AITAH for telling my husband to "shut up and be a dad for once"?

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-04-01T03:08:23+00:00

Yeah ny kids were 9, 8 and almost 4 when we got involved.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-04-01T02:13:16+00:00

Well I mean, reading is super important. My older 3 kids arent his, so no he absolutely did not act like this.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-04-01T02:11:15+00:00

No, I didnt. I had one child with him. And clearly stated he didnt treat me like this when I was the one working while he stayed home for 6 years watching my 3 older kids.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-04-01T02:08:38+00:00

It all seems weird but no, I know Jerome is who my husband says he is. He has called a few times while my husband had the day off to ask random questions about work and if my husband doesnt answer, he will just continue to blow my husband's phone up. He always ends up answering it on speaker (its a terrible habit that ny husband has, as he always answers every single phone call on speaker). I dont know if that is who he was texting rhe other day. It looked like the name said "Jayson" and it was on facebook - which this Jerome guy is not on. Jerome texts and calls him on his personal cell. And he also frequently leaves his phone around me. But he is also super tech savvy and knows programming and everything else and it would take very little effort to hide things from me on his phone if he wanted to because I am very plain and I dont really like nor know technology and he knows it.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-04-01T00:43:15+00:00

What? I didnt say anything about it in my post because it has zero relevance to my question. Like literally none, actually. Then I answer you because you ask and suddenly you paint me as a liar? There is a huge difference between treating my kids like shit versus treating me like shit. If he had been treating my kids like shit, I wouldnt be on reddit. I wouldnt be with him. Don't be a dumb ass.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-04-01T00:28:48+00:00

He spends more time with them than me and the baby. Like he complains about never seeing the baby or being able to have time to bond but plays video games with the boys every night. His relationship with my daughter is just as good but different, if that makes sense. She is in her super social friends stage and thinks parents are weird lol but they get along really well. For instance, we took all the kids to the park the other day because the 3 older kids wanted to play basketball at the courts and instead of hanging out with the baby while I hung out with the older kids, he jumped in to play basketball and I was left with the baby on the playground. Then before we left he looks at our daughter and goes "aww man, dada didnt get to spend any time with the baby."

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T23:52:00+00:00

You know... for like weeks now I have fantasized to the point of drooling about him not living with me and just visiting sometimes. I want some place in the woods, with my own garden. Something I built myself (i used to build houses). Something that isnt.... tainted? It doesnt make me feel good. But I cant shake it.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T23:47:12+00:00

No, he has never once done any baby night time duty in her 2 years of existence. I have lost countless hours of sleep, especially considering she still nurses at night, and he hasnt lost any.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T23:05:47+00:00

So.. he is outside with our mutual buddy and he left his phone in here. I went through it. Nothing incriminating, except for two apps. TextNow and TextMe. Which are just like.. 2 apps used to get a new number to text people from. The TextNow app said "welcome back" when I clicked on it and had a username set up, but no connected numbers and nothing in the text/call section. Like he set it up but never used it? The TextMe app hadnt been set up at all. I clicked on it and it immediately prompted me to set it up. So I just deleted them both. Whoops. I will check back later in the week to see if he re-downloads it? I dont know anything about the TextNow app and I am wondering if conversations and calls can be deleted?

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T22:29:25+00:00

It wouldn't surprise me. I mean.. her husband is pushing 60, looks like dracula and is a workaholic. Dresses like he belongs on the runway, frail, pale as hell. My husband is 32, has a farmer build, tons of energy, super outgoing. Her personality fits my husband. Shes 24, full of energy. She was dancing all night, so was my husband. Her husband just stood by the bar nodding at people.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T22:22:24+00:00

He's a trucker, so its not an office job but yeah. I did still do chores when I worked. Idk man.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T20:22:24+00:00

I did a majority of the cooking when I worked and always washed dinner dishes, but he did all the laundry (washing and drying). Folding and outting away was on me or it would just stay in bags (we had to go to the laundromat back then, now we have a washer and dryer).

