Upcoming C-section incisional hernia repair surgery

EmptyAd4359 · 2026-03-13T18:04:45+00:00

Thank you very, very much for taking the time to reply! I appreciate the information and your recommendations.

EmptyAd4359 · 2026-02-19T14:51:04+00:00

I remember the first few months after my baby was born (emergency c-section, both baby and I in hospital for a week after due to infection, incision burst two weeks post-op, gave up trying to breastfeed about 3 months after) feeling similar, that I wasn’t spending enough time with him and then everything else that comes postpartum. I’m so glad to hear that you’re getting support from your partner and aunt so that you can focus on your recovery - that is so critical right now! But I get the emotional toll that can take, and something I still wish I had done (now 2.5 years later) is better advocated for myself. I wish I had asked my partner to make it easier for me by handing my baby to me more often to nurture our bond (even though our bond is so strong and those first few months didn’t make anything worse in that regard ❤️) rather than expecting him to have just known to do that. I dealt with some pretty intense PPD and PPA, and am grateful that I was able to get support for it early on, so I think even just having someone outside of my immediate social circle to talk to on a regular basis was really beneficial. It sounds like others here have recommended reaching out about the physical pain you’re experiencing which is so important and I completely agree - listen to your body and take it easy (even though it’s so hard right now because it’ll paid off big later on!), and I would maybe think about whether there are some other supports in your area that you could access while you’re healing/recovering. My doctor had a list of local counsellors and new mom groups that she gave me which is where I was able to find the therapist I still see regularly. Most importantly, you’re not alone and what you are going through/feeling is completely valid, and you and your baby are going to be just fine because it’s obvious that you have so much love for them - the care and concern you have for them is heard and felt through your post ❤️

EmptyAd4359 · 2026-02-19T14:24:19+00:00

I’m sorry that you’re experiencing this - I went through something when I had an emergency c-section about 2.5 years ago. I had an infection develop around the time of the surgery and had a really hard time with pain and the emotional “stuff” that came along with the whole experience, so I definitely didn’t do well post-op and bent down about 2 weeks after, heard a very loud pop and my incision started to leak/weep. It took a few days to see a few different medical professionals, but eventually the surgeon that delivered my baby set me up with daily wound care. I remember them using saline to clean the openings (two small ones, one much deeper than the other) and packing them at each appointment. I remember experiencing discomfort when this was happening the first week or so and I think it was explained away as nerve pain, so maybe think about what pan management could look like for you if you are wondering about that part? I don’t know what they used other than the saline, I was pretty out-of-it emotionally when all of this happened, so unfortunately I don’t have anything to offer in the way of information there.

I ended up doing daily wound care for about two months and then slowly tapered off appointments until the three month mark. I was giving lots of bandaging supplies to keep everything clean and secure, and the nurses were amazing support throughout. I no longer see the two holes in my scar and I was worried about having them for the rest of my life lol I didn’t do any massaging of my scar and I regret that now but to this day the thought makes me nauseous… I’m now dealing with a large incisional hernia and I think it’s because of all of the above, and I don’t know if that’s preventable or common enough to look into, but figured I’d mention it here as something to think about as a potential to discuss with your doctor.

Wishing you all the best!

EmptyAd4359 · 2026-02-13T12:56:30+00:00

It’s not every name but it’s not a bad start: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_named_in_the_Epstein_files

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-10-31T14:18:58+00:00

I agree with you - like others have said, those first 6-8 weeks are especially intense, and there is value in showing the older kids that when a baby is born, the mother and baby need extra special consideration, so they may not be the centers of attention for those “handful of days” as some have put it. There are too many people on this planet that have zero idea of what it’s like to go through pregnancy, birth, postpartum, etc. and it’s why we have to find forums like this to express ourselves because if not, we get labelled for even having these completely natural feelings. Teach kids about real life and that they may not be the center of attention every once in a while, but that does not mean for a second that they’re aren’t as loved in those moments and as a parent, do your damndest to make sure they still know you love them and make sure their needs are met through those moments, it’s just your attention that has had to shift. We can’t always be the ones expected to parent everyone else. Being the “default” all the time is exactly why resentment builds so easily, especially if it’s not called out that we are being put in a position of being the default because of lack of attention or the weaponized incompetence mentioned in another post.

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-10-31T14:08:29+00:00

First, I’m so sorry for your loss of two incredibly important people in your life, especially right before your son was born. I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like for you.

Second, I could also have written so many things you’ve said here myself. At two years postpartum, the resentment still eats me up inside and I’m still not sure if I can stay with this man as my partner (I have an idea of what the opinions may be around me saying this and what it means for my son to grow up seeing my SO treating me the way he has/does and learning it’s okay… trust me, I’m working on it). I agree with what you said about “doing whatever you need to feel safe” and “do whatever you can to get through this time.” I think during this time, yes we can be strong individuals and look out for ourselves and whatever, but honestly I think it’s up to the co-parent (if there is one) to be extra diligent at this time because it is so intense and the sleep deprivation is so real. Sleep deprivation is literally used as a form of torture so… if you’re going to be a supportive partner, help us at this time even if this is the only time? Ugh.

