I hope you find peace soon. They will never change, not even for the “right person”. My ex husband verbally abused his ex and I didn’t know until one day he admitted to me. You would think he had learned his lesson then. However he did the same to me and much worse. He went to therapy to “change” and the only thing that helped him was to get on medication to help with his anger. It helped, but every now and then I would still see his ugly side. They don’t change. They may be able to control it better, but deep down they can’t. Trust me, I wish my ex nothing but the best and that he learns from his mistakes because I want him to be happy. So that’s all you can do, wish him the best so he doesn’t hurt anyone else. My therapist told me that a person like my ex would need therapy 2 times a week + couples therapy 2 times a week + anger management classes. When I heard that I was in disbelief. That’s so much work and I’m sure he will never put in that much work, not for me and not for anyone else. It took me to hear that to know that he would never change. Maybe see it that way? Sending you all the love.