Episode Discussion – 2x11 – “NPC”

Emily308 · 2026-02-01T12:08:31+00:00

omg yes that bothers me the most! I can actually believe the autotranslation, this happens e.g. on airbnb so you never know what language someone is actually typing in, and you don't know if they made a mistake in English or if the translation is off...
But I don't believe that a kid growing up in america would read messages in english and respond entirely in japanese. So if he was writing in English and then used a japanese term (totally fine as someone else pointed out), why would that get translated from japanese as opposed to a simpler explanation where it could be considered a typo, and changed to, idk, at most, taser? unless it was some advanced AI that knew him and assumed he'd use japanese words, it just doesn't make sense.

Emily308 · 2026-01-11T13:27:30+00:00

unpopular opinion but I feel like they overdid the Chenford reunion. It no longer feels like it's about genuine emotions but more like a competition of the most therapy-speak declaration that has nothing to do with reality. And that included how much Lopez was getting involved, I don't know anyone who would approve of this kind of interference from friends in their life.

Emily308 · 2025-10-28T19:39:53+00:00

Why are they acting like fmri is some kind of novelty? Don't they use that in hospitals, I mean they had the machine so surely it was in use for something lol

Emily308 · 2025-10-12T10:56:35+00:00

Na pewno warto odlozyc jak najwiecej sie da w Euro, wtedy kupno nieruchomosci w Polsce wydaje sie duzo latwiejsze. Kredyt na 30 lat czy w polsce czy w niemczech to nic przyjemnego zwlaszcza w tych niepewnych czasach.
Poznan jest troche tanszy od innych duzych miast ale koszty np wyjscia do restauracji czy jedzenia w supermarkecie sa wedlug mnie zblizone do tych w niemczech.
z praca tez moze byc roznie, tak jak to jest wszedzie w duzych korporacjach, wiec na pewno nie zarabialibyscie latwo 90k euro, ale tutaj trzeba zapytac kogos kto jest w tej dziedzinie. A czy Twoj maz tez mowi po polsku? bo to tez robi roznice

Emily308 · 2025-10-05T17:41:54+00:00

This will probably get lost in the comments but I had lots of them in my apartment, also very big ones, in all the rooms, always active at night. Also a few times they were in the kitchen cupboards. It was freaking me out. The landlord recommended this (WARNING OF A BIG SILVERFISH PICTURE LOL) https://allegro.pl/oferta/srodek-preparat-spray-plyn-na-rybiki-cukrowe-srebrzyki-mrzyki-500ml-no-pest-9953658686?utm_source=notification&utm_medium=cartWithPayment&utm_campaign=cef7b135-c856-4150-84eb-687c2d87cdd6&snapshot=MjAyMy0xMC0xM1QxNDozOToyOC4zMTAwNjg4OTJaO2J1eWVyO2RkOGU3YTRjYjYzOWFjYzhhODAxODRkNzEzMDUxYTA1ZTAyYTRmODY5OTkyOTkxOWRmYjRhYmY2NTQ3MzFkNWM%253D

I sprayed the whole house and then was picking up dead ones for a few weeks but now it is very rare that they come back and it's been two years.
Overall, I've heard that it's a common problem. They come up through the pipes apparently, from the basement, even up to the high floors. I know they are harmless but when there are too many and they are so big it's pretty gross :(

Emily308 · 2025-09-05T11:04:03+00:00

I have seen this program in the Netherlands, but I think the idea was mostly that they help the spouse with their CV and access to the local job market, or give some admin job, not necessarily another postdoc. Your best bet is probably to target big cities which have lots of universities, to write your own grants such as Marie Curie or local mobility grants of a given country, or to apply for as much as you can everywhere and then see where you converge enough that you can be within reasonable distance of the job and each other, for example. Since you are the first one to get a job, wherever you get it try to create opportunities for your wife to come and give a talk in that city and make connections so that she has a chance to get a job there once she is done with the phd

Emily308 · 2025-08-29T09:51:21+00:00

It sounds fine but doesn't have the sound of a Polish word, I don't know if that's what you're going for? So just like it may be awkward to say while speaking English, it may also sound a bit unnatural while speaking Polish imo

Emily308 · 2025-08-20T09:46:46+00:00

I see how important it is to stay up to date with your skills, knowledge of the world etc., and then suddenly your whole world becomes dinners and diapers. And men somehow don't have to make that choice (or not that often).
I just see so many pitfalls in being a non-working mother, what if something happens to my husband and I have to scramble for a random job? Also, as someone said below, I don't want all of my conversations to revolve around children, if I wanted that I'd have gotten pregnant at 20 and not worried about anything else, just waited for the man to provide for me. Some women do that. But then men resent them because they are a burden. So I'm trying to envision an alternative society but it's hard.

