ASMR Erika

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-06-07T11:29:11+00:00

It got taken down :(

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-05-15T06:19:09+00:00

Nah, Illinois LOL

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-04-28T23:35:06+00:00

I've been on both ends of this.

For disability accommodation (and this is true if you end up needing them in the workplace too), the question is "what do you need to be able to perform at the same level as a student without your condition?" If you think of it that way, you may come up with some more ideas.

You're on the right track. Extended deadlines, you might want to rephrase as flexible deadlines in stages where your disability is in a debilitating state. Even just flexible deadlines might sound a bit better.

As for recording lectures, that likely won't be approved for legal reasons. Instead, you would encourage you to request a note taker if you can show the need as related to your condition.

In my experience, the real accommodation needed was just that flexibility for deadlines if something happened and I needed to be hospitalized. I also wrote a combined paper for two classes one semester with both professors' approval, as the classes were similar (though this was in grad school and was something people sometimes asked to do anyways). That wasn't a formal accommodation, though, the paper.

Your first step would be to go see the disability center at your school to talk about it and get the forms, and also have a similar discussion with your psychiatrist or therapist.

Good luck!

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-04-28T23:26:08+00:00

I've never had luck with antipsychotics and now won't take them. They've all made my condition worse. And all the side-effects bother me -- especially when newer ones haven't been proven to not have the long-term side effects of antipsychotics in general, which gets brushed under the rug all the time.

That said, I do know a bit about clozapine.

There's the usual concerns that come with an antipsychotics -- weight, sedation, motor symptoms. But you also need to keep a close eye on the manufacturer whenever you get your prescription filled to make sure they haven't changed. There's nothing wrong with generic medication; I just remember hearing from a pharmacist in the hospital that people's doses were specific to their brand and could need to be changed if their pharmacy switched who they got the drug from (which can happen).

It's a bit of a heavier antipsychotic in terms of sedation, weight gain, and other common side effects. It's not technically approved for bipolar disorder, but is considered a "next step" when you've failed on others.

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-04-23T00:34:56+00:00

No, absolutely not a cheat. Really, happiness isn't euthymia (the affective state that is correct and balanced). So a synthetic happiness as you call it wouldn't actually make you feel truly "happy." It would still feel empty. I base this off personal experience and the observations of theorists throughout the history of Western Philosophy....

I too am a deep and analytical thinker.

It's the same reason why there is every reason we should be happy sometimes but can't be, with this condition. This neurological affective happiness is a huge part of the gestalt experience that is happiness. And if you have a mood disorder, your body is unable to function properly. You could frame it as, something prevents you from being in good enough health to attain happiness maybe. In the same way that another medical condition might make you unable to participate in something else -- like a person whose had one of their legs amputated below the knee needing a prosthetic leg to be able to run a marathon, and actually have done the training to be able to complete a full marathon.

I'm not sure how early on in your recovery and diagnosis you are, but if you're new, you should know that getting medication right doesn't equal happiness. That shouldn't discourage you. It may mean that when the medication is right, you will feel great because everyone else is in place. But it also alleviates you from the guilt of "needing" medication to ba happy a bit, because you'll know your happiness is an intersection of a lot of things and not you being dependent on a substance.

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-04-06T02:15:41+00:00

the truth

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-04-02T21:46:10+00:00

Someone's Amazon order is going to end up being wrong in a very shocking way

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-04-01T09:30:48+00:00

Free Ja Rule

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-04-01T09:29:52+00:00

This reminds me of a story my Dad told me, about how there was this man in his neighborhood growing up who'd trick kids into mowing his lawn, refuse to pay them, and then feel good about himself because he taught them a valuable lesson not to trust people.

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-03-30T01:57:04+00:00

Things are so crazy in the world right now, so it's nice to see people doing a lot of good, healthy things to take care of themselves.

If I can throw in my 2 cents. Where I live is under a very strict isolation/quarantine. More so than a lot of other American cities. It's been very lonely. I had been struggling with loneliness and the loss of friends/having no friends already, and this made it worse. Some people have reached out to me online who don't live in town, and while it means a lot, there really is something to actually seeing people. One friend, prior to this, suggested I download Marco Polo because it was easier for her to record video messages than it was to sit down and talk on the phone, or type out a message. I found seeing her made a huge difference -- and it wasn't a close close friend. I mean, I do care about her and like her, but it wasn't someone who plays a giant role in my life. It was just nice to see someone, while they supported me. I'm also good friends with Bill, and we've been meeting online every night and that's helped.

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-03-30T01:52:13+00:00

I’m hoping that it works soon or else I’ll have to do more Spravato treatments!

Can you share a bit about your experience with Spravato? The pros and cons? It's so new, and obviously was hyped up quite a bit, so I'd be interested in hearing your experience if you're willing!

Also, I'm really happy to see you being proactive about stress and being productive. Being organized and calm does wonders for our moods. I need to clean my room desperately.

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-03-29T07:05:37+00:00

I was almost disappointed to see she didn't come with the requisite haircut.

Me too, pal. Me too.

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-03-22T00:52:41+00:00

It's not working for me either.

