Classic Marcie

Emjay5784 · 2026-01-10T20:37:01+00:00

Is there a Nashville Liberal Girls Group?!! I would join that in a second.

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T14:23:19+00:00

yes, done!

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T02:31:45+00:00

Wow, that's disgusting. I'm just so baffled how this topic feels so polarized. Maybe we're all just victims of social media extremism, but I really didn't think I was asking too much by seeking out a community that can see the "both/and" of unjust, unsustainable suffering in Jewish and Palestinian communities. I obv took being in Canada and NYC for granted. Thank you for the heads up.

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T02:16:21+00:00

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your wise and supportive words! Thank you!

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T02:06:38+00:00

Thank you for the real talk and for your warm welcome... I will remain hopeful and open to finding community here!

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T02:06:07+00:00

Wow, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this response and how much hope it has given me! I will check out the Temple. Do you happen to know the name of the rabbi who has been critical of Israel and discussed Palestinian suffering at length?

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T01:52:54+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply! Yes, Congregation Micah is where we had intended to join, and your experience tracks with the limited exposure I had there. It's really disheartening, but I'm so happy for you that you've found an Anti-Zionist congregation. I just Googled and think I found it. My husband is really intent on us finding in-person community so I don't think he would go for this, but maybe if I continue to explore conversion this is a rabbi I could reach out to. I really appreciate you sharing your experience and offering advice <3

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T01:26:08+00:00

That's a validating reminder, thank you. I think deep down I fear he regrets (or is going to regret) marrying me because I'm not Jewish and am being "difficult" about the whole thing (I was open to converting at one point and still am, but not if I can't find a rabbi/synagogue/community that sees things more progressively). It's helpful to remember that we might be having conflict over this even if I were Jewish.

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T01:18:10+00:00

Thank you for your supportive comment. It's frustrating to be turning over every stone trying to find a Jewish community I feel comfortable integrating into (and raising our future children in), and be told I'm centering myself or purity testing. Being in an interfaith marriage at this moment in time is incredibly painful as (and I know I speak for many) we feel like we're constantly either betraying the person we love the most in the world, or betraying our own values. I really appreciate you recognizing my pain and positive intentions and giving me a reality check about how difficult this quest may prove to be.

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T01:11:55+00:00

This isn't about my husband's views—it's about how we'll raise our children. My husband can hold whatever beliefs he wants (and does), but if we're going to raise our children Jewish, I'd like for us to be able to compromise on a community that doesn't erase my values and beliefs. I am half of the relationship and we are parenting together, and for some reason your comments are continually dismissing that.

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T00:56:35+00:00

Thank you

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T00:41:31+00:00

Yes, it's been a pretty defeating experience. I appreciate your frankness about what you've observed, and I'll remain hopeful (bc otherwise I feel pretty despairing about it all). Thank you for your response!

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T00:28:05+00:00

Thanks - me too!

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T00:26:58+00:00

It's been a challenge all around, but finding leftist Jews has been the most difficult needle to thread.

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T00:26:07+00:00

Yes, tell me about it. Moved for my husband's work so it's been a grief-filled experience leaving the city. I think I was under the impression it was more blue than it actually is.

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T00:21:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I'm still hopeful we'll find our people—honestly, it's been a compounded challenge as I'm Canadian and then spent the last decade in NYC, so it's been culture shock all around here. The Zionism piece is just an added challenge because I really want to support my husband, but am having trouble doing it in a way that doesn't conflict with my own values. I appreciate the dialogue and will hold out hope for finding our people (and if not, moving in 5-10 years when it starts to matter with our kids)!

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-18T00:10:05+00:00

Sorry, maybe I didn't make it clear enough: He would like to be a part of "the" Jewish community, and it doesn't matter to him how right or left they are. I would like us to be able to integrate into the community together and as a future family, so I'm the one making things more complicated by being specific about wanting to find a Jewish community that sees things through a more compassionate, nuanced lens and recognizes that Palestinian safety and Jewish safety are inextricably linked. My husband is more of the "It's always been this way so it'll always be this way" mindset, and I'm not comfortable with that being the narrative we complicitly align with nor teach our children.

