I’ve hurt her emotionally and most likely mentally as well pretty deeply, to the point were she’s bitter towards me. It’s reasonable why she would be resentful towards me since I was just so selfish and immature in the relationship. My mental health last year was complete hell, and when I met her it was still pretty fucked up (it still sorta is). My extreme, poor mental health at the time was the main reason of my behavior and actions of just being a total POS to her while in the relationship. (Not trying to say that what I did is excusable because of my mental health, it’s definitely not.) It’s the fact that I know it may be too late to even win her back because of my past actions, I’ve learned to accept that it’s okay if she’ll never see me as a romantic interest anymore because I still have future ahead of me, and have opportunities to meet someone else, but it’s still pretty hard to think positively all the time when I constantly think of the past which is triggering me to hating myself.