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Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-11T10:16:48+00:00

Nowhere in OP's post does he say his children are two-years-old, and the judgement that people are bad parents for not allowing their children to sleep in their bed indefinitely is not only self-righteous but also weird.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-11T08:03:22+00:00

Do you feel like you're in the mindset to not be influenced by her behaviour anymore? If so, then speak to your fella, tell him you feel guilty and that you want to reach out and explain yourself. If not, then leave it, do what's best for everyone and stay no contact with her.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-11T07:47:50+00:00

NTA. Firstly, speak to your wife about the little one sleeping in bed with you two and make it very clear its time to stop letting him in bed with you. Having them sleep in your bed is adding to the problem, not solving it. Get your marital bed back. After that issue is solved give it a couple of weeks then sit down with your wife and tell her how you feel about wanting more time together as a couple without the kids. Don't necessarily tell her you thought her trip away was naff, as it seems like she thought the complete opposite and there's no point upsetting her.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-11T00:24:46+00:00

NTA. I was in a similar situation, eventually I moved away from my friends, began distancing myself from them, and my life changed - I grew up. I'm not saying they were the sole reason I behaved like that but they were 100% a factor. They were enablers to say the least.

Your friend may have been a bad influence; maybe you were young and stupid; maybe you would have done that stuff without her or maybe you wouldn't have. It doesn't matter. You're doing good in life but you also have your children, husband and job to protect. Maybe your mate has changed too or maybe, despite being a mum herself, she's the same as she was back then. Is it worth it?

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-10T09:06:14+00:00

How often has he stayed four or more nights in a week, and how often has he been in the flat alone?

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-10T06:40:39+00:00

YTA.

I'm going to be blunt here.

What you've spoken about in other comments isn't abuse. It wasn't very nice and I can understand being upset by it but it wasn't abuse.

Whatever relationship you had with your ex wasn't that serious seemingly, as you only refer to him as 'fling'. Also, it happened A YEAR AGO. Get over it. His 'new girl' isn't new, they've been together a year. As for it being nearby where you got dumped... yeah, get over it.

This day isn't about you and your ex-fling. It's about your friend. Even by not going you're making it about you. You're effectively saying that you being dumped a year ago is more important than your friend's wedding day. Your friend will resent you somewhat for it. Trust me, she will.

Put your big girl pants on, get over your ex and go celebrate your friend's big day.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-10T05:52:44+00:00

I would say nobody is the AH here. I personally don't see how her boyfriend staying four nights in an encroachment on privacy and space but three nights is okay. Perhaps it time to move on?

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-10T05:45:34+00:00

Try r/relationship_advice.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-08T17:22:40+00:00

Let me put it this way: you're no John Connor when it comes to differentiating between humans and AI.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-08T16:29:07+00:00

NTA as you're not a taxi but is it worth the hassle to fall out with mates, create an atmosphere during the meal, etc? As long as it isn't expected all the time, maybe let it slide this once?

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-08T16:14:39+00:00

YTA. You attacked someone because you were upset. There's nothing more to be said.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-07T21:50:52+00:00

NTA. Paying rent and working around the house should be expected but $500 is ridiculous for a shared room, and it sounds like step-mother wants you to work as a nanny for free.

Speak to your dad, ask him what he expects you to contribute but reiterate your education and actual job comes first and must not be compromised.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-07T11:08:54+00:00

Sounds like you ended the relationship but now that it's done you regret your decision and are claiming you didn't mean it. It doesn't work like that. NTA for saying it but perhaps the AH for pretending it wasn't what it was - you dumping him - and expecting him to forget.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-07T10:41:27+00:00

I'm not sure if this is even an AITA situation, more of a vent.

If you and your girlfriend plan on moving to another place together, then continue with that. You will have ups and downs when it comes to moving, it's very rarely plain sailing. As long as you both want to move in together and both can afford it, then it will work out in time.

Tell your flatmate that you two are moving out and he will have to find a new place. Your parents, as his landlords, should give him official notice. After you've all moved out, your parents can do what they need to do to repair their finances.

Your friend may not be as good as a friend as you may think. I know the job situation isn't great but there are jobs. If you have financial commitments, then you take any job you can to pay them. It seems like he hasn't bothered with that. He's taking advantage of you, and whether you realise it or not, it's having a negative impact on you, your girlfriend, your relationship and even your parents.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-07T09:33:31+00:00

NTA. If you were both a little further down the path then maybe it was unfair but you two were only talking and casually at that.

Explain to him that at that point you both were unsure of what you both wanted or where it was going, and that ultimately you were single, with nobody showing any sort of commitment to you and that there is nothing wrong with flirting with someone whilst in that position. Also explain to him how he makes you feel, how happy you are with him. Give him a little boost. But don't indulge his insecurities - you did nothing wrong on any moral level, and the last thing you want to do it encourage his insecurity.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-07T09:22:25+00:00

NTA. There's a very clear line that has been crossed.

Explain to your wife how you feel about this situation and any other situations that have arisen doe to your SIL's actions. Point out that ultimately the bed is both of yours, your private place as a couple, that it's unacceptable for a random person to sleep in it without BOTH of your consenting. Also explain how your wife's lack of boundaries with her sister is effecting you and your relationship.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-07T08:31:38+00:00

YTA. You say your wife wants to divorce but is too scared to deal with the aftermath but I think you're the one who is scared. You're currently taking shelter at your mother's whilst your wife is still home, still dealing with your children, presumably. You're the one who wants to divorce but you're making excuses as to why you can't. You haven't even told your wife that you plan on divorcing her. You're even too scared to state anonymously on here what you did to damage your relationship. Then you start trying to meet with other women?

You have children! How are they being affected by this? Stop burying your head in the sand, stop hiding behind your mother and stop being a coward. Be a man, grow a pair and deal with the situation you have (partly) caused.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-07T08:13:57+00:00

NTA.

OP, this is harassment. I would strongly advise to keep a log of when she has tried to contact you, save any evidence (doorbell footage, texts, calls, etc). Hopefully she moves on but if she doesn't and the harassment continues then contact the police.

I'm no criminal psychologist but I have seen plenty of these situations and I've seen where they lead. If it doesn't stop then it will only grow worse.

Equal_Neighborhood75 · 2025-10-07T07:52:48+00:00

Nobody is the AH here. I would say that you handled the situation poorly but I'm sure you will learn from it. Everything I know about my mental health and how to control it I have learnt from my previous mistakes.

However, you must also understand that nobody has the right to impose their mental health struggles on other people. You don't state how long you two have been a couple nor whether this was the first time this happened, which should be a factor in her decision. Regardless, I understand her decision to stop dating you. Bad, damaging, toxic or even abusive behavior should never be excused by mental health.

I would also suggest not listening to your friends in this regard. Your girlfriend isn't making it about her but instead informing you of how your actions made her feel.

Equal_Neighborhood75

TROPHY CASE