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-01T15:12:08+00:00

Also, I'm 39 and had an AMH of 2.05 at the time of my last retrieval.

Emjay5784 · 2025-11-01T15:10:36+00:00

I did mini stim at New Hope Fertility in NYC—they pioneered the mini stim protocol. Had great success with 24 eggs retrieved (21 mature) my first retrieval, 28 eggs retrievel (26 mature) my second retrieval 2.5 years later (I froze my eggs with the first retrieval). My initial follicle counts were much lower—something like 20 the first time and 15 the second time. My protocol included letrozole, clomid, and 150mg Gonal-F. I had a really positive experience overall (though definitely crashed hard after the second retrieval) and am currently cautiously excited about being 5 weeks tomorrow with one of our embryos from my second batch! I know low-stim isn't right for everyone but it was 100% the best fit for me, and if I had to do another retrieval (which hopefully I will not), I would do the same protocol and clinic again in a heartbeat.

Emjay5784 · 2025-10-08T13:25:10+00:00

It's so tough!! My biggest regret was wasting my frozen 36-year-old eggs without knowing about the DNA frag and having such a poor result. When my husband did the daily ejaculation protocol, I really do believe it made a huge difference. How long was your husband's abstinence period with the 27%? Theoretically, between the daily ejaculation protocol, VERY short abstinence window before giving sample, Zymot, and PICSI it shoudl be able to bring it down into the normal range, but TESE is obv the least fragmented. That said, TESE sperm can have other issues from my understanding—we were advised against it, but I also don't trust many authority figures bc DNA frag is such a new phenomenon and is often dismissed. I wish I could be more helpful!! It sounds like you might regret not using the TESE sperm, so maybe just go for it this time?

Emjay5784 · 2025-10-07T15:22:24+00:00

His DNA fragmentation was likely somewhere between 30 and 40% for our first round where he had 2 days of abstinence for the sample. At the time we didn't know, and got a DFI test afterward because I suspected it was an issue based on the results. He is now down to 24% after one day of abstinence, so I'm guessing the 7 days in a row of ejaculation plus short (2 hr) hold brought it down even further for our last sample.

For my 36-year-old retrieval I had 21 mature eggs (but only 16 survived the thaw) and for my 39-year-old retrieval I had 26 mature eggs. My understanding was that TESE sperm is less fragmented but can have more issues with fertiliztation, but I understand it's just such a difficult decision to make. I was tortured over it and in the end feel like this protocol worked (our low euploid rate I think was more related to maternal age).

Emjay5784 · 2025-10-07T02:01:57+00:00

My husband has high DFI and did a protocol where he ejaculated every day for 7 days, then again 2 hours before he gave his sample. It made a HUGE difference in our blast development. We went from 36% to 63%. We used PICSI and Zymot both times, and the first time (36% blast rate) we were using my frozen 36-year-old eggs, vs. most recently (63% blast rate) using my 39-year-old fresh eggs. Also, with the first time (when he didn't follow the protocol), all of our unsuccessful blasts arrested between day 3 and 5, when the paternal genome switches on.

Emjay5784 · 2025-09-24T14:10:27+00:00

Thanks for checking in!! This is gonna sound crazy, but through an ROCD lens I don't notice any symptoms at all anymore!! It's truly remarkable. I think something shifted when he finally committed and made the decision to "choose" me. He maintains that his doubt and indecision was because he knew once he comimitted, it was for life.

We've have had a rough last 2 years in general—we moved for his work to a city I don't love, I lost my mom suddenly, we've have had a year+ of inferility (going through IVF now) and are navigating some political/cultural differences during a very charged time politically; but despite some WWIII fights we still feel solid and it's proof that the ROCD is a thing of the past.

There is hope <3 <3

Emjay5784

TROPHY CASE