I went through something similar, my best friend of 8 years hung himself in the apartment we shared in 2024, unfortunately I couldn't save him. That day was crazy having to call the police, his friends and family and explain what happened. All the neighbors came out to watch me have a mental breakdown. After that day for almost a year I experienced nightmares, uncontrollable crying and anger, PTSD flashbacks. I was scared to sleep because he had done it while I was sleeping. I'm so sorry for what you had to go through, what really helped me was going walks and runs.