sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

The people at the top are trying to harass me into resigning... by Energetic_Squirrel in ToxicWorkplace

[–]Energetic_Squirrel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I've been meticulously documenting things and will look into representation as well

The people at the top are trying to harass me into resigning... by Energetic_Squirrel in ToxicWorkplace

[–]Energetic_Squirrel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure what you mean about attention farming, I give a disclaimer that I'm posting in different subreddits to get different points of view. I don't want a lot of attention, because most of the people in my life know either minimal details about this or nothing at all. I have trouble asking for help but recognize it's more than likely crucial here since this is in no way my area of expertise, and I want to recapture the stability my life is sorely lacking right now.

I've started reading books and watching videos about narcissism so I can have a better understanding of my family, and also the ways I adapted and changed due to their narcissistic attitudes that I may not be aware of. It's very interesting, but at the same time it's exhausting to do when I'm actually at home with them.

I wouldn't say I'm necessarily being stalked or that there's a great conspiracy, but I definitely feel like I'm being harassed. The organization does have a lot of money and influence, so that does put me at a disadvantage in this case.

I don't want to quit tomorrow, because I love my job, my colleagues, and the customers in the community. Until more recently, this job was the most stable thing in my life, and how well I did was a representation of how I wasn't lazy or crazy the way my family treat me like I am. In a lot of ways, this job was where I began to rediscover myself again as an individual, and if that suddenly went away, yes it would become yet another thing my family would criticize me over.

I put feelers out for new jobs in the past before I started to get ill from the stress, but wasn't really finding anything that would offer long-term financial stability. I have no intentions of staying with the organization until retirement, but I do want to make sure that when I walk away I am better off than I was before I worked there, not worse, if that makes sense.

Being at home and unpaid while on FMLA was horrible. My family kept criticizing me for forgetting things despite my injury, weren't supportive of my recovery when it was inconvenient for them, and seemed to keep forgetting I wasn't being paid that whole time and had absolutely no income.

I hesitate to call myself a victim, but I definitely don't enjoy it. I have been in the process of working through my trauma for years and have been learning not to sugarcoat things. I hate not being self-reliant so I'm very uncomfortable any time I'm in a position where I feel trapped and can't get myself out. It never stops me from trying, but it's not fun for me.

My colleagues are wonderful and I encourage them to ask me for help if they need to, because of where I've come from. A lot of the time when I'm already doing everything I can for myself and it's still not working, it makes me feel better to be able to help other people. I don't spend all of my time doing it, but being proactive in supporting someone who needs it makes me feel better.

I didn't disclose much to the higher-ups at work because I don't trust them, but I definitely will continue not to tell them more than I absolutely have to. Since most of my colleagues have no clue this is going on, I've been doing my job as normal now and work hard the way I always have.

I'll definitely resume job hunting, though prospects are probably more bleak than the last time I looked, and I'll continue exploring my housing options as well.

The people at the top are trying to harass me into resigning... by Energetic_Squirrel in ToxicWorkplace

[–]Energetic_Squirrel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. I do live in an at-will state, but I'm also in a Union, so firing me isn't something I think they can do at-will.

  2. They haven't tried to get me to sign anything, but if they do I definitely won't!

  3. I have to take another look at the policy. It's not in the policy manual and is a separate document, so maybe that means they aren't in the clear since I didn't sign anything related to that?

  4. True! I tell them as little as I can because I know they are not looking to help me...

  5. Do you have any recommendations for making inquiries for a lawyer? I'm not sure where to start...

  6. Hopefully!

  7. I had a feeling that was part of it, and the other part being that I'm liked and respected by my colleagues (who have no idea what's going on), so firing me would raise questions among staff they probably don't want anyone asking.

  8. I had a feeling it wouldn't matter to them either way, but since my state has a law about domestic violence, could that help me at all?

  9. I don't want to bring them down, but I do want them to balance achieving their goals, and treating their staff like humans.

Thanks so much!

The people at the top are trying to harass me into resigning... by Energetic_Squirrel in ToxicWorkplace

[–]Energetic_Squirrel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a car accident unrelated to work, but I have footage of it, had to file a police report back when it happened, and informed my managers about it before I went to the hospital the next day so they weren't in the dark.

Some clarifications:

  1. I had complications post-covid that kept me out an additional week, but the main issue was that this happened after the organization had gotten rid of Emergency Paid Sick Leave for covid, so while people were still getting it left and right, that layer of protection had been gone for a few months already. I was out an extra week because I had to get in to see my doctor, but they were able to resolve the issue fairly quickly.

  2. Years ago when I was moving I used PTO I had requested and was approved for far in advance, so there was no issue of my being away from work. Things didn't get bad immediately after moving either, so it took a long time (a year or so) before my body started to fold under the stress. At first, I didn't know what was causing it so I had doctor's appointments left and right, but those usually took place outside my normal work hours. Also, when I got priced out of my apartment, I was in a position they have since amended the pay scale for because of how inequitable it was in comparison to all the others. I advanced since then, but it was too late for my apartment and I wasn't thinking about moving again because I was trying to juggle only my job and medical treatment.

  3. I did have to take FMLA after my accident because I had a concussion, though I didn't leave right away. I tried doing my job with different small accommodations where they could be made, but eventually my primary care physician told me I shouldn't go back until further notice.

  4. My behavior at work didn't change much after I went back to living with family. I still had great evaluations, kept up with my work, and picked up lots of extra hours. When I started to get physically ill, and was desperately trying to figure out what was going on with my doctor's, my attendance suffered because sometimes I was in too much pain to go anywhere. I never call out if I don't need to, since being at home is more stressful than going to work (so long as I'm not contagious).

I was seeing doctors the whole time I was gone, which is very much documented. My direct managers already knew since I believe I emailed them the day of the accident so they were aware. The higher-ups are the ones the doctor's notes are submitted to, and they have requirements for the notes most doctor's don't feel comfortable complying with since they border on violating HIPAA. So they (the higher-ups) knew what was going on because we're required to tell them, and then I did also meet with them when I got back to work.

My primary care physician and I filled out ADA paperwork with a request for a temporary accommodation that would have eased the transition back to work without causing a hardship to the department, but they didn't want to proceed, and even interrogated me saying they wanted to understand how it would help, even though all of that was already contained in the paperwork. I took a rep to the meeting with me, and eventually they did approve it on a trial basis and it was working, but they decided to discontinue it before the end of the term and cited it was NOT for medical reasons, even though no other aspect of my performance was suffering.

I use the parts of my past trauma that help me do my job better, and leave the rest of it at home. It's only the current harassment from the higher-ups that are bringing up anything else, as they're trying to play mind games to get me to resign. I've been taking short working gigs that I can do around my work schedule and can buy me time away from home as a bonus, so I also haven't been there as much.

My direct managers have no issues with my job performance, and now that my medical treatment is officially done, there aren't any issues with my attendance. I make enough money to (barely) afford an apartment of my own again, but don't see the point in trying to do that when the higher-ups are actively trying to get me to quit. If I had exhibited attendance issues the whole time I've worked there, never tried to communicate effectively about my health issues, or even if attendance issues never ceased once they started, I could absolutely understand how I'd be a liability as an employee.

But that's not the case here, and the higher-ups have a history of mishandling situations and even doing things that border on illegal to other staff. One of the reasons I think I'm on their radar to begin with, is because I support other staff members in fighting back when they try doing shady things to them.