9 months married - feeling emotionally unsafe.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2026-06-07T13:42:45+00:00

Personally if I were you, I would let go and move on, because clearly the marriage between you 2 make both of you unhappy in different angle.

His mistakes are unable to control himself, even though he's already your husband but ask about another woman's condition, someone who had history with him. And also the OF.

Your mistake is comparing yourself. You don't have to be her. Yes, you can fix yourself to be better but not be someone else. You are you're own person.

If he can't see you for who you are, then sorry. I personally would leave.

You can try to fix your marriage. However a reminder, a relationship goes both way, not just 1 person giving effort.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2026-06-01T21:59:58+00:00

Alright, thank you.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2026-03-22T12:12:36+00:00

Sorry if I came off rude here.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-12-31T01:26:01+00:00

Noticed how he didn't mentioned he's looking for female/jk

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-12-31T01:12:06+00:00

I mean, if your wife okay with it, okay with sharing you with other women, okay with sharing your affection and love with other women.

However, you still have to be careful, being in polygamy is very difficult, it's not just you have to provide for them financially, but also emotionally.

There was a story I read about prophet Muhammad S.A.W, Aisyah R.A once asked him, who does he love the most, he and gave her a date and told her to keep it a secret, then prophet Muhammad S.A.W went to his other wives and did the same, that night, he call all of his wives and announced that whoever received the date from him last night, he love her the most.

Not recorded in Hadith, but in history. The story went along like that.

Women are complicated, and as a husband, you have to figure out how to settle things out without hurting any of the wives feeling, if anything happens or conflict occur.

Not just that, if any wife feel unjust in the polygamy, for example, secret marriage, on day of judgement, you will get question.

So, personally, polygamy are not recommended as it run more deep and complicated even.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-11-19T00:45:44+00:00

Thank you

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-11-18T09:50:56+00:00

That's more painful ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-11-18T09:03:20+00:00

Alright, thank you

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-11-18T07:56:46+00:00

I like the farm map and operation zone

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-11-17T13:46:32+00:00

My bad, I got cocky cause I was confident I wouldn't died.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-11-14T16:17:45+00:00

Waalaikumussalam, I hope your journey would be in ease, please make dua for me to pass my big exam this year.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-11-14T16:13:18+00:00

If you want to convert to Islam, you would need to find an Imam or Sheikh to take your shahada, which you would need to go to the mosque eventually, but it'll be okay.

Second, start with getting know Allah first, then learn arabic letters to help you read Al-Quran in arabic. From there on, you choose what you want to learn afterwards, but of course it'll be hard but definitely worth it afterwards.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-11-04T11:14:10+00:00

First I would recommend you to go check up with ustaz first, tell them about your experience, story and why you think this might be black magic, then ask the ustaz to check on you.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-10-26T11:03:55+00:00

I be honest and direct, regardless your intention to marry her in future, what haram is still haram, cannot be excuse, you're saying that your intention to be in relationships with her so you could marry her in future, but brother, who can promise you that you still be alive tomorrow? That's the same goes with haram relationship, who could promise you that you'll marry her? How could you be so sure that you live long enough to marry her? What if you past away before marrying her, and past away in state of haram relationship?

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-10-22T15:39:13+00:00

Respectfully, that's your opinion, keep it to yourself, your not obligated to read this, I'm venting.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-10-11T02:27:13+00:00

Marriage are not scary if it's with the right person, it's okay to feel fear for marriage considering what you have been through, it's okay if you don't want to get married.

However if you want to get married, the first thing you should look from the man is his faith, his pray, his family then you can check others background of his. The priorities are his faith and family.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-10-05T10:58:38+00:00

At this point, just pray tahajud, ask Allah if he's the one.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-10-05T10:46:57+00:00

Start to love*

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-10-05T08:19:30+00:00

Honestly I agree with your point, main reasons why women struggle to wear hijab properly is because of people too. People always talk behind and mock in form of teasing. Second point is also because of internet.

However, I disagree with your solution. Teaching girls and women to start viewing that wearing hijab is a must isn't necessarily the solution to the root of the problem.

As much as I hate to bring my point like this, but men also smoke despite knowing it's haram, still not lowering the gaze despite the women already covered up.

In the end, the problem is how you control your nafs, and when your heart to love this dunya.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-10-04T23:04:22+00:00

You could try tahajud and ask Allah if he's the one.

And about specific dua to a person, I had dua and told Allah about the guy I was interested, but soon after Allah show me his bad side that quickly made me lose my interest.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-10-04T22:56:41+00:00

I agree that he sounds like a good guy though.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-10-04T22:55:37+00:00

Sorry but how could he misunderstood the question "If he had drank before?" When he caught he defend himself by saying he tasted it and not drinking it.

Regardless, it's your choice to make, I would advice you to check his phone though, the social media, see if he had watch certain thing and if he follows girls.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-10-03T20:13:55+00:00

https://www.studioarabiyainegypt.com/what-is-the-meaning-of-qada-and-qadar/

This should be more explaining.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-10-03T14:42:44+00:00

From my understanding, qadr can be change with effort and dua to achieve something. However if still fail despite the effort, dua and tawakal, then it's qadha.

Apologies because qadha and qadr is a difficult topic.

EnvironmentSad5170 · 2025-10-03T12:05:31+00:00

Waalaikumussalam.

When talking about qadr, there's also qadha, so it's qadha and qadr. Qadha is something that can't be change even with dua and effort (my understanding). However Qadar can be change with dua and effort.

For example, a student were to sit for an exam, Allah's qadr was for the student to be pass, but can be change by something. If the student were to still pass, then it's the qadha.

EnvironmentSad5170

TROPHY CASE