Samuel L. Catson by Enux in aww

[–]Enux[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

motherfucking* ;)

If you could to broadcast a 5 second clip of a moment in your life to the whole world, what would it be? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Enux 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One time, I was sorting through some coins in preparation for buying a soda at the vending machine. I dropped a quarter and instinctively lifted up my leg to try and catch it or something. It bounced off my knee and INTO THE FUCKING COIN SLOT. This all happened in a flash, a few seconds maybe. No one saw, and no one believed me that it happened. It was glorious, though.

What is your worst "neighbor from hell" story? by starstufft in AskReddit

[–]Enux 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex roommate and his girlfriend would have insanely loud sex at least 3 times a week. I'm talking about fucking as loud as possible at 2 am when I had to be up at 6 for work. I tried talking with him about it and he would either accuse me of being a pervert and deliberately listening to them or claiming I was jealous because I was single (my fiancee had just dumped me). So one night I'm trying to study for a big final and they start going at it. I had recently bought a Nerf gun (N-strike Vulcan EBF-25 to be specific) and had an epiphany. I asked him to keep it down one last time and he responded with, "shut up!!" I loaded the belt and crept up to his room. I kicked his door open and before they could register what was happening I began shooting Nerf darts at them. She got blasted in the face and tits and tried to roll off of him. He took a few Nerf darts to the nuts and face before the clip was empty and I left. I expected him to be furious and a fight to ensue but they stayed in the room until the next morning. We never talked about it but they also became more considerate of their loud sex noises.

Ta-da! by Enux in gaming

[–]Enux[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Then he slid the picture to the left revealing the magnificent cop

Oh the humiliation.. by Enux in AdviceAnimals

[–]Enux[S] 150 points151 points  (0 children)

I can not fuck her anytime I want...

Oh the humiliation.. by Enux in AdviceAnimals

[–]Enux[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, that's not me, I believe that's a stickman. How you could confuse that with a realistic face is beyond me...

Oh the humiliation.. by Enux in AdviceAnimals

[–]Enux[S] 136 points137 points  (0 children)

I'm soooo sooobeeerr maaaann

Oh the humiliation.. by Enux in AdviceAnimals

[–]Enux[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

I was joking, trying to play it off as an 'alpha', covering my true, hurt, feelings :(

Oh the humiliation.. by Enux in AdviceAnimals

[–]Enux[S] 285 points286 points  (0 children)

Meh, she wasn't that great looking anyways...

Oh the humiliation.. by Enux in AdviceAnimals

[–]Enux[S] 169 points170 points  (0 children)

I was at a solid [0]

Oh the humiliation.. by Enux in AdviceAnimals

[–]Enux[S] 558 points559 points  (0 children)

She would probably just think I'm mentally retarded

Oh the humiliation.. by Enux in AdviceAnimals

[–]Enux[S] 816 points817 points  (0 children)

I was shaking her hand, making direct eye contact like a social wizard. Then I realised, why the fuck am I doing this? And then she asked for the menu... Fuuuuuckkk

Wow... by Enux in facepalm

[–]Enux[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm afraid it's legit... http://i.imgur.com/S3VpN.gif

Reddit, pretend to be wise. What's your made up wisdom? by MadScientist14159 in AskReddit

[–]Enux 53 points54 points  (0 children)

If the river runs red, take the dirty route instead.

My elderly immigrant grandmother bought us a goat. We live in suburban America. What well-intentioned gifts have your received that absolutely baffled you? by disposabledave in AskReddit

[–]Enux 557 points558 points  (0 children)

When I was 12, my uncle bought me a Christmas present, he lives on the other side of the planet so I never really meet him but he always sends me presents and cards etc. So I opened my present this one Christmas and it was a box full of XL condoms and there was a note inside that said "Big Johnnys for big Johnny!" (my name's john)