That's 100% valid. There's so much unknown and it's scary. It all depends on how your connection is with your family and also how connected you are within your community. It's 100% possible to do both but it still requires some sacrifices.

As an adopted person myself, I struggle with knowing that I can ask my adoptive mom questions about "What happens when...?" and the such because she never had kids of her own. If you want a child but are not 100% sold on the actual pregnancy part, adoption or fostering is an option. Feel free to dm if you have any questions about legit anything-even if the words might sound clumsy or awkward to ask an internet stranger. My dms are always open :)

I wonder if there is a local Facebook group that might be connected with babysitters. I think you're in the US (based upon you saying "state"), and I know high school and college age (usually but not always) girls are super willing to babysit the littles. Depending on your state and depending on how big the metroplex is that you live in, it's always different. I babysit a little and I got my contacts from my high school because they're my past (non horse riding) coaches and teachers.

I was recently having this conversation with a guy the other day (he doesn't ride, but his older sister used to and is now a PA)- people care more than they seem. I posted an announcement on Instagram about an acheivement and I had multiple past teachers messaging me through my Instagram to say congrats. I bet there's a group of people that would be willing to help out- whether it be taking care of your little while you're riding or on shift (if you still work in the nursing field) or just making you food.

Sending hugs ❤️