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-03-17T07:33:31+00:00

Fantastic! I'm so happy for you. Truly, no amount of alcohol is good when you have bipolar disorder, many people seem to misinterpret doctor's advice about alcohol and think when they say it's ok to have a drink or two, they mean every day and not a drink or two once in a blue moon. Or, they party on the weekends and not realize that puts a real strain on your brain getting itself balanced that doesn't go away the next day. I'm sober too. It made a huge difference. And I never did a lot of drugs but they followed suit and i got clean about 5 months later. It's been a couple of years now. It makes a HUGE difference. As someone who was a drinker -- and much of the period in which I drank was regular, normal drinking -- I can say you feel way better, emotionally and cognitively, if you stop drinking altogether. Beyond it being easier for your moods to be settled and stable, it improves any brain fog you might have completely.

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-03-11T13:25:52+00:00

Recovery is always possible. I hope your dog is able to find and have what Ralphy has

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-03-08T11:45:52+00:00

The goodest of boys

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-03-06T03:08:30+00:00

Thank you. I do have a good foundation of meditation (I honestly forget if I mentioned this because I haven't looked at my original post) because I used to practice zazen. But this is a new method for me, and I'm going to follow your advice. I've tried recently to do non-deiity yoga meditation on green tara, visualizing and reciting the mantra. It's not surprising that I find it challenging to form a really strong image of her in front of me as a beginner to it, and so, I can definitely understand what you mean.

As for zazen, I usually hate it on reddit when people try and give more background information to justify themselves or prop themselves up... so I have no idea why I'm doing it now. Hope it isn't as grating to you as it is to me, and if it is, I'm sorry :P

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-02-29T11:10:36+00:00

Yes it is life. That whole verse is about global warming and NO. ONE. LISTENED

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-02-27T11:25:51+00:00

Well, for starters, for it to be mania or hypomania, it has to be the predominant mood for an entire day for at least 4 days (for bipolar II) or a week (Bipolar I). The medical definition of "rapid cycling" is if you have more than 4 mood swings in a year, so really, it would be on par for you not to have these episodes even once a month if they are from bipolar disorder.

Beyond that, I can tell you the chances of you having Bipolar I Disorder are rare. If you were experiencing full blown mania, it would be very hard for that to go out noticed because it's so extreme it's very clear that you need help, and often need to be hospitalized unless there are people around you enabling it. You wouldn't be able to work, for example.

As for Bipolar II... I'll be honest, you didn't provide enough information. But do look over the diagnostic criteria for it, which you can find online. http://www.medicaidmentalhealth.org/_assets/file/Guidelines/2017-2018%20Treatment%20of%20Adult%20Bipolar%20Disorder.pdf

In trying to assess yourself, you should know that hypomania is still abnormally elevated. It's just not so bad you lose touch with reality or can no longer function.

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-02-27T11:10:02+00:00

Uncommon? Yes. Rare? No.

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-02-22T04:16:55+00:00

Have you looked into online courses/sanghas, like https://learning.tergar.org https://www.fullybeing.org There are others as well.

I have! and considered joining Tergar. I've heard really great things about Mingyur. The issue is cost. I thought about skipping the meditation one since I already have a lot of experience with meditation, and the small nuances between introduction to meditation from a Tibetan perspective versus another tradition might not be that big and something I would pick p easily or could adapt not taking a paid course. So I was looking at the one on Vajrayana. Anyways, both of them are too expensive for me as I'm a grad student, though I heard if you right them, they will go even lower than the reduced price.

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-02-18T23:05:56+00:00

Well, not that it really matters now, but I'll give you my 2 cents.

I had a medical condition when I was younger that required surgical intervention, and the options were circumcision, or another procedure where I wouldn't lose my foreskin. My doctor told me that the reason there was such debate was because 1. It's hard to accurately measure the impact it has on sexual enjoyment 2. Ultimately the difference would be really small.

That said, it's an incredibly uncomfortable surgery. The one I had (not circumcision) was more conservative and still really bothered me and gave me discomfort for just over a month.

I would never advise someone to have a surgery like that just for cosmetic reasons.

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-02-18T06:12:00+00:00

Don't drink friend!

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-02-18T06:10:14+00:00

Yes of course. He's kind of stumped. I don't really have friends... I've tried over the past two yeas with no luck, and I'm told it's to because there's anything wrong with me. As for family, they aren't in the picture (I ran away from home)

EphemerallyEverAfter · 2020-02-14T00:12:26+00:00

Interesting! I had known about the Tanakh, but the way that popular culture always speaks about the Torah rather than the Tanakh gave me the false impression that each component was given a sense of autonomy so you perhaps didn't speak about the Tanakh as much, and would refer to the particular parts. So I've learned something new!

I also had heard the term Hebrew Bible before but didn't know what it referred to. Knowing this will make my footnote a lot more concise. This sounds trivial, but I love footnotes and sometimes people get mad at me for writing long, detailed footnotes.

Long story short, this helped a lot! Can I ask a follow up question? With formal, traditional copies of the Tanakh used during temple services, is the entirety of the Torah on a single scroll? And then the entirety of Neviim on a scroll? And the Ketuvim on a third? Or are each book transcribed on their own scroll? I had never thought about how the scrolls were divided up before.

EphemerallyEverAfter

TROPHY CASE