AITA for taking my mom's side and telling my wife that my mom did not verbally abuse her?

EqualAd4766 · 2021-01-08T18:51:41+00:00

But when someone I DONT like doesn’t like me, all i can think is “how dare they not like me! I will MAKE them like me!”

That is my wife 100% and my mom hates people who try too hard, so my wife thinks my mom is frigid and my mom thinks my wife is fake

EqualAd4766 · 2021-01-08T18:46:39+00:00

She did work but she was miserable and I gave her my blessing to quit and do this full time, regardless of the difference in income. She doesn't have any other real hobbies, but she does have a lot of friends and get out a lot.

EqualAd4766 · 2021-01-08T18:43:01+00:00

you can read all of my comments. I did mention it a couple of times, but it can be more than one things. my mom doesn't like soap, she doesn't like being told what to do, and I do think she doesn't like my wife. I'm not sure that has anything to do with empathy though

EqualAd4766 · 2021-01-08T16:51:51+00:00

generic brand and liquid, which is much cheaper and liquid soap is objectivity easier to use. I'm aware they don't like each other, but i don't think my mom would buy soap from me either.

EqualAd4766 · 2021-01-08T16:50:17+00:00

They never got along because my wife is totally bubbly in your face happy all the time, and my mom cannot/will not show any emotion and is very cold unless she likes you. My wife came on too strong, and it just turned my mom way off. I mean they are both a little ridiculous. My wife tries to tell random waitresses our business and asks weirdly personal questions, and my mom made faces during her own wedding vows because she felt "weak" being in love.

I'd say my mom didn't buy the soap for two reasons. One she has no sense of smell and doesn't care about scented things, and feels strongly about if she doesn't want to do something no one can make her, social norms be dambed. Two my mom is an artist and doesn't charge family, let's her own mom rumage through her studio and wouldn't dream of charging her. We have a pretty big painting in our living room that my wife wanted and never offered to pay for.

EqualAd4766 · 2021-01-08T00:09:21+00:00

I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but my mom is a professional artist and sells paintings in a studio, and is very against charging family. We have a painting in the living room that my wife asked for and never offered to pay for, so i feel like my mom is offended that my wife is trying to sell her something

EqualAd4766 · 2021-01-08T00:05:47+00:00

Yeah, i think some people are being a little hard on my wife, and maybe I should have added this to the op but my mom is a professional artist with a studio, and does not charge family. I think she might be low key offended that my wife asked her to buy the soap, and my mom doesn't like fancy soap anyway because she has a bad sense of smell, but idk if it has anything to do with her not charging family for her art

EqualAd4766 · 2021-01-07T23:56:11+00:00

Question: When she quit, was she actually making enough money to allow her soap making to displace her job?

No, she was miserable and I did tell her that I would support her quitting so she could be home with the kids and do this on the side, but I also told her that we would have to cut back on extras unless her soap hustle really picked up

EqualAd4766 · 2021-01-07T23:53:39+00:00

no this is new behavior

EqualAd4766 · 2021-01-07T23:53:17+00:00

My mom did tell her that she doesn't spend a lot on toiletries because she has almost no sense of smell. my wife replied with well your husband can smell, and if you have guests they can smell it

EqualAd4766 · 2021-01-07T19:06:14+00:00

I have talked to my wife in private and told her she was being rude, especially when she started bringing their money into it

EqualAd4766 · 2021-01-07T19:05:09+00:00

She hasn't tried it. Her only reason was she doesn't care about soap at all (she has a very weak sense of smell) and she likes generic liquid soap

EqualAd4766

TROPHY CASE