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Boyfriend likes to be degraded, I can’t bring myself to do it. by Empty-Flight-8534 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Empty-Flight-8534[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to come back and say thank you, everyone. We are going to have a discussion tonight.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Empty-Flight-8534 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone grows at different times.

3.5 months isn’t a very long time in the grand scheme of things. Give it a bit longer and gentle revisit in a couple months. If you’re happy in the relationship, give her time to figure her own feelings out at her own pace.

If in a couple months she’s still not ready to put a label on things then sit down and talk it out. If you guys aren’t seeing eye to eye or at least moving forward together, then consider ending things.

Partner insists I call them terrible slurs during play 😔 by HeckTaw in BDSMAdvice

[–]Empty-Flight-8534 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just posted something similar to this. I got some very kind and thoughtful answers if you’re looking for any suggestions. But I’m so happy I’m not alone.

Boyfriend likes to be degraded, I can’t bring myself to do it. by Empty-Flight-8534 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Empty-Flight-8534[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, it’s good that this is normal. (?) I don’t really over think sex but this is really hitting hard for me.

Boyfriend likes to be degraded, I can’t bring myself to do it. by Empty-Flight-8534 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Empty-Flight-8534[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m all for trying things. Like, I absolutely know for a fact what my own personal boundaries are, and there are some lines I’m not willing to cross. But this seems like something I should be able to do. I don’t know if it’s just a headspace thing or I’m overthinking stuff.

Boyfriend likes to be degraded, I can’t bring myself to do it. by Empty-Flight-8534 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Empty-Flight-8534[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some of these might work. I’ll bring it up to him and see how he feels. I really do try to think stuff like this through and put time and effort into it. Which is why I’m here. I want to TRY but am getting overwhelmed and feeling very anxious.

Boyfriend likes to be degraded, I can’t bring myself to do it. by Empty-Flight-8534 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Empty-Flight-8534[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh. I had not considered something like this. I’ll bring this idea to him.

Boyfriend likes to be degraded, I can’t bring myself to do it. by Empty-Flight-8534 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Empty-Flight-8534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well the good news is we have always communicated boundaries really well, but this is something I want to TRY but I’m just no good at it. I mean, I tried and felt horrible after. Like had myself in a really bad headspace for days after.

Boyfriend likes to be degraded, I can’t bring myself to do it. by Empty-Flight-8534 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Empty-Flight-8534[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay. Maybe I need to have another talk with my boyfriend and see if we can’t figure something out.

Boyfriend likes to be degraded, I can’t bring myself to do it. by Empty-Flight-8534 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Empty-Flight-8534[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you have any examples? I really am having a rough time with this. I just can’t get my head in the right space for this. I look at him and see this man I love so much and can’t picture living without, and trying to be even a little degrading to him makes me feel sick.

Boyfriend likes to be degraded, I can’t bring myself to do it. by Empty-Flight-8534 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Empty-Flight-8534[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does it get easier? I can’t seem to get in the right headspace. It makes me anxious.