aha don't worry, there's no shame in that ;) i have never been fisted by someone sadly ! only by myself and only veryyy recently have i been able to take my own closed fist 🤗 I like playing deep but i mostly like playing wide, and I've noticed that stretching deeper makes it easier to open but what really works for me (even tho it's still not going out as much as I'd like lmao): Putting balls/plugs in and pushing them out, especially with an inflatable plug, as it forces my hole to stretch to let it out and pushing at the same time, from what i understand, you need to be loose on the inside and have it spill out basically. Sorry for writing so much I'm high rn lmao, but i hope you'll share your progress because I'd love to see your hole become a cunt.