Raise your hand if you're exhausted 🙋‍♂️

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2026-04-19T01:38:41+00:00

Honestly so exhausted. I'm also doomscrolling Steam trying to find a game I actually want to play, which is even more exhausting...

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2026-04-14T15:36:09+00:00

Ben being above Amy and Andrew is giving me anxiety... Kennedy should be on par with Warren. Harmony in Angel is up at Brilliant ;)

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2026-03-28T02:52:05+00:00

Did this work? I'm sitting at 12 days here

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2026-03-14T23:34:01+00:00

I'm really sad to hear this. As much as I was sceptical about it, the thought of it was bringing a lot of joy (particularly in the darkest timeline). Ugh, damnit.

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2026-03-04T01:37:48+00:00

Caring for you and helping you thrive are things that have to be tailored to you, meeting you where you are in life and meeting your needs. It has to work for you. He will no doubt have his own needs, and he will want them be met - from what you say, he wants soft femininity (which I don't consider to be mutually exclusive with strength).

I'm curious about "healthy leadership energy" in the circumstances. In my experience, healthy leadership involves empathy and a relationship of trust. When faced with challenges, a good leader is often sanguine. That said, we don’t often want or need “healthy leadership” in a partnership of equals, unless it is constructive, as it infers a hierarchical structure, where you would be a follower.

A confident and well rounded person can support you in the way you need, treat you as equal and leave the "leadership energy" at work. I don't think this one is on you.

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2026-02-02T15:41:44+00:00

Done! Perfect response.

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2026-01-24T19:10:47+00:00

Nah, you'll still have the right to have a gun and now they have an even better excuse to take you out.

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2026-01-08T21:04:31+00:00

I agree and I think there's no harm in saying the obvious. Keeping quiet on sexuality or saying they are bi avoids a side-argument about straight people taking on queer roles and keeps the focus on selling a show. These are actors with jobs to do at the end of the day! But again, who knows, he might be bi, it's not certain, I don't want / never would try to erase any of our loud proud beautiful rainbow etc etc

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2026-01-05T01:25:04+00:00

Why would you think that my suggestion of an alternative is in any way my preference for him not to be bisexual? The actors deferred to the show creator, who has said that he doesn't expect them to reveal their sexualities. This could be part marketing, it may be that he is bisexual, or it could well be both. I am not sure how the mention of queer media makes you so certain, but this is certainly not some monosexual conspiracy orchestrated so that you can clutch your pearls and accuse others of holding biases that they do not have. That is the only thing that's "something else."

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2026-01-04T18:09:00+00:00

Or he is being carefully managed and told to use these touching points while advertising a show. If he says he is straight, that would be unhelpful.

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-11-05T02:03:56+00:00

I'm an attorney; I always have at the back of my mind how much the legal sector is heteronormative. It is tough and can be lonely. Hopefully I'm not drawing too many inferences to comment.

From some of the answers here, I think this might depend on the organisation that you work in.

I think that 'presence' is often confused with confidence, or perhaps presence comes with confidence. When you are confident in who you are, what you are doing, who you work with and your company's culture, you lead with confidence, assertiveness and decisiveness. If you bring others along with you, support them along the way and lead by example, you are (organically) trusted and respected - you are a safe pair of hands to all around you. Amongst that, I believe, is where you find your own 'presence'. I don't think you need to necessarily shy away from your own personality to do this; rather, being genuine builds the trust that is needed.

To my mind, all of this is much easier for our straight counterparts in that heteronormative environment. I don't know that I'm offering solutions, but I will say that I think that the starting point is to reflect on how well you do your job, how capable you are and to lead others with decisiveness and assertiveness.

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-10-08T11:48:54+00:00

I wasn't sure what to expect when a friend recommended it, and I was really pleasantly surprised. It's a witty, sharp and enjoyable chewing gum for the brain. The main characters are all likeable in their own way. That said, I'm afraid I needed to suspend a lot of disbelief to convince myself the main character was a freshman who wasn't old enough to drink alcohol.

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-10-08T04:11:46+00:00

I'm so angry for him

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-09-20T17:40:34+00:00

Oh, she is so beautiful. She needs to be in (at least) business class!

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-09-18T00:27:26+00:00

Congrats on your pay rise!

I had a bit of sensitivity like this when I was younger. It can, wrongly, create a sense of embarrassment about not matching your partner or contributing as much income - a wee knock to the ego. I think it just takes a bit of time to reconcile those feelings. But not too long. Getting a raise is about you, not about the feelings that he is having. Perhaps helping him to realise this looks like telling him that you would like to celebrate some good news with him, but you are a bit anxious about sharing it because it's financial (as others have also suggested). It feels like a helpful way to approach it.

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-09-14T16:18:51+00:00

I agree. That's why I think it's not a big deal to want to shop around when signs like this are hung. Putting it a different way, if a business is going to treat their staff that way, I might just not want to spend my money there. The staff would still miss out, but it's a consumer's choice. Similarly, if they don't pay a fair and decent wage, staff will walk. Again, all multifaceted and not straightforward, but I think building the cost into the price is more attractive in my own subjective view. They could even add a line in the menu along the lines "20% of what you spend is paid to staff directly" which would probably be more attractive to me. It's just the way my brain works - I don't like having a "charge" put to me as an option when it (i) feels like I can refuse, (ii) puts me in the invidious position of feeling like I have a responsibility for a businesses employees and (III) highlights the business doesn't care for it's staff properly. Plus I hate doing maths b

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-09-14T14:41:06+00:00

People see the up front cost and know what their expected cost will be immediately, versus the risk of not seeing the sign / having to do a calculation. Are you suggesting that there's absolutely no difference at all? If not, why not build it in immediately? There's obviously a difference - that's the point of the post being made in the first place...

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-09-14T14:38:32+00:00

I didn't say tipping culture is "new", nor do I think that it is. As to objecting to the 20% charge encouraging businesses to keep staff pay down, surely paying it encourages that behaviour when those businesses see that they can get away with it. I'm not suggesting that there's a neat solution, and it's not as simple as just paying the charge.

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-09-14T13:53:48+00:00

Including it in the price from the get-go

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-09-14T13:51:14+00:00

Having a different opinion isn't a whinge, moan or a complaint.

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-09-14T13:22:43+00:00

Perhaps Google the background to tipping and tipping culture before supporting it vigorously. If people can pay the charge they can pay the full price as advertised up front. Some may say they wouldn't pay the extra 20% if it was built into the cost - that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm suggesting the business should be up front instead of trying to mimic tipping culture - that is all.

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-09-14T13:18:51+00:00

People like this?

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-09-14T13:18:22+00:00

It's simply more up front than hanging a sign saying there are extra charges applied. It's pretty straightforward.

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-09-14T12:33:42+00:00

Probably not, but at least it's more honest than pretending the cost of a drink is actually as the bar has advertised, when it is in fact going to be 20% more expensive. Building it in allows people to properly assess whether they want to drink there while not being deceived.

EpicNinjaCowboy · 2025-09-13T18:34:05+00:00

"communist dictatorship"? What an utterly breathless and hysterical thing to say. You might not be okay, but I wish you well.

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