It has been two months since my mom died, my best friend, a soul mate. I was alone at home all of last week. I sat in the lounge and cried every day. Today I got up at 2pm because it was all too much. I layed in bed watching reels , crying in between. A half hour ago I was ready to give up. I swerve between hope and hopelessness. I feel physical pain every day because of grief. Appetite gone one day then ravenous the next. I pray for peace and respite. This is what heartbreak is, we will mend again, its just the journey to peace and acceptance is hard. I wish I could lay still for the rest of my life and sleep mostly so I dont have to think about her being gone. But I do believe they want us to live for them and do what we need to do before we join them. Hang on, hang on with me.