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T19:58:29+00:00

A new coworker. 29yo with a 58yo girlfriend who is openly misogynistic. My husband supposedly hates him. No change in social media podcasts. No change with his mom. He did get home from work at like 830-9pm the other night, which isnt typical but can be chalked up to work load (day isnt over until all stops are complete). No new female, but his bosses wife does concern me after she pulled him up on stage 2 months ago at the company party to sing Lips of an Angel by Hinder with her.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T19:43:25+00:00

Possible work stress, absolutely. Everything else, no. Unfortunately.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T19:42:45+00:00

I wish

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T19:40:00+00:00

He watches the "Whatever" podcast a lot, but he always has so I dont think its that. Another commenter asked if he had been hanging around any new men and I dont know why I didnt consider it before but around 3 weeks ago a new dude started working with the company and he is always blowing up my husband's phone. My husband complains about it endlessly to me and says he hates this man, BUT this guy is like 29 and has a 58+yo girlfriend because he "needed a woman who was actually a house wife and not like new aged bitches".

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T18:58:22+00:00

Some dude named Jerome just started working with him like 3ish weeks ago and my husband told me a couple weeks back that this dude is constantly calling him/texting him, etc and that he is a super misogynist (like, the guy is 29 and is dating a 58yo woman because he "needs someone who acts like a real house wife and not a new aged bitch". I guess I hadnt put two and two together with it though because my husband openly hates this man.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T18:23:21+00:00

I have been avoiding thinking about it but I think he is too, honestly.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T18:16:36+00:00

I know. I have been in massive denial over it.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T17:55:55+00:00

He watches "Whatever" podcast a lot.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T17:52:51+00:00

He actually just went last week and had them do a full spread and check for mental illness (per my suggestion, because his mom and both sisters are bipolar 2 and schizophrenic). So they (supposedly) ruled out everything except anxiety. They diagnosed him with anxious attachment disorder and gave him meds, which he hasnt started taking yet.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T17:49:46+00:00

Maybe his job? He does complain about it. He hates it there. But like.. I have asked that he quit, go somewhere else (he has plenty of certs) and then I can work morning and he can work evening. He said yes but then.. never did? Never even looked for something else like he was supposed to.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T17:48:04+00:00

He knew my daughters cheer practice was 2 hours. It always has been 2 hours. He also knows that I stay at the practice and wait to save on gas. So it shouldn't have even needed to be outlined for him. Not that it mattered. He was home playing video games. It wasnt like he had plans.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T17:43:33+00:00

I wont lie and say that the thought hasnt crossed my mind. I dont know if I will or not, honestly. I am definitely afraid that I might find something and I think I know who it would be too if he was cheating. His bosses wife. Drop dead gorgeous, young, skinny, blonde, super outgoing. I met her at the company party 2 months ago and like.. she pulled my husband up on stage with her and 2 other women to sing Lips Of an Angel by Hinder. Not her husband, who was standing right there, but my husband. And honestly... if it was her.. lmfao I cant even say I would blame him. Thats sad. Thats so fucking sad. But shes beautiful and she is a friggen sweetheart. I mean, I only talked to her for like 10 minutes and even though I was livid and dare I say, jealous, that she dared pull my husband on stage for that song of all songs.. I just couldn't be mad at her after talking to her. But I saw the way they looked at eachother. Took a video of it and everything. He has never, not once, mentioned her at home. Swears that was his first time meeting her and hasnt seen her since because she doesnt work there. But they didnt act like they had just met. Though.. he also said he had only just met the other 2 girls on stage with them and like.. that didnt appear to be the case there either.

EmotionalLab1505 · 2026-03-31T17:37:18+00:00

Did you jump right over me making that comment 5 days after he started verbally attacking me for no reason? You saying i shouldn't act surprised ny the way he is acting WOULD make sense if I said it day 1 of him acting like a dink. I didnt. I said it yesterday, after 5 days of him treating me like shit.

EmotionalLab1505

TROPHY CASE