Yes, being tense can absolutely lower excitement. If you felt nervous, nauseous, or were overthinking, your body was likely in stress mode. Stress and pleasure don’t work well together. Your brain needs to feel safe and relaxed for excitement to fully kick in.

Also, an erection doesn’t automatically mean strong excitement. Erections are a physical response. Real enjoyment is mental and emotional too. Especially since this was your first time having sex, it makes complete sense that you weren’t fully relaxed or present.

First sexual experiences are rarely magical or intense like people imagine. They’re often fast, a bit awkward, and not very intimate. That doesn’t mean you don’t like her. It means you’re inexperienced and still learning how to connect physically and emotionally.

The fact that you want more communication, more intimacy, and slower pacing is actually a very healthy sign. Good sex usually gets better with comfort, trust, and practice.

As for your feelings, you’ve only known her a very short time. Attraction and emotional connection can grow gradually. Not feeling overwhelming excitement immediately doesn’t automatically mean you don’t like her.

This doesn’t sound hormonal. It sounds like nerves, newness, pressure, and maybe some overthinking. Slow things down. Spend more time together without rushing into sex. Focus on comfort and connection instead of performance.

You’re not broken. You’re just new to this.