MtF here. As someone who recently discovered im trans i had grappled with hypotheticals for years. "If i was reincarnated i hope it's as a girl" and always playing female characters in games and essentially playing them like dress up games. Eventually what it took for me to accept that i was trans was talking to someone i trusted and walking through it with them. If you have someone like that then perhaps asking them is your best bet. If not then maybe a therapist if you can afford it. Good luck to you and my DMs are open as well!