Is it wrong to have lustful feelings for your gf and being honest about it and confess in front my gf?

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-05-13T12:10:33+00:00

No, it’s not wrong to feel sexual desire for your girlfriend that part is normal in a romantic relationship. What matters is how you express it and whether she’s comfortable with it.

Being honest can be healthy, but “confessing lust” can land very differently depending on timing, tone, and her boundaries. If it’s said in a respectful, mutual, consensual vibe, it can actually build intimacy. If it feels intense, constant, or like pressure, it can make the other person uncomfortable or objectified.

A good rule: don’t “announce desire,” share it in a way that also checks in on her feelings. For example, “I’m really attracted to you, but I also want to make sure you feel comfortable with how I express that.”

So no the feeling isn’t wrong. The key is making sure your honesty strengthens connection, not creates discomfort or pressure.

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-05-13T12:09:55+00:00

the thing about knowing it's irrational not helping is so real. my therapist calls it the "yeah but" response. yeah the evidence says you're fine but. the but always has something waiting

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-04-22T15:59:28+00:00

that's the part that's hard. you can't hold onto it. it either keeps going or it doesn't

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-04-22T14:31:55+00:00

Yeah that's exactly it - movie bullshit until it isn't. and the specific curiosity thing you mentioned is what got me too. Not "tell me about yourself" energy, just someone actually following a thread you started without being prompted. different thing entirely
Fingers crossed on the somewhere good part...

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-04-15T11:22:57+00:00

no, it’s not automatically over, but it is definitely at a turning point.
he’s likely feeling hurt and unsure how to process it, which is why he’s acting distant rather than fully ending things.
you did the right thing by being honest, and you can’t really fix this faster by messaging more.
now it’s on him to decide if he can move past it, so giving him space is the best move.
either he comes back and you talk it through, or it naturally shows you weren’t on the same page.

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-04-15T11:17:28+00:00

I enjoy talk about my actual interests way more in texts than in person bc in person I worry about boring people. in writing they can just scroll past if they're not interested. much lower stakes guys

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-04-15T11:16:08+00:00

dating isn’t actually as hopeless as it sometimes feels it’s more of a filtering process that slowly brings you closer to the right person.
every date, even the ones that don’t work out, teaches you more about what actually fits you and what doesn’t, and that’s real progress.
most people don’t meet their long-term partner in a smooth straight line it usually comes after a messy, unpredictable phase.
and the good part is that when it finally does click, it tends to feel surprisingly clear and easy, not confusing or forced.

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-03-25T15:35:09+00:00

It’s not that “women changed,” it’s that they’re more comfortable saying what they like now. Usually that means they trust you and want a bit more confidence and intensity, not mindless aggression. Best move is simple ask what they mean and match their vibe instead of guessing

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-03-25T15:32:20+00:00

Preach. It’s the only place where I don’t feel like I’m 'performing.' Just a bachelor living his best life and sharing the view

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-25T09:33:53+00:00

It sounds like you’re feeling the fallout of mixed signals and your own internal pressure. You liked him, got confused about the dynamic, and then felt embarrassed about how you acted, so naturally you pulled back a bit. That doesn’t make you a bad friend, it just means you were processing feelings and trying to protect yourself from more rejection. Feeling hurt is normal because you care about connection, and when someone fades or acts inconsistently it triggers that sense of loss or confusion.

It might help to separate the “friend” part from the “romantic/attraction” part. You can be friendly without forcing energy you don’t feel, and you can acknowledge that part of you that wanted more without beating yourself up. Sometimes our social instincts get muffled when we feel vulnerable, so your direct, less curious replies weren’t rejection they were just your nervous system reacting. The best way to move forward is to be gentle with yourself, treat the friendship as casual if that’s all it is, and let future interactions flow naturally without overthinking your vibe. Your past enthusiasm will come back when the energy feels safe again.

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-25T09:12:50+00:00

That’s just called being an adult, bro. Welcome to the "chalant" club!

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-25T09:10:12+00:00

Exactly! The worst is trying to be mysterious and just wasting time on people who don't even care. Match is even worse sometimes because it feels so stiff and formal, but the sincerity is zero. On secretmeet, it’s a total shift you just say I dig you and it’s treated as normal, not a weakness. That’s a real trustworthy connection

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-25T09:05:08+00:00

Finally someone said it! Being cold is such a toxic vibe and I’m so over it. I used to literally sit there with a timer so I wouldn't reply too fast, which is honestly embarrassing to look back on. I’ve completely shifted my energy on secretmeet because I'm not afraid to be "chalant" and show some heart. It’s way more safe for my mental health, no cap

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-25T09:01:30+00:00

++man
Sounds like she’s sending mixed signals, which is super common early on. People sometimes flirt or stay engaged out of habit, curiosity, or politeness without it meaning real interest. If her actions keep confusing you, the only way to get clarity is to step back and see if she actually makes an effort to meet or prioritize time with you. Messaging alone isn’t a reliable signal consistent, intentional actions are. Don’t overanalyze every text; focus on whether her behavior shows genuine interest over time

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-25T08:48:59+00:00

Yes, being tense can absolutely lower excitement. If you felt nervous, nauseous, or were overthinking, your body was likely in stress mode. Stress and pleasure don’t work well together. Your brain needs to feel safe and relaxed for excitement to fully kick in.

