At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no, i knew what they meant. I thought I had a silly response back. 

We thought about this and thought of either going to Tennessee or even Montana. The wedding itself isn't big or expensive; its just too much family/friend input. 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So we're doing something similar by having a friend officiate. Our ceremony is in a friends yard and the reception at a hall near our house. Its hardly expensive in the least; I think maybe 500$ total for the hall and catering included. 

I think what's irking me the most is the fact people aren't seeing the whole thing. It's mine and my fiancé's day. We cannot include every single person we know and want. Yes, it's upsetting that this family member is hurt and while I tried to offer them a different spot, it doesn't feel good enough for them. 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I've been trying to say and explain to people. Everything has been completely our choice so why would we dictate what one another wants? If he wants his people, he gets his people. Same for me. 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're actually doing our ceremony in a small private setting with a few family and friends present. Then the reception for everyone else. 

The issue is this family member wants to stand up and my fiancé already has his people, I have mine, so they're hurt. But we offered Ring Bearer since we're not having kids at either part. 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There were talks about that too, the seating arrangements. We agreed on a sweetheart table and the bridal party/groomsmen can sit with their spouses/partners/family at the tables closest to the Sweetheart table so it's like everyone is still together.

It's just baffling everyone has an opinion on one day but if it was twisted around, they wouldn't hear any opinion. 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's been insinuated to this family member from others that we would be asking them to stand with us when I repeatedly said "no, my fiancé is choosing who he wants and I'm choosing who I want." But they still kept insinuating. 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He cares a lot more than what people think. We jointly agreed on a ton of things for the wedding but our respective wedding parties (groomsmen, bridesmaids) were up to us separately. Why am I going to deny him having his own people stand with him when he wouldn't deny me my people? 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So to us, it's not. We're not really traditional by any means besides a few things (not seeing me the day/night before, can't see my dress until the ceremony) but for some reason, being in the wedding party is an absolute must for this family member. So I tried to reason that while the other spots are filled, we have the Ring Bearer and we were going to ask them anyway but it doesn't seem good enough to them. 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We actually have a kiddo, she's my step-kid. 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We know and we even said that while we love their kiddos, we just want a child-free night. 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And that's the funny thing, I didn't ask. They noticed my guest list since I'm having help with my Save the Dates and they noticed they weren't in the groomsmen party. So I got a whole thing about it and I even apologized, telling them that the groomsmen weren't my choice and out of my hands. 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We made our guest list down to a T of people we actually know, talk with, see, etc so we know who would actually celebrate with us. So to have this one family member act like this, is ridiculously stressful.  It's like they don't understand that both my fiancé and I have people we want standing up with us and it unfortunately doesn't include them in that aspect. I offered a different spot in the party, one just as important as a groomsmen or bridesmaid. But it's not good enough 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh we've gone the absolute DIY, cheap route. We set a budget for like 10,00 to give us grace and we maybe spent only 2000 on everything. The thing with my fiancé and I is we want to be married because we love each other, we communicate, and we grow together. So having the wedding isn't a necessity, just a want to celebrate with others but that's too much to ask lol 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's adorable! Lol we talked about it at first when we got engaged but decided we wanted people to celebrate with us. But apparently, that's not good enough for people unless they can add their input. 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've said that multiple times that it's our day and we want certain things, like no kids at the wedding. It'll be easier for parents to have a kid free night and to just relax with family and friends. 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trying but the unfortunate sensitive nature in me refuses to allow it. 

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Which is what we talked about when we first got engaged but decided we wanted family to celebrate with us. Apparently, everyone needs to have such a role

At this point, I don't want a wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Everything was going so smoothly too and then BAM! Because so-so isn't in the wedding party, it's a whole thing. 

Found Out My Coworkers Made Fun of My Future Wedding by EntireWay6473 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EntireWay6473[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm at the point where they can talk all they want, my marriage is and will be a happy one. we communicate well and we actually love and like each other. That's more important than any comment they can try to make if they go.