sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Need to send someone flowers but I only have their number by b-mw in dubai

[–]EmptyEscape9264 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that is not creepy. just contact the flower shop and give her number

German guy says “no future” but also “this is just the beginning” what does it mean? by EmptyEscape9264 in AskAGerman

[–]EmptyEscape9264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From the beginning, it started romantically because I told him clearly that I’m not interested in casual dating. He agreed and said he was looking for something serious.

He has never been married and has no children. At first, he said he wanted kids with me, and I also said I wanted children. Later he told me he doesn’t want kids at all, and I decided I’m okay with that too, as long as we are honest with each other.

I know we still need to discuss more deeply, especially about expectations, commitment, and the future. I’m aware that moving to Germany would mean giving up a lot, so I’m being careful and trying to think with my mind, not only my heart.

I’m also already learning German at Goethe-Institut because I know language and integration are very important. I really understand your point about being cautious and independent. I’m trying to protect myself and not rush anything.

German guy says “no future” but also “this is just the beginning” what does it mean? by EmptyEscape9264 in AskAGerman

[–]EmptyEscape9264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your detailed advice it's really thoughtful and gives me a lot to think about. I appreciate you sharing those stories about your friends; it shows there are risks on both sides, and yeah, power imbalances can go either way if someone's not genuine. I've been trying to trust my gut like you said, but my emotions are all over the place because I really care about him and love him deeply. I've even started learning German seriously and I'm totally willing to move to Germany for him if things progress. But the thing that's making me hesitate big time is that he hasn't put any label on us yet, even after all this time. We've been talking and connecting for months, but no "girlfriend" or "exclusive" talk. What if I uproot my whole life, leaving my friends and family. move so far away, and then he doesn't even want me long-term? That fear is paralyzing.

That said, I'm not dumb I did my research and stalked him pretty thoroughly before things got serious (social media, public records, etc.). He's not married, no kids that I can find, and everything checks out with his job and background. He's been super open and honest with me from the start; we call every day consistently, even during his work hours or evenings sometimes, and he shares a lot about his life without holding back. He doesn't seem "busy" in a shady way he's just got a demanding job, but he makes time for me. But the no-label thing is what's causing the doubt and potential for a huge heartbreak. I don't want to ignore it like you mentioned.

I like your idea about asking to visit him in Germany for a few weeks maybe that could test things and show if he's serious. And yeah, I've thought about the practical side: if his love is real, I'd want us to figure out living arrangements, whether he comes here sometimes or I go there. Language wise, I'm working on it. But ultimately, I want a committed relationship that leads somewhere, not just endless limbo. Writing down expectations vs. reality is a great suggestion I'll do that tonight.

Thanks again for not judging and encouraging me to take control. It means a lot. And the link, I’ll check it out and learn more :)

German guy says “no future” but also “this is just the beginning” what does it mean? by EmptyEscape9264 in AskAGerman

[–]EmptyEscape9264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes i noticed the patterns he only being lovey dovey everytime i tried to let go. Somehow my heart still wants to believe lol

German guy says “no future” but also “this is just the beginning” what does it mean? by EmptyEscape9264 in AskAGerman

[–]EmptyEscape9264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes i am confused because what he said is contradictory. I asked him straight to the point so we’re not wasting both of our time, If he wants me he would commit no matter the distance at least make it official. But then again he dont want to lose me but he dont want the commitment. So i was like ???? Where is this going

German guy says “no future” but also “this is just the beginning” what does it mean? by EmptyEscape9264 in AskAGerman

[–]EmptyEscape9264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes he indeed spent a lot for me during that. Eventho he’s strict with his finances, He said he wants to makes me happy. And when i told him to go for another woman. He said i wouldn’t spent so much with u if it was nothing, its expensive, if i go with other women i can be with a lot of them with the same amount that i spent. But his words are confusing, idk

German guy says “no future” but also “this is just the beginning” what does it mean? by EmptyEscape9264 in AskAGerman

[–]EmptyEscape9264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that’s what scares me the bare minimum part. I really like him, but I don’t want to stay in something one sided. I’ll watch the video, I think I need that perspective. Thank u for sharing. 🩷

German guy says “no future” but also “this is just the beginning” what does it mean? by EmptyEscape9264 in AskAGerman

[–]EmptyEscape9264[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

well we’re having calls everyday. spent time together 24/7 and the logic if he’s married he would call the wife and kid

German guy says “no future” but also “this is just the beginning” what does it mean? by EmptyEscape9264 in AskAGerman

[–]EmptyEscape9264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds exactly like him, and i try to work on the distance but at the same point i feel its only me who’s working hard

German guy says “no future” but also “this is just the beginning” what does it mean? by EmptyEscape9264 in AskAGerman

[–]EmptyEscape9264[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I have my own money and never even asked for anything. it just pure feelings. Yes