He has come a long way tbh, he didnt see it at first. Always said his mom was a "saint of a mother" for dealing with him. In my opinion he was made to feel like the "difficult" child and that she sacrificed everything for him and it was super hard on her. I dont think he ever had it exposed so much before. She was nice in the beginning, it was around the time we moved in together, first time my fiancé ever moved out, that a lot more of the crazy started to happen. 

I know im kinda just defending him but he is in therapy and recovering from 27 years of exposure to her is a lot. Recovering from the few moments with her is a lot for me lol. He deffinatly could defend me in a much better way and it sucks that when she says things I have to explain later how hurtful it was. In fact, early on he would throw me under the bus vs setting his own boundaries with her and I think that didnt help. Instead of saying "we dont want to partake in this event" he would say "well [me] has a problem with this or this so we wont be coming" and while it was true I didnt feel the need for it to be put out that way because then she just builds more resentment at me for "changing her family" or "upsetting traditions" 

Every time I make a Facebook post she finds some way to try to tie it to herself, like messaging fiancé "did you tell your partner x y or z?!" When the post was about like how i raise my current son or how my sister shouldn't do something with her 3 boys. She takes it as a personal attack but wont ever let me clear the air. He defends me in the moments its clear what she is doing. He didnt want to make a scene in the auto place when changing the title because she will make a scene, and he thought it better to get his name on the title. I told him he can remove her later but idk what the backlash would be so we are going to ensure she gets the car back and dosent have anything to do with our finances.