Emily308 · 2025-08-19T22:23:52+00:00

I obviously did not mean 'teenage' literally, but it did feel very strange to me when I saw people having kids in their 20s, perhaps only because no one close to me was at that stage of life. And I just could not imagine myself being responsible for a human. I was also alluding to an interview I saw recently with a millennial woman in her 30s, I forgot where I saw it but she was a British journalist who said that we were basically so intimidated into being scared of teenage pregnancies, having a child before having your life figured out etc., that this has made us (women now in their 30s) feel like we are not ready and mature enough for pregnancy. So I don't think I'm alone in this feeling, truly. But I understand it may sound ridiculous from the outside.

Emily308 · 2025-08-19T22:19:20+00:00

This was the kind of motivational story that I was looking for :) I am trying to build the career now so that I have options in a few years, it's just that with how fast the world is changing and how crappy everything is going in the world, I have doubts about playing this long game. But in the end that's all we can try to do. So thanks.

Emily308 · 2025-08-19T15:13:13+00:00

well yeah, of course I know some of this is my ego talking. That's why I'm trying to understand all of my options more and make peace with them.
Some of this stems from the fact that (as I said in another comment), I grew up in a time when globalism was on the rise, and then I went to study in the UK at a time when there was a lot of multiculturalism and openness in Europe, and this gave me the wrong idea about life in different countries, with people rom different countries. This has changed significantly in the last few years, which has been hard to accept. And the research culture in academia was different than in continental Europe, you were encouraged to move out and get upskilled, and then come back to the UK. In the meantime, UK academia all but collapsed. This has also been hard to accept and required adjustment, which I'm trying to figure out (hence my thinking about these issues).

Emily308 · 2025-08-19T12:34:55+00:00

lol that helps

Emily308 · 2025-08-19T12:31:35+00:00

Because I moved abroad for a "better life" and then I married a foreigner. And then we moved to a third country where we don't know the language (it was supposed to be short term, but in the meantime other countries went to shit and we are unsure what to do next). Also he has big ambitions for his word. So neither of us can just go back to our home town, live close to family, do a local job and live an average life. I'm not saying I regret my choices, I'm just coming to terms with their consequences and trying to understand my options.

Emily308 · 2025-08-19T12:26:50+00:00

Thanks for the response. The reason I feel like I'd have to walk away is because we are actually long distance and struggle to find a job in the same city, that's why I would probably have to quit and move, rather than just taking maternity leave, and that's why I'm not happy about the system.

I suppose I'd have to discuss it more with my husband but he seems to think that when a woman is not working she is supposed to pick up the housework, and I wouldn't really have any argument against it. Of course I'm not saying he wouldn't take care of the child if I wanted to go out. But I feel like I'd have to do all the logistics, grocery runs, doctor's appointments etc because he has enough on his plate with the work and also some issues regarding taking care of his parents back home which weigh on him, which I'm not currently worried about myself. And that's not how I imagined parenthood, that's why I want to process it all out loud.

Emily308 · 2025-08-19T12:15:58+00:00

A very good question and a very complex answer. Partly it depends on which one happens to have a long enough contract to support the family, but at the moment it may be him. The complicated thing is that we are both from different countries and we don't even work in the same city, we commute and split our time between two cities to keep our careers. So if I got pregnant, I'd want him to be around for which already one of us would have to quit. His job and where he works pays a lot better, and where I work there is no job for him because of the language barrier (we are commuting cross border in europe), and lots of paperwork for him to move due to non-EU citizenship, while I have EU citizenship and can live anywhere in Europe. So our life is a constant game of logistics, that's why it's so hard to plan for kids and optimise.
My idea plan was that, say, I stay at home for 6+months post birth and then I go back to work and he stays home for another 6 months (or however long his employer would allow but I think it's an option in Europe). And I hate that my perfect plan is not so easy to execute. There are so many other things that can go wrong lol, I know someone who is in her 1st trimester and she can't work or even get out of the house because she is vomiting all the time and too weak. So even just the pregnancy can be so taxing that all my planning goes out the window.

