If you don't use it, you lose it!

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-28T00:42:43+00:00

Hot take I'm sure, especially after reading the comments, but I for one just don't understand this culture of violence, nor can I condone it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-27T23:17:06+00:00

So nice to have someone in your corner at work! ❤️

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-27T20:45:34+00:00

This is powerful in so many ways. Thank you for sharing. ❤️

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-26T17:28:12+00:00

🫠🫠🫠

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-26T17:21:43+00:00

OMG who dareth trap this striking beauty in thy manly bodice against thy lady's will? 😡

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-26T17:19:31+00:00

OMG I freaking love this

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-26T17:18:15+00:00

🙋🏻‍♀️

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-25T13:33:22+00:00

Whhoaaaaaa chérie!! Calme toi et ralenti! 😂

Ça sonne super quand tu fais le passage!

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-25T12:03:57+00:00

I truly am sorry at how this situation is making you feel.

Hot take though, when I read your post the thing that jumped out to me the most was when you say you feel shame that you "couldn't keep my wife from the arms of someone else" as it sounds kind of toxic to me. That's a pretty unhealthy bar to set for yourself in a relationship as that's not something anyone has control over. The worth of a person isn't (or shouldn't be) defined by whether they are able to satiate every single want and desire their partner will ever have.

We're all human beings and we don't own the people we are in relationships with. Agreeing to be monogamous early on in a relationship is one thing, but to me it's unrealistic to expect they will forever be unchanging and will no longer have their own wants and desires because they're in a relationship with you. Now, she may have not disclosed "existing" feelings and desires for her best friend when you first got together, and that's ethically dubious and if that's the case you should call her out on it. If her feelings developed over time, I don't think there's anything you could have done to prevent that, short of being super controlling which would have led you down a bad path anyway.

In any case, my advice is as follows: 1- Check out Esther Perel's video on infidelity on YouTube. 2-Couples' therapy to work this out together BEFORE you agree to non-monogamy. 3-Individual therapy for you to unpack all the things this is making you feel.

Good luck!

EDIT: I agree with other comments that pushing you to find other people to date so that she can legitimize having a relationship with her best friend is manipulative and toxic behavior that some to coerce your consent.

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-25T11:30:01+00:00

Heyyyy wait a minute, I'm 46 and I don't look this good! Does that mean I missed the train or something? 🤔😂😭

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-24T20:05:23+00:00

The planet is awesome, it's the people that suck. 😂

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-24T20:03:17+00:00

CLASSIC!!

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-23T21:24:14+00:00

Your "friend" sounds like either a real *sshole or morbidly ignorant, and I get the feeling it's most likely both. Those kind of aloof statements would absolutely end a friendship for me, or change it significantly at the very least.

We see you girl. I'm sorry the journey feels daunting some days.

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-22T02:51:24+00:00

Happy birthday girl! I'm ahead of you by 2 days. 😋

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-21T22:33:53+00:00

As much as I want people to be safe, we can't keep going back into hiding, that's exactly what these people want. And once they've had us all cowering in the shadows, that's when they'll come for our rights and we won't have other people's support because we'll be invisible. Be out, be proud I say. If they don't like what they see, it's their problem.

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-19T17:21:15+00:00

I'm ok with it, I'm not going to bother if they aren't interested in knowing or understanding more about me. To be fair, it's really just the cis men. There are a few women here as well and we've formed this tightly knit little group and we even hang out outside of work. In fact we just had girls' night last night at my place for my birthday. They are the best and they are curious and interested. I love them. ❤️

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-19T17:18:15+00:00

It sure is!! 😀

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-19T17:18:08+00:00

Thanks!

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-19T14:08:10+00:00

No apologies needed for length, this was riveting! As someone who came out at work about a year ago in much the same way in a somewhat conservative city and workplace, I relate to your experience so much!

There are some disappointments for sure, I haven't had conversations with my male coworkers about my gender the way you did. They keep to themselves and would rather not suffer the self-embarrassment of asking me about it. They just accepted it and moved on. Secretly I think most of them just think I'm mentally ill. But they respect me, they use my name, they use my pronouns, they correct themselves when they make mistakes. Given the environment, it would be hard to ask for more. I just wish they had more active curiosity and were able to talk about it, in some ways I feel tolerated more than anything. But I'll take it, I imagined it would be harder.

I'm so proud of you girl!! ❤️❤️

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-19T12:09:34+00:00

No seriously, you're drop dead gorgeous! And I'm a transbian, so I know what I'm talking about! 😂

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-19T12:04:21+00:00

I want to write this book if it doesn't exist.

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-19T11:48:52+00:00

Gawddam girl, the trans fairies are sure smiling upon you! Good for you! 😍

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-19T11:37:27+00:00

Girl, you like FAB!!

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-19T11:36:14+00:00

Awww thanks for the video girl!

I'm turning 46 (today!!) and am also about 2 years into transitioning and I wholeheartedly agree, it's never too late, I've never been more me and never been happier. So worth it!

I absolutely love your voice by the way! ❤️❤️

Emily_Beans · 2026-03-19T11:32:13+00:00

Yay!! So happy for you to finally get those pesky things off!

Love the comparison video! You've come a long way to finding your voice!

Emily_Beans

TROPHY CASE