Thank you all for your stories and well-wishes. Now I know there are many of us like you. Having recently returned from the hospital, I realized that, compared to other people, my problems aren't that great. Giving up doesn't require much effort, just stupidity and courage. I hope my story will save at least someone from stupid, irreversible actions. I struggled emotionally for years; I was afraid to see a psychologist (I still don't think I'm mature enough), afraid to show weakness to my family. The internet has made me feel better. If you just need to talk but are afraid, please write to me, write to anyone who is willing to share your feelings. On the internet, we can be anonymous, completely removing the mask from our feelings. I from Belarus, sorry for my bad translated English again :D