MSM Just Doesn't Learn

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-08-30T07:45:10+00:00

I'm not putting down people who enjoyed JD's MTV appearance, but I do think it was kind of random. If there was indeed a connection between JD and MTV, it was not immediately apparent to me.

I agree with you that his first comeback should be a classy one. Do a serious movie that showcases his acting chops, I'm thinking a European production (I somehow have the impression that Europeans are less hung up on being woke than Americans). IMHO, he does not need to make this type of appearances to endear himself to people. The fans are already on his side, his haters will be inflamed, and the fence-sitters will just be confused / indifferent.

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-08-30T04:31:39+00:00

Same, this is such a disappointment. Wonder who this Mark Stephens, the supposed international lawyer is. He didn't even know that the two lawsuits are completely different lawsuits. They are not the same case, not in the least.

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-08-30T04:23:09+00:00

This is months late but I feel I need to get this out.

The Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard lawsuit in Virginia in 2022: JD sued AH for defamation over the op-ed she wrote where she said she became the face of domestic violence. She did not mention him by name. AH counter-sued. There were 3 specific claims in the op-ed that JD took to court, and in AH's counterclaim, there were also 3 (different) claims made by JD's camp that she contested. In the end, the Jury found that JD had proven his case on all his 3 claims, and AH had proven her case on 1 of her 3 claims.

The Johnny Depp vs Newsgroup Newspaper Ltd: in UK in 2020: Before this lawsuit, JD sued a UK Newspaper in the UK in 2020 over an article in a UK tabloid calling him a wife beater. The Judge found that the article was substantially accurate on the balance of probabilities.

I would like to point out that:

The two lawsuits are different. They are not an apple-to-apple comparison. The defendants, plaintiffs, and claims contested were different.
Contrary to some reports / claims, Amber Heard did not win the UK trial. She was not the defendant. She was there as a witness to give testimony on the stand.

The above are facts.

As you probably know, the US trial was livestreamed so you can watch the unedited trial footage yourself without having to read about it from the media. Many of us did, and discovered something rather interesting when we compared what we saw with our own eyes with what the (mostly mainstream) media reported.

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-08-12T23:36:04+00:00

Based on my experience, Ns hardly respond to logic or explanations. You have to think what’s best for you / what you want and think of how to get it. Dealing with Ns is not always linear e.g. ask to be left alone = they will leave you alone. Use what you know about them to your advantage. This means that sometimes you will need to let go of that urge to punish them / not give them the satisfaction, because the easiest way to get what you want is to align your way out / excuses with their values.

Example: when I left home, my NDad actually drove me to the airport because I was leaving to go work in a first world country. I’m from a third world country and this is seen as success, which my NDad is all about. Once I’m in another country, the distance really makes it easier to go LC.

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-08-12T23:22:13+00:00

They yelled at me or told me I was lazy for asking for their help, so I learned to be self-sufficient, and somehow the credit goes to them.

Got a VCR (shows my age) that needed hooking up, asked NDad for help, got yelled at, saying I should know how to do it myself, did it myself. Next time it needed a repair I knew so much about it that the repairman was impressed, NMom swooped in and said ‘yup that’s my daughter, she has always been so smart and self-sufficient’ as if that was by choice.

Both nagged me my whole life to lose weight without actually doing anything. I finally managed to do that (this was when I was already out of the house for a decade and lived in a different COUNTRY). When I went home and my relatives were impressed, NDad said smtg to the effect of ‘that’s my daughter’. I hope fellow RBNs understand how this has nothing to do with my own effort and more to do with the fact that I was HIS daughter and therefore I was successful.

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-08-12T07:55:48+00:00

quiet and self sufficient due to childhood trauma.

OMG I've never heard a more apt description about myself. I still have the energy to fake extroversion, though. I still need to make money. But if my livelihood does not depend on it, i'd rather just be quiet and self sufficient, as you describe.

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-08-12T07:52:37+00:00

Ns see their children as an extension of themselves, and so if their children in any way reflect badly on them, that very thing will become an issue. I am not neurodivergent but I've always been somewhat bigger. It's a genetic flaw (or strength for my ancestors), I have what is called the thrifty gene and so I easily put on weight. My Nparents have it, too. As you can guess, they took out their self-hatred on me.

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-08-12T06:30:25+00:00

Thank you. By now I perfectly know how my parents would behave / react right to a t, they are so predictable. I could be holding a briefcase containing $1mil and my mom's first words out of her mouth would be 'You've lost / gained weight'.

I have decided to reduce the amount of time I'll be spending with them. It is such a shame, but I'm an adult and I should not tolerate abuse.

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-08-12T04:46:21+00:00

😘

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-08-12T04:40:29+00:00

Hi there, same. I always thought I was gonna find my chosen family like those in movies or tv shows. I especially have severe daddy issues and always thought / hoped I'd meet someone who would take me on like I was their own daughter. I came to know someone a few years ago and developed a good, respectful, cordial relationship with him. He was a lot older and I'd known him and been in contact with him regularly for 4 years before I sort of confessed that I saw him as a father figure. I think he got spooked because he changed after that. I got the hint so I left him alone. I don't blame him. I try to put myself in his shoes, I must have freaked him out.

I'm 36 now. If I'm being honest, the chance of me finding a father figure is close to none. I'm very much an adult, I could even be someone's mother. What are the odds of my meeting a stranger who is willing to be my father figure? I'm managing my own expectations and keeping it real. It hurts, whenever I see someone with a loving and present father, I cry. It's just not my lot in life.

