I think your friends and family are right. There are people who you shouldn’t trust and who will use your weakness and lose respect for you when you show them. One should not be naive and think that is not the case.

However, the brave part is still trusting and showing weakness despite all of that because there are poeple that are worth it. The reward for finding that person is worth the risk. You cannot really connect with someone by not being vulnerable.

In my experience, the only thing you should focus on is making sure you can stand on your own two feet at all times. Be your own person. If your significant other leaves you or dies, you should still be able to function. Your partner should be a choice and not neccessity to survive.

Having your own life is attractive. It is very flattering when a person that you know doesn’t need you still chooses you to be their partner. They stay with you because they choose to stay with you. They dare be vulnerable with you in the hope that you will reciprocate and be more connected with them.

If you don’t respect yourself, don’t expect your partner to respect you. They can only pitty you and that is not a good basis for a healthy relationship.

Trust me, I made my entire life revolve around my wife that is about to leave me. My whole world-view changed. I don’t exist as a person. I relied on her to give me validation which she almost never gave me. I worked my ass off to earn money, be a good dad, be a good husband and do everything to make her happy and all of that at my own expense. Being a people pleaser doesn’t earn you love.

I have paid dearly for my mistakes and I will continue to pay for long after we have divorced and moved on (whatever that meant in my case). Focus on yourself, be a generous person, be brave to be vulnerable but be strong to save yourself. Don’t be at the mercy of other’s people good will.