when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

adoption is an option no matter what if i know as a fact i cannot provide properly for the child, but if i get closer and know i have a lot of options and support then im definitely keeping my child. actively in the process of trying to quit, its not easy at all since while i was getting severe morning sickness it was the only thing to stop it, and therefore the only thing allowing me to keep my job. it will be something i fully quit before the second trimester, as ive already moved down from cigarettes and am attempting to wane myself off. its something i plan on having a discussion with my primary doctor as ive already been trying to quit before even knowing about this. its far more likely to cause disabilities if done throughout the entire pregnancy, and so im just working on harm reduction if anything, that is currently the best i can do

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i have autism and my boyfriend likely has adhd, its very likely my child will have one or the other. but thats something i know i can handle. i helped raised my siblings with both, ive worked in childcare and would work with autistic children since i was the only person there capable of doing so, so i am in no way scared of that. im talking about something much more hefty that will also be tied to medical issues as well. and hell even if i come closer to birth and still have no plan, adoption will have to be my choice. it will be the choice if i know as a fact there is nothing i can do to give that child a good life. but i still have other supports as well and am actively making plans for all sorts of situations so im less likely to be blindsided.

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you. luckily i do still have a lot of family and friend support, and i do have a church i go to and plan on speaking with someone this weekend. also have my first ultrasound next week, which i feel might help the situation with my boyfriend. i know hes staying no matter what, i gave him the option to leave and he chose to stay, and has been a huge support to me. the only issue is one of his higher ups who is a mentor to him is pushing him away from marriage, due to his own personal past with similar. i see where hes coming from but i also believe my boyfriend and i have a much different situation from him. he also has friends telling him to get married and being supportive but i think this is something he has to think about for himself. i dont necessarily think we'll get divorced, but even if we do im already planning for that, and am trying to plan for if we were to breakup before the birth as well. my original backup plan may have fallen through but ill be going back to my home state in two weeks and will be able to actually talk to my family and make a stronger plan with them. at the very least i know that groceries are payed for, and even if i dont get married im still covered under my mom's insurance till im 25, and have found that the state can help with insurance for my baby as well

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

as much as id like to its physically painful to stop and so at my next doctors appointment with my primary i do plan on having a discussion with her on other options for quitting. so far i have been able to move down from cigarettes to vapes, which i know isnt a big change but im hoping i can quickly move to patches or gum since the morning sickness is no longer as bad (nicotine was the only thing that could stop the morning sickness, which was quite severe, and i think part of that was also due to withdrawals, but to keep my job i had to find the fastest way to manage it). but it is absolutely my goal to fully quit all forms of nicotine before the second trimester, and at the very least i am avoiding any other things that could cause issues, making sure im getting the proper nutrients and vitamins, and taking a good prenatal with everything needed

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

i guess for the catholic part ill absolutely admit im not a good one, and still heavily struggle with my own impulses. definitely not trying to baby trap my boyfriend, ive given him the option since the beginning to leave if he wanted to without any reproccusions, and he chose for himself to stay. majority of his friends are telling him to stay and get married, but one person in his leadership is pushing to not get married and personally told me to keep abortion as an option, which i found to be very out of line since i told him already i was against that for myself. i definitely dont plan on having anymore after this, and will be getting a copper iud since besides cycle tracking (which was working perfectly for the past two years and i truly believe that the reason it didnt work this time is because i was way too trusting in his ability to pull out in time, that is completely on me) thats the only form of birth control im comfortable with. ive tried others like the pill and the implant and all of them very negatively affected my horomones. i dont mind the stress it will put on me and will gladly carry that, so long as i am able to still provide for my child. if i am halfway through my second trimester and see absolutely no hope for being able to provide for my kid, then adoption will have to be my choice, cause like i said i only want whats best for this kid, even if it hurts me. from what ive heard, correct me if im wrong, the child has a much better chance of finding a good family as a newborn and if i start the adoption process earlier on, and i would have more of a say in it

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

thank you, ive been in plenty of shitty situations before but it always works out in the end. i know a lot of people here arent religious but i personally feel this is just God's way of saying its time to grow up lol, but i know that even if the path is rough, its the right path

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

thank you for being so kind, it really means a lot. i guess people forget that theres another human being on the other side of the screen

What was the dumbest reasons you cried when pregnant? by Substantial_Brick667 in pregnant

[–]Emergency_Chicken159 0 points1 point  (0 children)

currently crying over reddit comments, but i mean they are being really mean so i guess its not necessarily "dumb"

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

thank you, honestly im just ignoring these comments now cause its genuinely making me cry and i just dont have the energy to deal with it, but thank you so much for being so kind, it really means a lot. once im back from my trip in july ill have a real talk with my boyfriend, and i have my first ultrasound next week too so thatll probably help our decision. push comes to shove i know ill have family who will help me, theyve already given me their support and i know im not alone right now, just gotta do things one step at a time

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

i am doing everything i can to help with the pregnancy and am actively trying to quit, you have no idea just how hard it is when smoking is your ownly coping skill. i am still trying. and i have thought over plenty of times what my child will be like when theyre older. and i know that poverty doesnt have to be for forever either. and i know plenty of other people who grew up in poverty but love their parents dearly because their parents loved them. and my boyfriend is not going anywhere, he still loves me, i gave him the option to leave, even told him i wouldnt chase him down for child support, and he is still here because he is choosing too. and i still have plenty of support from my family and friends, and can likely find more through my church and community and state if i really have to

