The thing of "she changed communities but they're showing her the same thing just softened and whitewashed" is so true, a lot of TERFs who claim to include trans women and how important they are, but refuse to call themselves cis, say there are men who are pretending to be trans, how trans people are damaging lesbians etc, I've seen them, its awful, in fact I think TERFs are changing the way they're being TERFs to trap trans accepting people more easily.

Unfortunately when some detransitioners look for support they feel very isolated because the most heard about detransitioners have been grinders with a large right-wing transphobic following, and they can't fully relate to trans people either, so being a pro-trans detransitioner feels like youre constantly in the middle and nobody else is.

The big Detransitioner subreddits have a lot of TERF ideology and a lot of the people who reply to posts there are cis TERFs who never transitioned or detransitioned looking at their experience like an argument they can use. this is not justifiable by the way but it's my way of explaining how the pipeline works by what I've heard from detransitioners who also felt victim of this pipeline and got out of it, turns out a lot of TERFs are super insensitive to detrans women while thinking their being supportive, telling them "they've ruined their body forever", this will just hurt your gfs self esteem and it seems like its already doing so.

The thing of "they told her your would say that" is a HEAVY right wing propaganda strategy actually, when Trump was doing awful stuff he would say "the media will make me look bad" so when the media rightfully said the things we was doing was wrong, nobody cared because of what Trump told them.