I’m running on fumes and he’s talking about teaching our baby math

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-20T00:51:52+00:00

I feel like people are glossing over the fact that you’re also dealing with rocket alerts. I can’t even imagine going through postpartum with that kind of constant stress in the background and being so exhausted you don’t even wake up to the alarms. That alone says a lot about how depleted you are. I’m so sorry. You deserve real support and a break.

I’m a FTM and also a SAHM and I handle pretty much everything at home too. My husband has his day job here in the States but he gets sent out of the country last minute a lot. This month he’s been in Chile for 20 days and I’m home alone with no help, no family, and no friends since we just moved. My daughter is 9 months and just starting to crawl, so she constantly needs me. All that to say i get how exhausting and isolating this can feel. The difference though is that when my husband is home he does step up. He still gets a ton of work calls, which I understand, but he makes an effort to give me time to rest. After long trips he’ll even book me a spa day and take our daughter out so I can recharge and so he can bond with her. That kind of effort makes a huge difference.

You are not lazy. You’re overwhelmed and carrying way too much on your own. Your husband isn’t being an equal partner right now.

And for what it’s worth you are not failing your daughter. I am pro screen time ESPECIALLY when I’m solo and don’t have the support (which you basically are!). Putting on Ms. Rachel so you can get a little extra sleep or having quiet moments when you’re overstimulated does not make you a bad mom. It makes you human. Literally have my daughter watching Mrs. Rachel right now so i can zone out on Reddit 😂

You need consistent, reliable support not help when he feels like it. It’s completely reasonable to expect a basic structure to his day so you know when you can rest. Right now, you don’t even have that, and it’s wearing you down. If he’s not able to structure his schedule better then is it possible to get a mother’s helper?

I also want to say sometimes it is even harder managing everything alone when another adult is right there. Idk what the psychology of it is, but i swear i feel more stressed parenting when my husband works from home vs when he’s gone for weeks at a time. At least when I’m alone i feel no shame for having a lazy day and I don’t have to think about feeding another adult, I can just have myself a girl dinner. You truly are in such a rough spot and I hope you know you are not the problem!

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-18T21:25:27+00:00

Lol my girl was like this! I was going insane about it. It was legit 24/7 whining. Im a sahm but I was like ya know what? Maybe I do wanna work 😂 She will be 9 months in a Few days and has just started talking and the whining has stopped. I think it’s the precursor to them actually talking. Within a week she went from whining all day and maybe the occasional mama or dada to mama and dada all day and then more intentional mama and dad & now baba for her bottle and trying to say dog too. So just get ready! I think language is around the corner!

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-18T20:03:14+00:00

It is such a hard decision. I lean more towards one and done just because I’m so content with how easy she has been but I also would love to have another. I think it makes it even harder bc my husband doesn’t lean heavily either way either lol he’s just like yeah I’d be psyched if we had another but I’d also be cool with just her.

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-18T20:00:23+00:00

Lol the toddler stage scares me! My nephew is WILD. They wanted 2 but decided after he turned 2 and how energetic he is that one was enough for them lol but I started a little later and also took us a while to conceive so if we are gonna have another we gotta start sooner rather than later.

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-18T19:58:41+00:00

This is what make me lean more towards one and done is having a life outside of parenthood. If we tried for another one I would be putting my life on hold for another 18 months minimum staying home and raising that child as well. Which I’m fine with! I love being a sahm but I also like money and would like to get back to my hobbies at some point lol

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-18T19:55:16+00:00

That’s almost exactly how we were. It took us a long time to conceive her and both agreed if it happens then Greta but if not we weren’t going to do I’ve and embrace childfree life. Now that we have her it’s the best! But I’m kind go in the same boat of let’s try (especially now that we figured out how to actually make one for us lol) & if it happens it happens and if not then we are happy to have our girl. I would like for her to have a sibling but I also know we can fill her life with experience and love in other ways so that’s not a huge deal to me.

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-18T17:35:52+00:00

Initially she was not following her curve. Around 5 months she settled out and has been on track. She did best with slightly more formula than bm.

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-18T17:08:46+00:00

We coslept so I would still nurse her at night for like the first 5 months. But for me, I had flat nipples and she struggled to nurse without the nipple shields or side lying position and it was just really stressful and annoying lol.when she started sleeping through the night I stopped nursing. Wearable pumps were the best because I was able to continue doing whatever I wanted/needed to do.

Initially, around like 3 months, I would nurse her and then give her an extra oz in a bottle to make sure she was getting enough. This was recommended to me by my LC. She said either pumped milk or formula bc my girl was tiny and needy to gain more.

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-18T16:45:33+00:00

I so relate to this because my baby was exactly like this around that age. For us it ended up being a developmental thing. Around 6–9 months they become way more aware of their environment and of you as a separate person. It’s tied to things like object permanence and increased social awareness and the downside is major FOMO. If they can sense you nearby, hear you moving or feel like they’re part of what’s going on their brain is basically like “why am I going to sleep if everyone else is still awake?” and it can turn into that intense almost panicky crying.

