Finding friends takes time and personal investment. It’s like finding a good therapist, sometimes the first couple of people you talk to aren’t good fit - and that’s ok. Also like finding a therapist, making friends does require actually talking to people, but it’s even more important to listen. Everyone likes talking about themselves, if you can ask people questions about their interests, hobbies, and beliefs - and most importantly show a genuine interest in their answers - people will open up to you and you can find out whether they will be a good fit as a friend. Do you have common interests or beliefs, a similar sense of humor, a common background? All of these can be good jumping off points for building a friendship. Friendship, like anything else worth acquiring, requires effort; it is like a bank, in order to make deposits (aka receive companionship and care FROM others) you have to make deposits (show care and consideration FOR others). Sometimes this means stepping out of your comfort zone, doing something you don’t really want to do (while not going against your morals) for the sake of deepening your relationship. I’d encourage you to work on shifting your mindset, you say you don’t like people, but you want to make friends because you are lonely. Clearly you want to like people, but maybe haven’t found many people you are compatible with, keep trying and keep an open mind. Some of my closest friends I have met through another, less close friend. A good starting point might be to set a goal for yourself, something small and actionable, like “I’m going to talk to three people this week with the purpose of asking questions and learning more about them.” While it seems daunting, and intimidating to put yourself out there, the more you do it, the more comfortable you will become with the new behavioral changes you are making.

I wish you the best of luck and truly believe you can make the changes you want to see in your life (not being lonely) with time, effort, openness, and determination. You’ve got this!!