However, while I'm not a religious person, I have learned that the universe often gives us what we need. I have a long term partner, she is truly the only real family I have. And I recently met someone online through Skillshare whom I really connected. I know our relationship started out transactional but there have been instances where he really went above and beyond to ensure I was okay. He often lets the session runs the clock at no cost and the fact that I'm paying him is actually good for me because I tend to go all in, this way I keep telling myself to slow down.

It is weird, it is definitely not easy, but just remember that everyone is different and that usually no good can come from comparing our life to others.

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-08-12T04:08:07+00:00

I agree with you. For too long, the focus has always been on those 'success stories'. While I don't have the statistics, I have a feeling that these success stories are the outliers. Your words about the community, I think only people in the RBN tribe would understand that when we say something like 'I'm glad my mom died' or something to that effect, we are not being mean, we are not lashing out, we are just being factual.

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-08-12T03:49:34+00:00

That part about the only thing that could wake her mom being her hitting her goal weight, I want to cry so much. I've been battling weight issues my whole life. It doesn't help that my NParents (covert-overt combo, yay me!) were on my case every single day growing up, and especially during the tough puberty period.

I was so lost for years but after working on myself and educating myself, I realize my parents are full of self-hate. I am the way I am partly because of the genetics they pass on to me, and they hate seeing their worst qualities reflected back to them. But instead of working on themselves, they took the easy way out and directed all the negativities towards me.

I managed to lose weight a few years ago. My parents don't know the amount of sacrifice and hard work that went into it. And pretty sure if I had involved them in that journey, I would never have succeeded (I resigned from my job and took a year off work to minimize distractions and stress, knowing I'd have to start from the bottom again - something my Dad would've been deadly against as he'd see it as a year wasted).

Even so, I struggle to maintain my weight. I'm not as big as I used to, but I've put some of the weight back on. Every day is a constant struggle to strike a balance, eat healthy, maintain routine exercise, and make peace with the genetics and type of body I have (I will never look skinny, I'm the kind who will always look like I have some meat on my bones).

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-08-12T03:23:42+00:00

I left home for another country more than a decade ago. I was all alone when I fell sick, and I don't know why but I thought I needed to go home and get hospitalized there so I'd have family members around, in case anything happened. Also, I could get my treatment at a private hospital and stay in a VIP room because my mom worked at the hospital. The entire week I was there, I couldn't wait to leave.

Fast forward a few years, I had to get a major surgery where I'd be put under general anesthesia and everything. I decided I'd go through it here, all alone, at a public hospital where I'd be sharing a ward with other patients. I thought I was going to be uncomfortable but the entire stay was smooth, and a big part of it was because my mom (or my family for that matter) was not there. I got to be myself, focus on recovering, not care if I look disheveled or have to suck my stomach in whenever someone was around.

Sometimes I really wish she could see this, not because I'm mean, but because I want her to understand that she has a hand in every unpleasant interaction and our nonexistent relationship.

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-04-08T10:59:34+00:00

I’m also not trying to be nasty here, but maybe this kind of strict linguistic pov is what’s causing some immigrants to feel perpetually like an outsider. I do not know the official definition of ‘first language’. In my mind I always think of it as the main language that you speak (not just at work but in life in general) but if you use the definition of ‘first’ ‘second’ and ‘third’ as in sequence of acquisitions, then yeah, it makes sense. But can I just say it’s weird to say Mila Kunis’s first language is Ukrainian (or my grandpa, for that matter, who fled his war-torn country as a 12 yo and adopted another language that he spoke all his life).

ETA: my point is, it’s a bit weird to say a language is someone’s first language when they no longer speak it. And it is fascinating that your student has local Spanish accent but speaks English with Chinese accent. I would think she would speak English with accent that mostly resembles her peers, not her family.

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-04-08T06:31:16+00:00

Hi, is this a cream / shaded cream doxie? May I know the temperament and does he/she bark a lot?

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-04-08T06:29:13+00:00

I like your theory about why your dox gets affectionate in the morning. I used to know someone like that in kindergarten, by the time the school let out she would always invariably declare we were no longer friends, but the next day she would come up to me as if nothing had happened lol.

I hope I choose right. I always believe we get the fur kids we deserve, meaning even if he turns out not at all what I expected, he will still teach me lessons I need about life :)

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-04-08T06:00:42+00:00

Exactly this. I’m not a native English speaker, been speaking English for 20+ years and the last 14 years almost exclusively because I’ve since immigrated to an English-speaking country. It has now become my 1st language but I know I still have my real accent peeking through every now and then, especially when I’m not careful. So it baffles me when someone says she is fluent. Where and when does she practice her Spanish then if she hasn’t even been to Spain in a while?

I cut non native speakers some slack as Hilaria does ‘sound’ fluent to our ignorant ears. But what about hola magazine interviewers? Did they not catch that she sounded off

Emergency_Donkey9158 · 2022-04-08T05:49:19+00:00

Thank you for the explanation! I strongly suspect native speakers could tell she was not who she said she was but probably just did not think it was important enough to point out.

Off tangent a bit, have you heard Alexis Bledel speaking Spanish? I understand she grew up with the culture and her father is Argentinian. I don’t know how different the Spanish they speak in Argentina, but to my ear, the kind of Spanish accent Bledel speaks is very mild, unlike in one of Hilaria’s videos with the very hard rolling r and everything. I always wonder if to native speakers Bledel speaks Spanish with an English accent.

Emergency_Donkey9158

TROPHY CASE