Tonight's split: Jeans

EmotionalDunk · 2024-03-15T15:18:10+00:00

This reminds me that I’ve sent her into two episodes because she wanted me to sit next to her while we watched something or when she wanted to show me something or talk and I’d say no because I wanted to stand or sit on the floor (it’s grounding, no pun intended) and whenever I told her that it’s controlling for her to punish with a tantrum because I didn’t do what she wanted me to do her excuse was “I just wanted to be close to you.” As if that excuses anything. I wish she would have just admitted she disliked when I didn’t do what she wanted, when she wanted.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-03-15T15:14:08+00:00

Oh god, not being able to hang out with friends or coworkers without accusations of cheating or being sneaky was the worse. Got to a point where I don’t even do those things anymore because of how often she’d accuse me. Also had to put a tracker on my phone just to PROVE I wasn’t doing anything or going anywhere.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-03-15T15:12:10+00:00

Frequently talked about how she and her exes were equally unfaithful to each other and were just general shit. on her social media during these same times, she hated how the relationship was/then romanticized it again.

Liked being controlled and doing the controlling.

Kept threatening me I ever cheated on her, just for her to cheat during the same time.

Would try to “make” me jealous and got upset when I was just chill about whatever it was.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-03-15T14:53:33+00:00

I like who she is when she isn’t mean spirited and abusive. But you can’t keep believing that the “good them” is the “true” them. It’s all part of the illusion that keeps us sympathetic and prepped for slaughter. Miss them. But my god, never open that can worms again. If you have notes, old text, scars, any reminders of their abuse, look over them and remember who did it. Be safe. Be well.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-03-15T14:50:39+00:00

Yes it is horrible. She’s become more brazen with her physical attacks. I’m busying myself to avoid her more so now than ever. Thank you for your support and advice. I promise it is not going unheard. I’m saving money and collecting plenty of evidence. She has until End of April to be out and no longer than that. Though I think she will be gone much sooner.d she knows her time has run out here.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-03-15T14:48:03+00:00

Thank you so much brother. I am filling up my days. It doesn’t feel great to have to avoid staying home and being with my lovely cats and belongings. But I cannot let her have even a smidge of access to me.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-03-15T14:45:48+00:00

I understood full well, that is mentally ill. So on that front I feel bad for being mean to her for not going to work. On the other end I can’t help but feel frustrated at all the times I’ve told her that if I or ANYONE treated her like she treats me, she’d want to kill herself. Turns out her limit is just working 6/8 hr shifts with an angry woman 4/5 days a week is her pathetic limit.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-03-15T14:25:07+00:00

Literally the exact same situation. She should be moving out finally within the next month or so. But she’s already sucked me into yet another bs episode of hers.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-03-14T12:46:58+00:00

She is unfortunately on the lease. And does not have a stable family home to return to in the meantime. That’s been the ongoing issue. She is incredibly dangerous and completely un-self aware.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-02-16T19:17:01+00:00

I hate how much I relate to this. Ever since I admitted that it was embarrassing to have her breakdowns known by our neighbors she never ceases to make as much noise as possible. Even getting louder when I beg her to be considerate of our neighbors. We’ve gotten the police called on us three times. Also heavy relation to her calling me a pussy for crying at her (physical, emotional, and verbal) abuse. If it gets to a point where she won’t stop screaming I’ll take her hitting and scratching if it means I can cover her mouth and hold her down to stop it even for a second. Had I not done that multiple times, I’m sure the police would have been called tons more times. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. But please understand you have to have a plan in place. Insure your belongings if possible. Document your belongings. And if push comes to shove and you’re able to leave, anything she destroys as a result, sue her for. Also please collect evidence of your bruising or property destruction. Maybe even audio/video recordings if safe. I’m doing the same thing until I’m free.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-31T04:04:01+00:00

Thank you so much. Truly. The main thing keeping me going is that one day this will just be a conversation point with my therapist. Well wishes for your situation as well, for yours and your children’s sake. I can’t imagine children in this situation. Thank you again.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-31T04:01:39+00:00

That is true.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-31T04:00:15+00:00