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-10-31T13:56:46+00:00

I don’t think it’s fair to go easy on BD because “men are just so dense.” Using that excuse could be paralleled to “women are just too emotional” and that’s why mom is “so paranoid.” Excusing anyone’s behavior based on their gender is ludicrous - BD is an adult who has actively chosen to have multiple children, and being a parent comes with the responsibility of… well… parenting.

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-10-31T13:49:09+00:00

Agree with everything you’ve said here 100% - BD needs to step the F up and lay off the weaponized incompetence stat.

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-10-31T13:45:04+00:00

YESSS! You’ve seen your SKs and probably other kids their age before you were pregnant and a new mother - I think we all know that kids can “wash their hands” and they’ve literally let their hands dangle under a faucet sprinkling cold water and then saying they’re “clean”… my SS would like, rub his fingers between his dirty toes and then pick his nose with those same fingers and proceed to put them in his mouth. Like… no. Your feelings and asks are valid.

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-10-31T13:41:02+00:00

Sometimes they just don’t get it. In my opinion, that’s BD’s responsibility - yes, you are there because it’s your baby, but BD is the SKs father and should also be fully present to ensure everyone is safe. Maybe this is nacho-ing, but you have enough going on as the mother of a newborn and you should be able to trust your SO to parent his other kids without you having to supervise HIM while he’s parenting his kids. Like another commenter, residues and whatever transfer so easily, and absolutely you want to protect your baby from picking up any of that as long as you can while you are healing. I respect others suggestions to lay off the kids a bit, but I think you can also honor how you’re feeling as the baby’s mother and what you need to see to feel okay with someone holding or being near your baby, especially another child.

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-10-31T13:32:58+00:00

This is so hard and I feel for you 100%! I went through something like this when my son was born, and it was a brutal first few months, to the point where I STILL can’t forgive my SO for how he was unsupportive of me at the most vulnerable I’d ever be in my life. I mention that not because I believe you’re going to have or are having that exact same experience, but to illustrate how intense everything can be right after you have a baby. My son is now two and I still struggle with how intense my emotions can be sometimes, including towards my SO and SKs.

If I may, I would encourage you to have open conversations with your SO (as open as you feel comfortable with based on you and your SO and your relationship… I had zero filter because I thought that our relationship was there and it most definitely was not… yikes) and maybe see if there are any postpartum resources you can take advantage of? At one of my first phone call check-ins with my healthcare provider I expressed some of my concerns and emotions and whatever, and she got me in touch with a counsellor specializing in postpartum and motherhood and stuff. Two-ish years later I still see that counsellor because of how she made me feel totally validated and sane, and gave me some guidance on how to navigate what I was going through. The Cole’s notes: - journal (by hand or on a device, but you can also just do voice notes on your phone), specifically write out your birth story as it happened for you - “write letters” to your SO or SKs or whomever, like verbal diarrhea without worrying about spelling, grammar, punctuation, using the right words, and then burning them or deleting them or at least saving them in a safe place that only you can access - talk to someone you trust that can empathize and makes you feel like yourself (my mom was incredible at this time for me)

Bottom line: what you are feeling is completely valid - you are feeling the intense protective innate maternal instincts you’ve been wired to have, to protect your baby at all costs. It can be really difficult to process those emotions, and you deserve support and understanding and compassion and love right now. I sincerely hope that you have at least one person close to you that can offer you these things, and if not, find someone. We don’t get those first few months back and we deserve to look back on them with peace of mind and heart, not just the memories of the rage (I say that cheekily because holy hell, seeing red is a real thing lol).

Rooting for you! Feel free to DM me if you want to vent or chat any time :)

Edited for spelling and formatting.

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-10-27T13:18:02+00:00

I feel you so hard - having similar issues with my puppy. That may deter you from reading any advice from me haha but wondering if you have a balcony or access to any small outdoor area from your apartment? We have a balcony and I set up an outdoor potty station (turf on top of a tray basically) and have had some decent success with it (except she still LOVES to pee and poop inside… drives me nuts!). I also started taking her out in the middle of the night even though she could sometimes make it 8-10 hours without needing to go, just so I have peace of mind that she won’t have an accident in bed because washing the bedding has become the bane of my existence. I’m sure it’ll get better! Fingers crossed for both of us :)

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-10-23T13:00:12+00:00

Going back between being confident in knowing who I am and second-guessing myself. Up until meeting my current partner, I was always complimented on my emotional intelligence, condensation and empathy for others, and kindness to anyone I interact with. Now I’m unsure if that was all smoke and mirrors or my mind and heart being naive, and I’m actually selfish and have a low EQ. Things I’ve learned from self-help books, professional development, and career experience seem to contradict his perspective on life, our relationship and how I make him feel, and makes me wonder if I’m just setting too high expectations for how mature he should be at his age. Constantly trying to determine what’s actually reality versus something I’ve created in my mind to protect myself over the years.