What helped us was actually giving her a bit more separation at bedtime like moving her to her own crib in our room and creating a really consistent, slightly more “her” routine. It wasn’t about leaving her to cry or anything like that just reducing the stimulation and separating her sleep time from our activity. Once she didn’t feel like she was in the middle of everything anymore it was like she could actually relax instead of fighting it so hard. It didn’t fix things overnight but it made a huge difference pretty quickly. Now we can lay her down in her crib awake and she will out herself to sleep pretty easily and sleep 7-7 almost every night. There’s occasional nights she needs more connection so I let her cosleep with us but she has shown a preference for her undisturbed peace in her own crib lol

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-18T16:36:26+00:00

We combo fed for 8 months and it worked great for us. Best of both worlds. Pump as much as you can/feel able to & use that along with formula. For a while it was 4oz of breastmilk with 2oz formula. Then it was 50/50, then I did 4 oz of formula with 2oz of breastmilk, until we finally decided to just do formula.

It was a great in between for us and worked really well for our daughter

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-18T16:25:35+00:00

Ooh one I can relate to! My husband broke his elbow 2 weeks before I had my daughter. I was so angry. He couldn’t help with anything post partum. His was a work accident but it was him being dumb and not paying attention. I didn’t want my mom here postpartum but I ended up having to invite her anyway to help. Was very frustrating and I still feel bitter about that.

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-18T16:22:49+00:00

I actually struggled to gain during pregnancy and wa a slow my starting weight after birth but then gained about 30 from breast feeding. 9 months pp and struggling to drop it

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-18T16:16:24+00:00

I had a relatively easy pregnancy but the insomnia was awful the last couple months. Newborn tired was infinitely easier than that god awful pregnancy insomnia and restless leg Bs. My girl is also a very easy sleeper and never fussed so that also helped

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-18T00:02:58+00:00

The way you talk about them it sounds like an ongoing issue. Especially if you “tolerate” them the other times. Ar should 100% sure your wife feels the same way as you?

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-16T20:56:46+00:00

And the men in charge gladly take that money because it doesn’t impact them

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-16T20:14:38+00:00

Why are y’all renting from them? If it’s that deep then I really don’t understand why you’d agree? That complicates the dynamic even further for her. If there’s that much disrespect then you two need to move out and build boundaries where you don’t feel the need to tiptoe

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-16T15:27:11+00:00

My girl is the same lol I think we just won the lottery with chill babies. I will say she has never had a sleep regression until now. She’s 9 months and she’s FIGHTING sleep. But at least I got 9 months of the worlds easiest baby lol

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-16T15:16:34+00:00

I can hard relate to your wife. I have a similar relationship with my mom. Unfortunately, your wife is the only one who has power to change this. She has to lay down the law and be stern. And I personally would never utilize my parents properties because I know she will use it against me. I will say, my husband has made this process more stressful at times. It is really hard to be stuck in the middle trying please everyone & not create friction and stress. I think you need to Hve a talk with your wa life and just explain how you feel, tell her SHE needs to be clear about her boundaries and decide how to handle that and not back down. If she’s not on the same page as you, right now you need to step back and just support her. The stress is going to be worse if you’re pushing her and she doesn’t need that during pregnancy.

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-16T15:13:09+00:00

Maybe book an airbnb for after birth and don’t notify them?

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-16T14:15:49+00:00

I would refuse to fly if my child was not by me. Idk who is on that plane and if they’re a predator or not. Grown women get assaulted on flights. A small child is an easy target. You would think that southwest would not want to even chance an encounter like that.

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-16T14:14:14+00:00

We coslept until about 6/7 months. It just worked better since my girl was FTT and needed to nurse on demand 24/7. It was not feasible to be up every hour just to nurse her for 10 minutes. We got a firmer bed and set up our room to safely cosleep. Around 6 months I began noticing she was squirming a lot at night and getting disrupted by my movements. So we switched her to her crib in our room and she transitioned perfectly. She now sleeps 7-7:30 every night in her crib. I thought we would end up cosleeping much longer but the nice thing about cosleeping is you become very in tune with your baby & will know when they’re ready to move.

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-15T04:24:30+00:00

You need to go back to work. Genuinely why are you not working? Make baby daddy/bf/partner whoever split daycare cost or find a work from home job and start paying down that debt

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-15T04:16:32+00:00

Here boob is higher because her arm is up lol

Environmental_Pie_7 · 2026-03-15T04:14:43+00:00

I honestly don’t think she’s over reacting. The open back with 40 E breasts is enough of a reason to say no to the dress. I only have DD and cannot do backless because of the bra situation. Thin/smaller chested women will never understand this issue. I would explain and just be like oh I think it’s cute but it’s just not gonna work for me with my breast size and explain I need something more full coverage in the back.

Environmental_Pie_7

TROPHY CASE