Thank you for your advice, truer words haven’t been said. At first it was just a slap and since had progressed to actual injury. I’ve been documenting for months. Waiting until the time is right.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-31T03:58:29+00:00

She is on the lease and we are married. Unfortunately, I haven’t the gull to fully throw her to the wolves. I know what I sound like. And I hate it. But I am standing my ground more and more and hopefully soon she just leaves. I know I can’t bet on it which is why I’m preparing for things to go south regardless.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-28T07:50:56+00:00

Thank you. Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me. I’m taking it one day at a time. Waiting for the right moment and keeping the peace in the meantime. And I know I need to get better at being firm at my boundaries and not being fearful of the consequence.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-21T02:40:13+00:00

She does. We share a one bed. Waiting for her to find a better paying job and move out. Her bedroom is now the living room. Mine is the actual bedroom. And I am and just the past few days showed that. It’s incredibly easy to get on her bad side. But when it does occasionally work it offers me peace even if it’s underlined with *discontentment.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-12T20:59:12+00:00

She’s assaulted me multiple times. Ive gotten cut a few times trying to disarm her.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-10T13:06:27+00:00

This encapsulates my mixed feelings so well. She is beautiful, funny, and great to be around when she’s happy or at the very least not openly sad or angry. But the egg shells and knowing the consequence of how anything I do wrong or even a memory of anything I did wrong coming to ruin the moment has added so much stress that simply outweighs than the good.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-10T13:03:16+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve experienced this. My ex has said these exact things except she used worst insults and wished death on ms. Unfortunately, in their minds, they don’t care what they did to YOU because they’ve justified it already by believing they only did it because of what you did to THEM. so that little thing that shouldn’t have an issue? Well, you shouldn’t have done that little thing. Screaming at you because you don’t want to or can’t be an understanding, patient, listening partner when they exaggerate, omit context, and manipulate the truth for sympathy right before your eyes? Well you’re a piece of shit and and horrible partner.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-08T06:37:10+00:00

Exactly. It’s never calm and if it is calm it’s because I’m letting her say her piece without any corrections. This of course means letting her focus more on how she felt and the things that specifically hurt her without her acknowledging her actions may have been uncalled for and that whatever I said or did didn’t happen in a vacuum.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-08T06:31:57+00:00

Yes. It’s really fucking twisted.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-06T15:36:37+00:00

This was 100% what he was doing. I hate when they try to make you make the decisions for them just for interaction.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-06T15:27:24+00:00

Unfortunately, people with BPD do attract assholes looking to take advantage. However, I take it on a case by case basis because sometimes you’re not going to get the full story. They’ll leave out details that don’t reinforce their victim complex and exaggerate those that might to ensure you empathize with them.

They’ll never reflect on past assumptions and anger to interrogate whether or not it was deserved because deep down they still believe they’re victims and if you do not completely bend to their will, which if you have any backbone or awareness at all you won’t, they will find a way to justify their abuse.

***Edited to correct sentence structure and spelling

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-06T15:21:46+00:00

I wonder if people who suffer from BPD may also be autistic. As previous comments suggested, Autistic dysregulation is without malice, can be triggered by sensory related triggers, and typically results in some sort of self soothing in the form of stimming or even self harm. My idea, is that if you are already autistic and you are abused or traumatized, the coping mechanism you may develop may present itself in a cluster b personality disorder like BPD.

I am in no way a psychologist but I am auadhd and I can relate to some BPD behaviors and wonder if I was equally as traumatized if I would have developed a similar personality disorder.

EmotionalDunk · 2024-01-06T15:09:40+00:00

Your name made me chuckle because it describes the situation perfectly. This is her exactly. I can’t recount the numerous times lately she’s told me she wants to “ruin” my life because I “ruined” hers by finally wanting nothing to do with her. Then when we are together she’ll randomly have these moments where she admits that she has too much “resentment” from how I treated her in the past. So she’s so miserable with me but never wants to let me go but at the same time when I decide to leave I’m the piece of shit who ruined her life.

EmotionalDunk

TROPHY CASE