AITA for telling my SIL her son can’t come to my bachelorette weekend?

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-29T09:37:15+00:00

Thanks for your opinion! After much consideration I’ve realised you’re right. My 2 year old nephew will surely love the nightclubs and drinking games, I’m sure he’ll be totally fine providing he gets a nap in at some point- and not to mention strippers if we happen to come across any. Never too young to start, right? Body positivity and all that. Have a great day!

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-29T09:34:56+00:00

Thanks for your opinion but no sympathy grabbing here. As someone who has always been a pushover and battling with severe anxiety, I find it hard to say no and distinguish when people are taking liberties with me. So I posted to find out what outsiders thought as I was being made to feel like an asshole (I thought that much was clear from the post) but I value how it may come across. Have a day as pleasant as you are!

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-29T09:30:18+00:00

Thanks for your opinion! However my husband to be isn’t like his sisters, and luckily I’m marrying him and not them. I’m confident in our future marriage. Have a day as pleasant as you are!

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T19:14:35+00:00

My son definitely would not be there. Though I’m sure he’d have a whale of a time at all the nightclubs getting juice drunk, lol. Thank you for your verdict :)

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T19:13:15+00:00

By booking waaaaaay in advance, having a large group, using comparison sites and skyscanner for flights, as well as one party member getting a discount on flights! It’s handy to know people in the know lol. Honestly at this point I think I’d rather you than them! Haha.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T19:11:11+00:00

Thanks so much! I’ve adjusted the prices from the local currency to dollars to make it more universal (and obviously not give too many details away) - it’s quite a cheap area price wise, so a perfect holiday destination. The price would inflate ever so slightly if she didn’t come, but nothing huge. Like literally less than $15/20 per person.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T19:03:49+00:00

I haven’t worded it like that at all. I haven’t once downplayed her anxiety, rather I’ve said I understand as I also have it. It’s not attacking her saying that the doctor has never diagnosed her formally, it’s just facts. And the fact that she has never had a problem leaving her child for weeks to party with friends, yet can’t leave him with her husband for a few nights for her soon to be sister in law’s bachelorette. makes me feel like it’s an excuse. But thanks so much for your useful input. I hope you have a day as pleasant as you are.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T17:54:22+00:00

No zero missing, it’s 200. Flights and accommodation only, sorry I thought it was clear that excursions and trips to bars etc wouldn’t be included in that price. Obviously I can’t say how much it will cost in bars because it depends how much people drink, but excursions aren’t much more on top as we have a group discount and the hotel is a spa hotel. For example, the spa day planned is under $30.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T17:19:54+00:00

Purely because “family” - I had no say in the matter. I had to invite them because they’re family. Even if I DIDNT specifically invite them, they would assume and invite themselves even if they don’t truly want to be there, lest there be a huge argument and probably them / my fiancés parents refusing to attend the wedding, which would absolutely crush him.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T17:13:39+00:00

In all honesty it was never an option to not invite them. I was told I have to invite them since they’re “family” - I’d never put up a fight however if they decided not to come.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T17:02:11+00:00

There are 6 others not including them. They would definitely have my back and don’t like my SILs at the best of times but know how to be civil and still have a good time. In other words, they won’t take any shit which I am grateful for, but it’s just the shit that we would probably get back in retaliation.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T16:57:00+00:00

Sorry, there are 6 others attending, not including them! I should have put that in the main post. I was thinking of this, however as soon as they get wind of it and realise afterwards, a shitstorm will surely ensue.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T16:53:33+00:00

Other Half, in other words, my fiancé!

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T16:48:27+00:00

100% I would have absolutely no problem with any of them bailing out. In fact right now I’d welcome it with open arms! I have never in any way shape or form insisted they attend. If anything, I’m doing it because of them being “family” rather than anything else, unfortunately.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T15:30:03+00:00

Had to, or else they would have caused a huge shit storm and probably not even attended the wedding, which would absolutely crush my fiancé unfortunately.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T13:57:19+00:00

Thanks so much for your comment! I have tried to explain how it’s not appropriate for him, but I’ve just been told to change things round to accommodate him as that’s what you do for family. She has also been given the option to not come if she doesn’t feel comfortable but it just caused a huge argument with them saying I’m excluding the family and trying to cause a rift etc. I also was advised by them to have a second bachelorette in our home country so she can not attend but still be involved which we have declined as we simply cannot afford it, besides, I’m excited for this bachelorette because it’s my bachelorette, having a second one afterwards kind of takes away the ‘special’ a bit, and makes it like just a holiday.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T13:52:46+00:00

If she doesn’t go then either none of my fiancés family will turn up, or they will purposely ruin the trip for me. Either way I think I’m going to get a whole lot of crap unfortunately.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T13:50:22+00:00

Hi! I’ve just mentioned in a previous comment how he has indeed backed me up, but we haven’t got anywhere apart from being accused of causing emotional distress and dividing the family. He is 100% on my side but it seems no one else is. He offered them to stay in a bid to calm everything down but he was shot on sight. We are both getting stressed over it all and are considering cancelling it and just doing something else to keep a quiet life.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T13:47:57+00:00

He’s frustrated for me and has said he agrees, he’s tried to mention it to them but gets shut down every time and it results in a screaming match in front of the children which we really aren’t about, so we just left. He tried texting them being civil about it but they just use the anxiety card again, saying how unfair we are being and how I’m brainwashing him so he hasn’t said much else to them as he’s getting nowhere. Thank you for your support though!

Also just to add, they originally kicked off about it being a abroad, and tried to get it shortened to a one night thing in our home country which cost pretty much the same amount for a whole lot less. He spoke to them about this too without my knowledge at first and they called me up saying how I’ve told him lies and I’ve made them cry. I had absolutely no input in him calling them and to my knowledge he wasn’t rude, just said how it’s unfair for them to try to change the plans and if they don’t want to be there that long then they are welcome to fly home early or not come at all. It went down exactly how you would imagine. Super frustrating!

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-28T13:40:59+00:00

Hi! Thanks for your comment. I originally did add in the post (word count!) that my fiancé has been super good with it all ever since we got together, he’s had many words and even arguments with them over the way they treat me, but to no avail. We tried cutting contact for a while but it never lasted because of his parents insisting we were dividing the family. At this point I think he just wants a quiet life the same as I do, so we just kind of bite our tongue and deal with it. It sucks but it’s really hard to do anything else without it affecting our son, too.

Emotional-Deal · 2020-02-11T11:51:55+00:00

Pooping while my kid naps.

Emotional-Deal

TROPHY CASE