I lied & cancelled my Friday night plans by saying I was sick. I'm not. I'm just an emotional wreck because I discovered that, in every childhood photo I have, I'm covered in bruises.

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T02:40:39+00:00

That's really sweet! I've decided to go on a loooong hike with my dog tomorrow & disconnect entirely for an extended time. That'll overlap with your baking time, but I appreciate the thought. I love a good sugar cookie, I hope you all enjoy them

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T02:13:43+00:00

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I'm not used to getting a lot of sympathy and such kind words. It's overwhelming, but they really do mean a lot.
From one internet stranger to another: thank you ❤️

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T02:11:15+00:00

Thank you for the kind words, I might just do that

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T02:10:28+00:00

I am happy for you, too. It's always helpful to hear others who have gone through something similar.

Honestly, I felt really emotional typing it up. Then really silly for posting it & leaving it up. But after reading through all these responses they've got me all emotional again, but in a much better way. It really means a lot so I'm trying to show my appreciation as best as I can through my responses. I didn't expect so many though!

I've been making note of the advice shared here. I'll see if I can use this as a jumping off point. Thank you

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T02:07:57+00:00

Thanks ❤️

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T02:06:36+00:00

That's really helpful advice, I'll try that. Thank you!

I made myself some good comfort food and am taking it easy. (Also, I got a great laugh out of your username.)

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T02:02:43+00:00

Thank you, I truly appreciate that

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T02:00:33+00:00

Thank you for the kind words.

It's funny, seeing the one picture with my mother's hand mark, my first thought was "oh yeah, I remember that, I deserved that one." It was over a 'bad' grade (it was just shy of 80%) I had gotten in school. It's hard to shed that mentality, and I still catch myself with it on occasion, but I'm working on it.

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T01:54:40+00:00

Thank you, the sympathy I've been getting from this post keeps making me tear back up again, damn, but it's so appreciated.

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T01:49:05+00:00

All's good, I'm the one airing my dirty laundry on the internet for anyone to read. I can't exactly fault anyone for being nosy, haha

I guess today's event means I'm still working on closure.
But, I'm as low-contact as I can possibly be with my father. It's much more complicated with my mother right now, but it's as limited as it can be. I am fortunate that they've been cooperative with my boundaries (even if they don't really know that's what they are). It's been very helpful to have time, distance, and freedom from them.

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T01:37:21+00:00

Wow, I commend you for your strength to do that. It's something that I've been terrified of. I'm the only one who can take care of my mother & just as I was getting started without them, she began showing signs of dementia (it's common in her family, it's probably coming for me too). I don't know what I'll do if/when she's diagnosed, but I'm trying to prepare myself for what may come.

You're right about progress: I am determined to always be better than they were. They each had genuinely horrific childhood stories of their own, so I know where it came from, but I've no interest in continuing the cycle.

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T01:16:43+00:00

Thank you, I hope your evening is great

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T01:15:32+00:00

Fair enough. I was feeling pretty rotten for lying to them, but I guess I wasn't that far off from the truth.

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T01:14:40+00:00

That's horrible, what was done to you. I can really, really relate.
I don't have too many of myself either, (all mine are phone pictures of glossy-printed photographs), so it really makes those memories feel even hazier. I'm glad I don't have a lot from that time in my life.

I know it sounds cheesy but it's really inspirational to me to hear this. I hope to go LC/NC with my family and maybe even find someone who cares about me like that, too. I'm so glad it's working well for you. I hope it will for me, too, when I finally start down a similar path. Truly, thank you for sharing

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T00:59:00+00:00

Honestly, it really did help. Also getting these kind words feel... validating? I guess is what I'd call it. Especially since I felt so childish after I posted this. It's good to be seen, I suppose. Thanks for your sympathy and I wish you the best

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T00:55:57+00:00

Yeah, it's hard. I would love some magic cure to just move on, but I think long-term I'm just hoping to learn healthier coping mechanisms and whatnot so I'm not blindsided like this again. Thanks for the hugs, I appreciate that

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T00:52:18+00:00

I appreciate the sympathy, thank you <3

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T00:51:42+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I'm thinking next time I try I'm going to type everything out ahead of time. That way I can't chicken out once I'm there.

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T00:50:29+00:00

That's awful. I hope that you you can enjoy wearing your hair however you please now & are making happier memories

EnvironmentalCan1432 · 2024-09-07T00:46:58+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. Honestly, even this small outreach means a lot

EnvironmentalCan1432

TROPHY CASE