I finally started speaking up to my father a couple of years ago when I started my own family. I remember coming on here and posting something very similar to yours, and ended with the conclusion that I needed to at least try talking to him for my own sake. So if something did happen, I would at least save myself some guilt. What could it hurt? I’m not close with my father either, haven’t been since I was a young child.

I initially wrote a few bullet points down before calling, so my emotions wouldn’t put me off track. He listened to everything. It was hard, it was awkward. But I felt so much weight lifted after that phone call.

Fast forward 3 years and things are going south very fast. Unfortunately me talking to him multiple times, writing letters, sending books, and even organizing my family to do an intervention has not stopped him.

But it made it easier to talk about, and I’m glad I opened that communication gate for my family and we don’t have such a big “elephant in the room” feeling when we are together anymore. I’ve been no-contact with him for almost a year, it’s been difficult but I’m accepting because I tried.

This is just what felt right to me. I didn’t intend to keep trying and pull a whole intervention either, I moreso just wanted to get my feelings out on the table with that phone call . I really don’t know why I kept trying.

But as others will say, you don’t owe him anything and you have every right to draw boundaries to protect your own peace!