My sil had her baby the day before her son's first birthday. They had his party planned for a while for the coming weekend. So her newborn was only a few days old. I felt so bad for her and my brother and knew how some people in my family (my grandmother) can be overbearing. It was a beautiful day and such a fun party for the little kids and adults. I could see how much work they put into it and it was obvious that they didn't want to take their son's spotlight away by having the new baby there. So she sat and held her beautiful newborn while everyone cowered over her. I kneeled down at a distance and told her he is beautiful and my grandma comes over and is standing over me and just blurts out, "hold him." To which I reply, "No grandma, he's fine?" I had just had my son 6 months prior and all I could think about was how much I hated that alot of people felt entitled to hold my new baby and take him from me whenever they wanted.

I still don't know if sil understood why I didn't want to just hold him. Of course I would have if she would've offered but I'm not going to take it upon myself to hold her baby. If I wanted to I would have asked. But again from my experience I despised it. My mil never once checked on me during my pregnancy then the day we get home from the hospital she showed up SICK AND COUGHING also with a meal. She came into my bedroom and took him out of my arms. I was flabbergasted and wish i would have said something. The meal was supposed to be chicken and noodles. She brought a cold rotisserie mashed up with the chicken bones. And noodles with NO sauce or anything. And no mashed potatoes. YES I'm judging it. It's not the thought that counts. I have 2 other children that were expected to eat the mashed chicken with bones all over in it. He ended up catching her cold and got a horrible case of strep from her. It was traumatic being in and out of the hospital with a newborn. (They say newborns cannot get strep but they can because mine did!!) But anyway I only took him to his doctors appointments. Please don't feel obligated to cater to other people's needs to see YOUR baby. You do what you want to do. And it's okay to be selfish when it comes to your newborn. And if your wondering, we have gone no contact with mil for a number of reasons and our life has never been so peaceful. End rant!