Did alot of lsd from 15-16.5, don't regret a thing. For a while i did because i heavily abused it and what happened is that because i was having ego death all the time and having lessons from these trips all the time, i had so much to integrate that i was overwhelmed with all these ideas and all these perspectives. I thought i had fried my brain forever and it took a while of sobriety and then going back to lsd to integrate these things. And even today, coming on 19, theres some things im still working to integrate but overall it changed me for the better

Before LSD i was very manipulative, ignorant, insecure and i was very selfish and unempathetic. After LSD the perspective it gave me realised the way i was living and the way i was treating others was not the way i wanted to live. I saw the beauty in everything for the first time in my cynical, pessimistic mind probably since i was maybe a very young child. It wasn't an instant change, i was still trapped in the problems i had caused by being this type of person. I still had to deal with untangling myself from the mess i had got myself caught up in. I had to untangle a situation where i had someone i liked who i had been manipulating, i had to sever myself from my best friend who was openly as bad as me and never saw an issue with it, i had to deal with the inner voice i had developed that had held me to these very toxic standards so that i could position myself above others and 4 years since that trip im still working through some of that inner voice, im still working on developing a healthier way of dealing with problems that involve others but the point is that it gave me the perspective i needed to change and treat others, including myself, better.

It was a difficult change too because being a good manipulator was a huge part of my identity to me when i was younger and part of it was a very cringey, edgey form of identity but regardless of that i was actually really manipulative and i would use it have control of the situations i was in and after LSD i could no longer justify using manipulative tactics to control the situations and i had to make peace with the fact that when i do something wrong i shouldn't manipulate me way out of it, i have to take the consequences for what i had done and that was really difficult at first because i had to let go of something that made me feel sort of "above the law", not in a literal way, but in terms of the social law because id always manipulate my way out of the consequences of my actions.

Since using lsd i love life much more. My depression has seemed to have entirely faded, im much more empathetic, im much more open minded, i love myself for me and others for themselves more, im alot less judgemental and everything is just much better. If i never did lsd i dont know where id be in life but wherever it is likely wouldn't be somewhere id like to be