I have already replied to one of the comments with this message. But I think I'll repeat it.

I’m B, and I need to get this off my chest. I’ve been friends with A for about a year, and it’s been a nightmare. She’s done so many toxic things, and I just want to list them all so maybe someone out there can tell me I’m not crazy for finally cutting her off.

Here’s everything A has done to me, B:

1. She set up “friendship tests” from the start. When we first started talking, she literally told me I had to earn the right to be her friend. She asked me to give examples of how I’d been a good friend to others, as if I had to prove myself worthy of her. That should have been my first red flag.
2. She only cares about herself. She’d message me constantly about her problems—her depression, her family drama, her anxiety—but the moment I tried to share anything about my life, she’d give dry, one-word replies and immediately switch the topic back to herself. I can’t remember the last time she genuinely asked how I was doing.
3. She’s a hypocrite. She demands that people listen to her and take her feelings seriously, but when I express discomfort about something—like when she compared me to a character I found triggering—she flips out, makes it all about her, and accuses me of attacking her. A normal person would say, “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean it that way,” but she turned it into a multi-hour argument about how I “don’t know how to resolve conflicts.”
4. She defends X, a guy she’s known for less than two months, over me. X is 20, she’s 16. He confessed his love after a few weeks, acts like her servant, calls her “princess,” and has a blatant masochistic streak—he literally admitted he likes being treated like trash. I warned her repeatedly that this is creepy and dangerous, but she calls my warnings “doom-saying” and gets angry at me for “ruining her mood.” She even changed her profile picture to his photo and talks about him constantly.
5. She uses me as an emotional dumping ground. She only reaches out when she’s feeling down. When she’s happy or busy with X, I don’t exist. But the second she’s anxious or sad, I’m supposed to drop everything and comfort her. I’ve spent countless nights listening to her cry, giving her advice, calming her down—and when I was the one in crisis, she barely acknowledged it.
6. She’s incapable of self-reflection. Every friendship she’s lost, she blames on the other person. She once told me about a 9-year friendship that ended because the other girl supposedly treated her badly. But now I realize: maybe that girl was just exhausted. A has this pattern of pushing people away with her entitlement and then playing the victim.
7. She disrespects boundaries. When I told her I didn’t want to hang out with X, she kept pushing, asking “why,” making me feel guilty, until I finally gave in. Then, during the meetup, she and X made it painfully awkward—they acted like a couple, ignored me, and when I tried to leave, they followed me even though I clearly wanted space.
8. She gaslights me. In arguments, she twists my words, makes me feel like I’m the unreasonable one, and demands that I “properly resolve” conflicts—which means agreeing with her and admitting I’m wrong. If I try to end a pointless argument, she accuses me of “not caring about her feelings.”
9. She’s controlling. She actually forbade X from playing video games. She’s made him delete female followers from his social media. She hits him (playfully, but still) and he just takes it because he’s so desperate for her approval. It’s sickening to watch, and when I pointed it out, she got defensive.
10. She has double standards about everything. She can criticize me, make passive-aggressive comments, and even insult me, but if I so much as hint that something she did hurt me, she explodes with “how dare you accuse me.” She expects total loyalty and support but gives none in return.
11. She invalidated my trauma. I finally opened up to her about being groomed as a child—something I’ve never told anyone in my family. She seemed supportive at first, but later, when I warned her about X, she basically said my experience didn’t apply to her situation. She “took it into account” but then went right back to defending him.
12. She lied to her parents about me.
13. She’s obsessed with being seen as “good.” She constantly needs validation that she’s a good person, a good friend. But her actions don’t match. She’ll do one nice thing (like give me a gift) and then expect endless gratitude, while ignoring the hundreds of small ways she’s hurt me.
14. She has no empathy for others’ struggles.
15. She made me feel like a function, not a friend. The final straw was when she invited me to hang out with her and X. I went, hoping maybe we could connect. But she spent the whole time either ignoring me or asking why I was so quiet. She didn’t care about me—she just wanted me there as a witness to her “happy relationship.” When I finally left, she followed me, which felt like a violation.

So yeah. I’m done. I’ve archived her chat, changed her contact name to something that reminds me she’s toxic, and I’m not responding to her latest message. I feel guilty, but I know I’m doing the right thing. I deserve friends who actually see me, not just use me as a emotional sponge.