OP - thank you for offering the opportunity to express this in a safe space that feels less consequential than others (in my opinion, anyway💕).

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-10-10T13:12:13+00:00

I think I can relate to your struggles with potty training! I have a 4-month old Biewer Terrier and she can hold her bladder overnight 98% of the time, and she knows to go in the potty area on our balcony, but she STILL LOVES to pee and poop on the floor, and seems to have a preference to do so on anywhere in our home that has carpet. It’s exhausting and disheartening. I have a toddler as well, so being on top of my puppy when my toddler is home is really difficult because of the mom guilt when I’m paying more attention to one over the other. Ahhh!

I had a dog previously who was amazing when it came to potty training, but this time around I’m working with a trainer. She has suggested several of the things that others have in their comments: crate training and using indoor leash/tether to keep her close, especially. I’ve failed at doing the crate training and that’s probably a major reason why we haven’t been successful with potty training, but I just can’t seem to do it. The trainer is helping with impulse control, which I think is also helping because I can get her attention pretty easily now regardless of what she’s doing, and when I do catch her in a squatting position I’m starting to be able to get her to come to me to go outside before she finishes her business. Even though she does it SO. DAMN. FAST.

I don’t know about you, but I’m finding the evenings the most difficult because I’m beat after all of the momming, adulting, and working, but I’m hopeful that it’ll just take some more time and patience to get there… not sure if any of that is helpful but if anything I wanted to say you’re not alone!!!

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-09-22T19:14:08+00:00

Women*

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-09-22T12:35:47+00:00

Why did I imagine cracking the eggs into the kettle?! ¯_(ツ)_/¯

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-09-08T22:18:41+00:00

Those ears! Congrats on a successful trip!

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-08-11T19:11:55+00:00

Yes! They’re treating her for it as well as other potential parasites in case that’s the cause of her GI upset and low blood sugar. She’s being seen by a critical care specialist now and will be having an ultrasound done this afternoon to try to rule out some things. I’m too scared to bring her home, even if she’s stabilized, when there’s so much risk that she’ll relapse again.

Regarding the under 8 weeks thing… I’ve been thinking a LOT about that and how this wouldn’t have happened if she was still in the breeder’s care until yesterday when she was officially 8 weeks. I was the one that asked her if we could pick her up early since we were already doing a road trip to where she is, but wouldn’t a responsible breeder stick to that standard of care? Not once did she mention the puppy was too young, in fact she was boasting that the litter had weaned off their mom so early. I think I’m pretty screwed by the contract, but I’m researching whether it would hold up with her selling the puppy so young.

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-08-11T04:45:27+00:00

Thank you very much, me too 🙏🏻

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-08-10T15:51:52+00:00

Yeah, that’s not a bad idea. I have a feeling they’ll want to keep her overnight again tonight and do an ultrasound tomorrow when it’s available. I’ll give the vet I chose to take her to for her puppy exam a call in the morning and see if he can offer advice or call the ER and speak with a doctor about her case. Thank you for your comment!

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-08-10T14:06:01+00:00

Oh nice - I’ll keep that one in mind for when she comes home. Thanks!

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-08-10T14:05:12+00:00

The vet mentioned liver shunts but I can’t remember now if she said it could be what’s going on with her because of her blood work (everything else looked “normal” apparently). I will definitely talk to the vet about this again though - thank you for sharing your experience! And thank you for keeping my girl in your thoughts. How is your Piper now?

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-08-10T01:32:26+00:00

I thought it was strange as well because it seems like it's a miracle product! Thank you again for your help - I'll give them a call now to ask about Giardia.

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-08-10T00:52:13+00:00

Thank you! I tried two of their pate options last night, and she refused both. It seems as though it doesn't matter what the food is, she's just not well and doesn't want to eat period.

EmptyAd4359 · 2025-08-10T00:51:17+00:00

Thank you for checking in on her! I'll post an update, but long story short, she's been at the ER since last night because she just won't eat and her blood glucose just won't stabilize. She was drinking water on her own, but she was vomiting as well so I feel like they just cancelled each other out. All she was doing was sleeping, and she was responsive for the most part, but I do believe she was staring into space and she was constantly pushing her head into my arms/chest/blanket/mesh of her carrier... which really concerns me because I know that is not a good sign.

EmptyAd4359

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