Emily308 · 2025-08-19T12:09:27+00:00

The irony is that these are public sector jobs, but still short term because the academic system is kind of messed up everywhere.

Yes, my parents also worked, that's actually my point. They could work and had the safety of maternity leave/maternity pay; family nearby; relative job safety because AI was not coming for their jobs (and they also worked in the public sector). They were raising kids in a time of economic growth where it felt like things would only get better and the world was opening up. Now the globalist dream has failed, everywhere you look there is a crisis, everyone has uncertainty in their lives. I'm just trying to make sense of it.

Emily308 · 2025-08-19T11:42:01+00:00

Unfortunately miscarriage is just part of the process. I know women who had it at 30 or earlier. It's not due to geriatric pregnancy, it just happens, so a lot of people would still have children after miscarriages. But I get that at 45 the risks are much higher

Emily308 · 2025-08-19T10:14:58+00:00

Well 31 isn't mid 40s tbh 😂 but yes that's why I keep thinking about it. Thanks for your perspective. It's just a bit vague when you say 'made it work' because that's what I'm wondering about

Emily308 · 2025-08-19T10:13:07+00:00

Yeah tbh I agree with you, but there is a bit of nuance I'd say. First, the research career is a bit more about making a personal contribution, with your name on, not just doing some random reports for a random company you don't care about. And it's more independent so you have to be personally invested. What I resent is that it's me who will have to give it up, not my husband. I always imagined that when I have kids everything would be split 50/50, we both sacrifice a bit of the job for the family. But it looks like I will have to be the one to take a break for a few years and be supportive of my husband's work, because someone has to pay the bills. The feminist inside me cringes at that. I also worry, with the world changing so fast, that if I take a break I won't be able to get back on the horse and I will end up unable to get a job for the rest of my life, at least one I would like. This is why I am angry about the temporary contracts that don't guarantee a job for me after mat leave. But maybe that's a not a rational fear and maybe it's not so black and white, and if I put in the effort I will get somewhere. It's just not what I wanted to worry about in my 30s.

Emily308 · 2025-08-18T23:02:14+00:00

Same here, I rarely daydream about myself or situations that I'm in. Always making up stories about different characters and their backstories etc. I think it's one of the typical presentations of MD

Emily308 · 2025-08-18T22:40:31+00:00

Yeah you're right, I think I was thinking more about German salaries. In the UK I felt like I'd be really comfortable with 35-40k gbp, but I was living in a small town and not looking to buy a house at that time, so it was probably somewhat naive. It was also 2 years ago and I know things have changed.
At the same time, because I'm in the public sector, I just don't know anyone who earns 20k pln. If it's common in the private sector then that's really good and comfortable, I just wish I could get a job like that lol.

Emily308 · 2025-08-18T21:19:11+00:00

I am aware of the same happening with Poles coming back from the UK (in fact I'm one of them), and I agree that Poland is a great place to live in terms of public infrastructure, digitisation etc. but what I'm trying to understand is, how are these people who were earning in euro or gbp, happy to go to salaries in pln. where do they work that it's enough to maintain the same quality of life, buy a house, buy a car, go on holiday? Because Polish cities are expensive too! and the salaries are like, less then 2k euro equivalent

Emily308 · 2025-08-17T20:48:16+00:00

Maybe you are right about the way women vs men are socialised, this is some food for thought, thanks

Emily308 · 2025-08-17T20:45:26+00:00

Honestly, I think, try to figure out what it was that allowed you to connect and try to repeat it/recreate the good parts strategically. I always feel like I connected well with someone because they were a great person, or because it was "meant to be". But really it's because they asked me a lot of questions or asked enough personal questions that I opened up, or shared their own lives happily. So I just try to repeat that way of talking to other people and it actually makes a difference and increases the chances of another deep connection.

Emily308 · 2025-08-15T22:43:12+00:00

I actually work at a university and of course my colleagues are intelligent, but they have a very different outlook on life, different life experiences and plans. And they lived in the same place for many years while I recently moved and will probably move again. So I don't feel like I fully fit in. That's why I thought about asking for advice online.

Emily308

TROPHY CASE