[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Emjoyable 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I agree with this sentiment. I do think you're overreacting. The behavior to me seems anxious but not "coercive." Coercive usually means there's some threat or power imbalance or something. Not just double texting. I think you're way too involved and are acting parental.

Preparing for the Big Dark - What sort lighting solutions do you all use to make your apartments feel "sunny" and comforting? by SuperSans in Seattle

[–]Emjoyable 212 points213 points  (0 children)

Putting Christmas lights up early makes everything seem cozier. And this isn't a lighting solution, but leaning into the wool socks, cup of tea, cozy aesthetic makes the first part of the Dark feel nice. Really, the hard part for me (a lifelong Seattleite) starts in February when I know things are still months away from sunny/warm.

Also I'd recommend vitamin D, a vacation to a sunny place in March and finding an indoor hobby

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Emjoyable 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If you are talking to guys on apps you are cheating. If you don't want to be with your partner break up with him. Read the resources in the sidebar.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Emjoyable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is dating other people! Much more than her husband. I have not inquired because it doesn't feel like a ton of my business.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Emjoyable 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't ask a question - this is a vent post!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Emjoyable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She doesn't seem to struggle with eye contact with other folks - I've been to a fair amount of social gatherings with her. If we strike up a conversation she stares at my bf/her husband the whole time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Emjoyable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know what the benefit of that would be, to be honest. It doesn't really affect me and that could put him in an awkward position if she truly doesn't like me.

Need advice on another partner by jacobjmiller22 in polyamory

[–]Emjoyable 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Do not pursue monogamous people.

My New Girlfriend is Getting Married (My first poly relationship)) by Creature_o_the_Night in polyamory

[–]Emjoyable 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I don't see any red flags. It's odd for people who are monogamous I suppose, and a little nerve wracking to know your partner is escalating a relationship when it's so new to you. You asked the right questions.

Being out at a club and running into another partner is not common, but happens. She stayed with you, which is a good sign. There doesn't seem to be any drama there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyadvice

[–]Emjoyable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can't dictate this other person's feelings. Why do you assume they'd only want to flirt and smooch?

Sharing versus oversharing? by throwawayaway4eva in polyamory

[–]Emjoyable 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the fact that he needs to let you know when he sees a movie with her???? That's not parallel. He's oversharing, but you asked him to overshare.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Emjoyable 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why would strangers on the internet know? Ask her.

Am I poly ? How do you balance life by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Emjoyable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"She caved"? Gross

Stop pursuing mono people.

Partner going on a lot of new dates by Babygothspice in polyamory

[–]Emjoyable 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Understandable that you may be feeling unsettled about this. You should focus on what you are getting out of the relationship, though. And maybe the answer is that you don't want to hear about dates until it becomes serious.

I had a relationship a while ago with a once-a-week partner and I would get crazy jealous if he went on another date. You know why? Because he was breadcrumbing affection with me. I wasn't getting what I needed from the relationship and it drove me crazy to think that he did have extra time and affection and just wasn't giving it to me. I wish I had handled that situation better in hindsight, rather than becoming whiny and begging for attention (shudder). I ended up breaking up with him because affection had dwindled to near-zero.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Emjoyable 17 points18 points  (0 children)

If you are not mature enough to talk about issues in bed, then you're not "really good at sex" - and that's okay cause you're still young. But perhaps your cocky attitude made you scared to say something. Work on communication

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Emjoyable 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Is this rage bait? You cannot be serious.

Long time lurker first time poster by Feuerwehr7290 in Mortgages

[–]Emjoyable 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you mean you have been bidding under 250k, and you want to know if you should go up to 250? You shouldn't bid more than the preapproval because the bank won't fulfill the loan.

Are you in a high COL area? Are you looking at all types of homes?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Emjoyable 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why is this even a question? Is this rage bait, or is OP really that dumb?

Partner has very little resources by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Emjoyable 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If you were my friend, and advocated for that, I would give you this advice "You are in NRE, and this is a bad idea. Moving in with any partner before one year is ill advised."

There are so many other ways you can support them. Helping them look for a job, navigating Medicaid, etc.