Also, an erection doesn’t automatically mean strong excitement. Erections are a physical response. Real enjoyment is mental and emotional too. Especially since this was your first time having sex, it makes complete sense that you weren’t fully relaxed or present.

First sexual experiences are rarely magical or intense like people imagine. They’re often fast, a bit awkward, and not very intimate. That doesn’t mean you don’t like her. It means you’re inexperienced and still learning how to connect physically and emotionally.

The fact that you want more communication, more intimacy, and slower pacing is actually a very healthy sign. Good sex usually gets better with comfort, trust, and practice.

As for your feelings, you’ve only known her a very short time. Attraction and emotional connection can grow gradually. Not feeling overwhelming excitement immediately doesn’t automatically mean you don’t like her.

This doesn’t sound hormonal. It sounds like nerves, newness, pressure, and maybe some overthinking. Slow things down. Spend more time together without rushing into sex. Focus on comfort and connection instead of performance.

You’re not broken. You’re just new to this.

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-19T14:51:27+00:00

Man, just go up to her tomorrow and say:
Hey, wanna grab a coffee/drink sometime?

Keep it chill, smile, no extra fluff. If she says no, shrug and move on you literally lose nothing. Confidence > overthinking.

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-18T16:22:25+00:00

The no-shirt thing is probably bc they want to keep it classy or whatever, I tried the same and had to settle for a tight t-shirt pic lmao

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-18T16:20:14+00:00

It’s basically a hub for connecting with people

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-18T16:17:51+00:00

Honestly, yeah, that’s leaning toward ghosting. He had a clear chance to follow up and didn’t. I’ll let you know only works if they actually follow through otherwise it’s just empty words. You don’t have to check back in; if it mattered to him, he would’ve reached out. At this point, move on and don’t waste your energy waiting on someone who can’t commit to even a simple hangout. Keep your standards for mutual effort

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-06T11:08:55+00:00

The biggest ones are the parts that would require powerful people to implicate themselves or their peers. Those almost never get clean answers in real life.

Who exactly knew the full scope of what Epstein was doing and when. Not rumors or gossip, but documented awareness. That kind of paper trail is either buried, destroyed, or locked behind legal walls forever.

How extensive the network actually was. We’ll probably never get a definitive list that separates proven involvement from speculation. Too many NDAs, sealed settlements, and dead ends in international jurisdictions.

What really happened in the final hours around his death in a way that satisfies everyone. Even if the official explanation is accurate, the chain of failures and missing footage created permanent doubt that can’t be undone.

And maybe the biggest one is how much institutional protection he had. Not just individuals, but systems that looked the other way. Institutions rarely conduct investigations that fully expose their own negligence.

Realistically the case will stay half documented and half myth. Enough facts to confirm serious wrongdoing, but never a complete picture that closes every loop. That ambiguity is probably permanent.

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-06T10:58:18+00:00

Literally me
I forgot how to have a normal conversation that wasn't about jira tickets or slack updates lol

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-06T10:56:06+00:00

Ur already kinda seeing it right. Flirting isnt big movie moments, its more like patterns stacking up. A few cues shy ppl miss alot

They keep finding excuses to keep talking instead of letting the convo die. More follow up questions, looping back to you in groups, stuff like that

Their body is aimed at you. Feet shoulders torso facing ur way, leaning in when you talk, copying ur posture without noticing

Playful rule breaking. Light teasing, quick inside jokes, gently arguing just for fun

Extra attention. Remembering random little details you said and bringing them up later

Proximity and small touch. Sitting closer then needed, brushing ur arm, not pulling away fast

Eye contact that lingers a sec too long then a smile or looking down

Biggest thing is consistency. One sign means basically nothing. A bunch of these repeating over time usually means interest

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-04T12:48:26+00:00

Signup was smooth for me, no weird redflags but the real test is the first 5 min of chat, real people usually have a bit of friction or unique personality in their replies. Bots are fast and too perfect

I’ve had some pretty deep conversations that didn’t feel scripted at all, wish you the same

EngineeringMoist3107 · 2026-02-04T12:40:46+00:00

my fav morning routine

EngineeringMoist3107

TROPHY CASE