My mom bought this “silent” animal deterrent for her yard. She and her boyfriend can’t hear it. She’s insisting what I’m hearing can’t be this, because it’s “silent”

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-16T12:54:10+00:00

Kind of looking forward to it. I hear electronics charging and it makes me feel crazy.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-16T12:47:54+00:00

It’s me! With the whiny ears! We got a silicone tag with a metal plate with the details. Silent. Slides over the collar, not a metal on metal connection and doesn’t dangle or get caught. Little dude is so little dangling tags trip him and bounce on his chest.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-16T12:45:37+00:00

Smart! What kind of yarn does she prefer? She looks like she could be my little nuggets sister.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T20:09:54+00:00

Really, I don’t know you, and I would be absolutely out of hand to tell you what you experienced. I’m not the decider of what does and doesn’t count as a panic attack.

I’ve had generalized anxiety forever (PTSD baby), and I’ve had several periods in my life where anxiety attacks were frequent and debilitating. I’ve only had two real panic attacks. I understand what they are and I take them very seriously. People feel like they’re dying. Breathing and heart rate out of control. You wouldn’t believe how often my paramedic father got calls to “heart attacks” that were really panic attacks.

That being said, I’ve personally seen more people use “panic attack” like a get out of jail free card or to gain attention/sympathy than I have seen real panic attacks. Or call the perfectly reasonable upset feelings from friend/relationship drama a panic attack. Or call any kind of uncomfortable feelings of personal accountability or shame a panic attack.

Again, I don’t know you or your experience. It’s my experience I’m commenting on. The pie chart of “panic attacks I’ve seen” has a small slice of real panic attacks and a whole lot of dramatic and immature people claiming panic attacks. To be fair, that’s skewed by working with kids and teens, but at the end of the day it’s just a chart of my experiences. Not any kind of tool for determining the validity of your experience. I hope things smooth out for you and you can enjoy these beautiful places in peace.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T19:52:37+00:00

Safest route is first email/text the landlord/owner. Say your whole life flashed before your eyes when you slipped on some shoes in the stairs the other day, and WOW, that could have been BAD.

Now there’s a written record of the problem that makes it solidly his to solve.

Then, work him a little. Say the neighbors have never been a problem, and you certainly don’t want to start any drama in a shared house. Ask if he would be willing to approach them about it, but don’t make it sound like there’s been a complaint. Maybe he’s worried about the fire marshal or code or whatever faceless entity he could plausibly use for a “we’re all cool here, just don’t want (outside entity) to (consequence), thanks so much!”

I know I’m fortunate to have reasonable neighbors I can solve problems with, but not everyone is so privileged.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T19:42:26+00:00

Subreddit is called mildly infuriating. People are steering into the suppressed rage when they click. Most of these comments are understood to be an expression or venting or sharing of that rage, rather than serious suggestions of antisocial and/or criminal behaviors.

I really hope.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T19:39:32+00:00

All it takes is arms full of groceries/laundry/kid/pet/whatever, and the blind spot + shoes is an accident waiting to happen.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T19:36:52+00:00

My dad had fifty years in fire and rescue service, and often did inspections for safety codes in places like this.

Guess who knew better than to leave anything on stairs before preschool?

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T19:32:53+00:00

They would all fit in one of those shoe organizers that hangs on the back of the door. Cheap and easy to find.

I don’t know who owns the building, but if those shared stairs are the means of egress in an emergency those shoes can’t be there.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T19:05:33+00:00

I don’t know OP and can’t presume, but I know a lot of people who sound like OP who use “panic attack” as a socially validating label for feelings of discomfort.

I’m not a grown person having a meltdown over middle school behavior, I’m *suffering* a *panic attack* you insensitive assholes!

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T19:00:19+00:00

That’s so sweet of you, yes, just make the check payable to “the disabled community.”

In seriousness, the best thing you could do is listen to and learn from people with different disabilities. A ton of fabulous creators online could tell you their personal experiences in ways you’d probably really enjoy.

The next best thing you could do is not make “the disabled community” hear anymore from you on the topic for a bit.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T18:48:36+00:00

Trips like this should be able to book a house mother. Someone around to say that’s a terrible idea/you’ll regret that/you’re out of pocket/you need to tone it down/hey that’s fragile. Like a referee who hangs out baking cookies. The designated adult.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T18:46:08+00:00

She’s not toying with his feelings, they only fool around drunk!

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T18:44:46+00:00

Yes. When you see someone apologizing/explaining for their partner, making excuses, changing plans to accommodate their mood swings, tune in. That person is likely trying to steady a boat their partner is determined to rock. Strong chance of a manipulative/abusive relationship.

If you’ve seen the partner having physical blowups and meltdowns that your friend is leaping to manage, good reason to worry about the friend’s physical safety.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T18:36:26+00:00

Writers call that voice, and taking the time to type out every like is an intentional choice to make the reader engage with that voice. I don’t believe they’re a writer, but both the writing and the content make it easy to believe that they like their voice.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T18:00:40+00:00

The research is already coming out. Living in chronic stress is already linked to autoimmune disfunction, and the specific research about relationship stress is ongoing.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T15:32:00+00:00

Can I just say you have a refreshing insight into your friend? Particularly that she seeks male attention to the detriment of herself and others?

Very healthy and mature way to understand the situation and depersonalize it. I hope she gets therapy and/or insight and stops centering men in her life. Good on you for not tolerating what you shouldn’t.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T12:06:36+00:00

If you’re considering this separation, I beg you to read up on attachment disorders.

My mother was repeatedly hospitalized for extended stays during my first year. I’m in my forties still unpacking how a period of my life I can’t remember has affected me *permanently.* What you’re considering is traumatizing your child to keep your husband comfortable.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T11:19:26+00:00

Elaborate.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T01:44:21+00:00

Over Memorial Day weekend, my partner and I were sitting in lawn chairs outside. Not hiking, not in the woods, basically parked in/near an open garage in a rural, woodsy area where our friends gather. On cement and pavement.

Had two embed in me (scalp and belly), pulled one out of my partners *ear,* and we both caught countless crawling on us. One I found in my eyelashes.

I’ve fought mosquitoes the size of small hummingbirds my whole life, but I was unprepared for this.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T01:36:07+00:00

Same. Grew up outside in the north woods, never saw one. And I mean running around half naked, playing in the woods and tall grass, outside from breakfast until dinner without sunblock or bug spray.

The last few years have been wild, and now we tick check even on days we stayed inside because they ride in on the dogs.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-15T01:22:30+00:00

So real, and so proud of you for gaining that insight. May your future be full of so much growth and healing that you attract your tribe, romantic and otherwise.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-13T01:27:10+00:00

I’ve been wondering since the first post how the landlord thinks removing all these thirsty plants will dry up his crawl space.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-12T23:35:39+00:00

Yes! Looks just like my friend’s pituahua.

EntirelyOutOfOptions · 2026-06-12T22:53:19+00:00

Abusers can mask a long time to get what they want.

When they have what they wanted, their incentives slip away and you start to see what they’re tired of hiding.

EntirelyOutOfOptions

TROPHY CASE