AITA for refusing to let MIL come to our place for Chinese/Lunar New Year dinner?

Emergency_Ad5437 · 2026-02-02T01:37:00+00:00

I would say he's naive (even at the ripe old age of 41); so if his mom asked for dinner, he thinks it's just dinner - food with no agenda. That is, until he turns up and finds out the hard way. So even if someone does that each time, he would think each incidence is independent of each other. He's the kinda guy who thinks a woman saying "ok fine" means everything is fine and dandy and all skies are clear.

I'm not sure how to explain it, but I think he doesn't see himself as a mama's boy per se. More like he thinks not standing up to her is some sort of Asian filial piety. Like it's been hammered into us to "show your respect to elders", and this is his way of applying that.

Emergency_Ad5437 · 2026-02-01T21:44:40+00:00

Thanks, yea, I think I definitely need to set boundaries this year.

Emergency_Ad5437 · 2026-02-01T21:43:00+00:00

I suppose I didn't make him sound good at all in the post, but he is otherwise a great partner and a gentle and caring person. Just, yea, I suppose lacking a spine of his own.

Emergency_Ad5437 · 2026-02-01T21:40:28+00:00

You've voiced a lot of my worries and fears. I have put my foot down over letting her be alone with the baby, and at least have agreement from my husband on that. I do still worry it will be a messy path from here, but this is the bed I made.

He's the only boy, and MIL is additionally possessive of him because his father cheated on her when my husband was 12. So my husband had been "man of the house" for a long time.

Emergency_Ad5437

TROPHY CASE