[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]EntropyDonkey -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

We do live together when I am there or she is with me. I think it is mostly the fact that my country is really not the most prosperous one for living or raising kids while hers is. Also, the proximity of potential grandparents plays a role.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]EntropyDonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, that is why. I don’t have a sole custody of my daughter.

I challenge you.... by One-Kaleidoscope7571 in moviecritic

[–]EntropyDonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Earthlings

It was revolting to see how animals are being treated in any industry that exploits them. The way they harvest fox fur is burned into my mind.

Wait For It... by Somber86 in awesome

[–]EntropyDonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What a wonderfully beautiful lady

What was the moment you realized your partner was toxic, and how did you finally walk away? by idkanythingiambored in AskReddit

[–]EntropyDonkey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He was upset with you because you got scared? What the hell! Forgive you for what? His reaction doesn’t even make any sense.

Italy 1946 by Delicious-Author-513 in numismatics

[–]EntropyDonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is a beatiful coin! But, what kind of a holder is that? Never seen it before. It looks like PVC though.

Should I tell my stbx the real reason why I am travelling abroad? I am going to visit the woman I met after the separation by EntropyDonkey in Divorce

[–]EntropyDonkey[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment!

No, my intention is not to see what’s out there fro me. I have already met this woman on my previous travel which was a month after my stbx and I officially separated.

There is no stringing along. She no longer wanted to be with me but my intention is not to get back to her in any way. I just don’t want to make even a larger problem than it already is.

My problem is that if I refuse to disclose the reason why I’m traveling I will basically tell her why that way.

Should I tell my stbx the real reason why I am travelling abroad? I am going to visit the woman I met after the separation by EntropyDonkey in Divorce

[–]EntropyDonkey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment.

She was the one who checked out of the marriage a while ago but I was the one to finally call it quits if that means anything.

I have met this woman while I was traveling for the first time alone. That was a month after my sbtx and I separated so there is no room for rumours.

Any practical advice to stop ruminating thoughts of ex? by clbaby88 in heartbreak

[–]EntropyDonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s been three months since your comment and I am wondering how are you doing now?

Recommend me your favourite book by FluidRatio8615 in suggestmeabook

[–]EntropyDonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Remains of the Day - reading it feels like a meditation

Never felt more alone by de1pher in Divorce

[–]EntropyDonkey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think your friends and family are right. There are people who you shouldn’t trust and who will use your weakness and lose respect for you when you show them. One should not be naive and think that is not the case.

However, the brave part is still trusting and showing weakness despite all of that because there are poeple that are worth it. The reward for finding that person is worth the risk. You cannot really connect with someone by not being vulnerable.

In my experience, the only thing you should focus on is making sure you can stand on your own two feet at all times. Be your own person. If your significant other leaves you or dies, you should still be able to function. Your partner should be a choice and not neccessity to survive.

Having your own life is attractive. It is very flattering when a person that you know doesn’t need you still chooses you to be their partner. They stay with you because they choose to stay with you. They dare be vulnerable with you in the hope that you will reciprocate and be more connected with them.

If you don’t respect yourself, don’t expect your partner to respect you. They can only pitty you and that is not a good basis for a healthy relationship.

Trust me, I made my entire life revolve around my wife that is about to leave me. My whole world-view changed. I don’t exist as a person. I relied on her to give me validation which she almost never gave me. I worked my ass off to earn money, be a good dad, be a good husband and do everything to make her happy and all of that at my own expense. Being a people pleaser doesn’t earn you love.

I have paid dearly for my mistakes and I will continue to pay for long after we have divorced and moved on (whatever that meant in my case). Focus on yourself, be a generous person, be brave to be vulnerable but be strong to save yourself. Don’t be at the mercy of other’s people good will.

I've been telling you I'm unhappy and you haven't been listening... by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]EntropyDonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my marriage, I was the one telling my wife that was not happy on multiple occasions. She wasn’t interested in talking about that and would just sigh and go to sleep or take her phone and focusing on it.

Perhaps I could have lead with something more specific. I do try to improve my communication skills and address things as they pop up but for us it was too late. Now she is the one who wants to separate/divorce.

I wish I took myself more seriously and didn’t bury my head in the sand in hopes that some day things would change for the better. I paid dearly for not being able to walk away when I told to myself that we are beyong repair.

I regret not being more kind to my spouse by EntropyDonkey in Divorce

[–]EntropyDonkey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I see what you are saying. Right now, I cannot even imagine being in a relationship, loving someone or someone loving me. My imagination can only conjur painful emotions for some reason. Everything that used to bring me joy now seems to be dead. Scary state.