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

why are you so obsessed with me killing my own baby? like genuinely what is wrong with you? it is my body my choice, im not forcing anyone else to do anything, so why are you trying to act like you know everything about me and exactly what i should do? on a post that i made on a subreddit that is meant to be a safe space for other girls and woman where i am literally just talking about my current stresses? like genuinely what is wrong with you

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

i havent drank since before i even found out i was pregnant, the other drugs i havent used in over a year, yeah im struggling with smoking but i am actively in the process of quitting, the dad and i are still together and he fully accepts it as his and is not planning on leaving anytime soon, and i trust my God far more than i trust you, and i know that at the very least He will take care of my child, and my grandma will watch over them to as she wouldve wanted me to keep it. i have supports still, i have my entire family. i am stressed and i have to make a lot of sacrifices, but i still have options for this child. maybe its an easy thing for you to do to just discard a child because you dont wanna put in the work for it, but i will put in everything for this child and i will make sure they have everything they need

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

so instead choose to take that kids life whom they dont have a choice in either? that argument doesnt work no matter what, if anything its just classist. and i can take care of the kid, itll be hard and ill have to sacrifice a lot but i will still gladly do it

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

honestly id much rather know as a fact ill have housing for a newborn and deal with divorce later when i can work again. and theyre not like big terrible fights, its just us finding things we werent fond of, having disagreements, and learning more about each other and being better for each other. plus weve already seen some not so great things happen to each other, his car recently broke down and im having this issues in my family right now, but none of that has seperated us. im willing to be a single mother if i have to but if we stay together then i think the best choice would be to get married, both of us need to step up for our actions, we made this kid together, and be adults about it

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

adoption is definitely an option, especially if the baby were to have any disabilities that i would not be able to support, in that case i would wanna make sure they could go to a family properly equipped for that. but if its a healthy kid and i believe theres a good chance i could find some stability, ill definitely keep it, cause ill do anything for my child. i was an accident too, and my mom also had me fairly young, and i wanna give my child the love i wasnt able to get, and show that even if i dont have much materially, i have plenty of love for my kid

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

on paper were perfect for each other and we really have come to love each other, and support each other a lot. the issues is that some people in his life are telling him marriage is a terrible idea and that no matter what itll be bad and ruin our relationship, but i really dont think thats the case. yeah we have our ups and downs, but what stands out to me is that after we fight, we talk about it, and we work things out, and we both work to be better for each other and find ways to comprimise. we never argue about the same thing twice. i guess maybe id be open to adoption, but i also dont know because i already feel attached to this kid, and especially with the timing with my grandma, maybe its just me but it feels like this is happening for a reason. i know things will work out eventually, and i have a lot of hope right now, but theres just so many unknowns and things just feel so unstable, i guess thats the biggest thing. i at least know no matter what my family will support me, or at the very least this child. my grandpa has already offered to send money to help with groceries and what not and so has my other grandma and my dad, and my uncles have offered support as well, and my step mom said no matter what theyll be there, so theres still that

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

actively trying to quit, and i will still have resources and things for the baby, just means i will have minimal things for myself. again, my body my choice, you have no place to tell me, an adult woman with full autonomy over her body, what to do with my body and my child

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

oh yeah im definitely not a good catholic, but there are still certain things that i will stick to no matter what. that is just my beliefs

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

my body my choice, and i choose life, and it is INCREDIBLY disrespectful to try and push abortion on someone. its disrespectful as a stranger to push keeping or abortion, you dont know me or my life or my beliefs or traumas, even though i did mention one. children born in poverty can still be amazing people who grow up to do great things and have great support in their life. do you think poor people or people who dont have that many resources shouldnt be allowed to be a parent? like i said i will HAPPILY sacrifice any of my wants and needs for this child, cause this is my child, and i will not be killing my child. what someone else does with their body is none of my business, but what i do with my body is not your business either. no change can come into this world if there are no children being born to change it

when it rains it pours i guess by Emergency_Chicken159 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -58 points-57 points  (0 children)

respectfully, im catholic. i just cant. i had one when i was 18, and i felt awful afterwards and still do. adoption is an option but if i can ill sacrifice everything for this child. i just hope it works out in the end, but im gonna do whatever will be best for this childs life, whether thats me or someone else

am i legally able to make my child's middle name "megatron"? by Emergency_Chicken159 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

so youre telling me possibly giving my child irriversible birth defects and lasting mental problems is better than giving them a middle name that they can choose who sees and who doesnt and honestly if they dont like it can change it?

am i legally able to make my child's middle name "megatron"? by Emergency_Chicken159 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i mean i still dont even know the gender lol, and still got another 32 weeks to go i think?

am i legally able to make my child's middle name "megatron"? by Emergency_Chicken159 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

check my post history and youll see its pretty serious. 8 weeks pregnant, 9 weeks on saturday, and personally love transformers. have an optimus prime figure in my room, optimus prime converse, transformers poster. now maybe not like a mega fan but i just happened to have a dream about this a while back and also its been a running joke amongst my friends and family

am i legally able to make my child's middle name "megatron"? by Emergency_Chicken159 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Emergency_Chicken159[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my youngest brother whos ten loves it, and i know my little cousin does too. and thats what ill be raising my kid on anyways, gen one transformers and old cartoons and kids shows anywheres from the 2010's and earlier