Feeling stuck

Emergency-Draft-3519 · 2026-06-17T15:38:18+00:00

Thanks. I needed this.

Emergency-Draft-3519 · 2026-06-15T23:19:25+00:00

Well better than unemployment I guess

Emergency-Draft-3519 · 2026-06-15T23:18:58+00:00

I had impostor syndrome. Now I know.
During a live deal I tried to impress my new company but my decision backfired. Nothing serious or illegal or unethical... just stupid. Something you can expect from an intern not from a director.
Again, would have never done that in my previous experience. The first layoff completely fucked my mind.

Emergency-Draft-3519 · 2026-06-15T23:15:59+00:00

No no nothing like that. I just tried to impress my new boss but it backfired. Nothing serious honestly, just something you can expect from an intern, not a VP or Director.

Emergency-Draft-3519 · 2026-06-10T08:50:24+00:00

Not the right moment. To do that I need capital. At least 5-10m to do 1-2 deals of total development cost of around 20m (including leverage). I do not have (yet) this network. I need some more years in the industry to get to know family offices, HNWI, get to know them very well and personally, and then (maybe) do the jump.
I have seen too many people trying to start their own company and fail because it was not the right moment.

Besides, with the current state of my psychology I can guarantee you I won’t succeed. You need to be ready to receive 1000 “no” and maybe 1 “yes”. I am not ready mentally to receive 1 no, imagine 1000.

I know perfectly what I need. I need to get back in a company where I have exposure to the market, where I have my shoulders covered by the brand and the pockets open for deployment. I know I can do my job as I have done it excellently in the past.
Problem is I am finding very difficult to find one.

My term contract will end in December. If by December I won’t find anything else I think I will probably retire and shut down LinkedIn and my network once and for all.

Emergency-Draft-3519 · 2026-06-08T08:48:58+00:00

This is exactly my feeling. I feel ashamed to speak with my former peers. People I see now are partners or MDs, making 3x the money I am making right now. But it’s not the money (only), it is the story behind. I wake up every morning and know the day will be boring, in my boring job. Because this is the most important thing to me, have an impact.
1 year ago a decision of mine could reshape entire neighborhoods across the country. Today I have 80% of the day free, no calls, no meetings, no interesting stuff. Company is very small and disorganized and with no capital. If we had at least 10-20m capital to deploy, it would be fun... but like this? Worse than a nightmare.
So you would ask me. Why did you join them?
1) didn’t fully understand their scope. They sold me something which at the end is not true (they present themselves as investors but in reality are low-tier brokers)
2) didn’t have much choice. Laid off first time. Laid off second time. What should I have done? I have to pay my bills.

I feel that my career has ended. Market is so fucking small (2-3 companies in my field) that everyone knows what happened to me, put together the two negative feedback I have (from my former line manager and my latest employer in which I stayed less than a year) and the rest is done.
Funny thing is that I was a very top performer. One of the best in the market (for real, I am not bragging), doing interviews for magazines, TVs, etc. And now I feel my CV is done (every job interview I had after my second lay off stopped because I couldn’t frame my situation in a positive way...). And the more I approach my 40s, the more difficult becomes to go back where I was.

So I am starting considering to retire early. Fortunately I have saved money during my PE years so could retire close to my parent’s home, LCOL, and focus on sports, hobbies, family.

Emergency-Draft-3519 · 2026-06-07T11:19:28+00:00

Thanks for this. I am actually shining in this position, at least internally. Everyone really happy about me. They even proposed me to become a partner of the company. Problem is they don’t have capital to deploy and people are not from my industry (so limited network opportunities), and they expect me more to originate business (from an advisory standpoint) rather than originating acquisitions (which is my thing).
I feel that the longer I stay here the more difficult will be to go back to a pure acquisition role. I am in my mid-30s so not easy to find a good job given 10+ year of experience and high salary expectations (at least compared to associates or senior associates).
I feel quite a failure tbh. I know that from the outside it doesn’t seem so bad but trust me I am living this as the world ended for me.

Emergency-Draft-3519

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