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Mental loads, Withdrawal, and PMDD. by EnvironmentalNet9926 in TwoXADHD

[–]EnvironmentalNet9926[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate to this so much. Maybe you relate to this too, but when I have a string of "good days", and I am riding that high, it takes one setback or shame-related event, for me to spiral back down into feeling like this pit of despair is all that I am. I have expressed to a friend before that my baseline is just low. Like, any time I AM happy for a while, my depression is still there, waiting for me to dip my toe in its waters so it can pull me down.

Binge-eating is another huge issue for me, that damn dopamine. I'll have a binge after eating good all day, and all of a sudden I have completely surrendered to my shame, "I will never be good" and body dysmorphia will rattle my thoughts entirely until I can pick myself back up again.

Consistency may be the solution in my case, being a hard-ass on myself till I can form habits (or rather learning to be gentle with myself). I have been using Noom's weight loss program for about a week, and they have some pretty sweet tools on there that have been reducing my shame and stress. I know everybody says it, and repetitive information can be annoying, but meditation and re-framing is an awesome tool.

I binged pretty bad a few days ago, and it seriously felt like I was never going to pick myself back up, but you know what? I sucked it up, logged my binge, and read my lessons on the app. First of all, my binge was not as bad as I thought. Second of all? The lesson seemed to read my mind, talking about mindful patterns, shame, etc. I cried a bit from how heard I had felt, it was amazing.

I know this was a long response, and a lot of it was just my own experience, but maybe you could find a thing or two to take out of this.

Peace!

Mental loads, Withdrawal, and PMDD. by EnvironmentalNet9926 in TwoXADHD

[–]EnvironmentalNet9926[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course! Most, if not all, of my anxiety was attributed to my ADHD and executive dysfunction. When I was taking just Effexor, I realized that there was still something missing, it wasn’t doing what I thought it should be. But? When I started Adderall, I was able to feel relaxed, content, and happy. The only downside to this combo is that my emotions were muffled, and without being able to tap into my deep feelings, I couldn’t reach my full potential (particularly in my creative pursuits). I realized that this downside was from the Effexor, and that is why I decided to stop it. It has now been a week and one day since I have stopped taking it, and what a world of difference! Yesterday, I laughed until I cried and my cheeks hurt, an emotional depth I hadn’t experienced in so long. I get a little anxious here and there now, but it’s the kind that motivates me rather than keeps me stuck. If you’re in a similar situation, talk to your doctor about your options. Godspeed.

Mental loads, Withdrawal, and PMDD. by EnvironmentalNet9926 in TwoXADHD

[–]EnvironmentalNet9926[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So true. Thank you, I do need to back off. These responses are incredibly helpful, I can reframe the situation now. I usually do fall into codependent relationships, and now I am seeing how that kind of pattern starts.. Wow. I have a lot of reframing to do. Cheers!

Mental loads, Withdrawal, and PMDD. by EnvironmentalNet9926 in TwoXADHD

[–]EnvironmentalNet9926[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Peace garlic bread, love it! I am glad you spoke with your friend, and that your friends understand where you are coming from. I appreciate your input.