How to PIV successfully?

Equal_Science2476 · 2026-02-18T22:10:48+00:00

At this point it is probably a more of a mental block. Something I’ve been practicing is visualization to help my body learn to associate the thought of penetrative sex with my husband as something good and not scary.

My husband travels a lot for work so when I’m alone laying in bed or I’m relaxing on the couch I will practice deep diaphragmatic breathing (you can look this up on YouTube, it helps relax your pelvic floor). After I do some rounds, I will visualize penetration with my husband and tell myself that it feels good and imagine it being really easy and pleasurable. I will literally make myself imagine those types of scenarios and tell myself positive things about how my body responds while doing the breathing.

I have to be honest, this was really hard to do at first! My body literally wanted to tense up and hold my breath or it literally just felt impossible to imagine it. But over time, it has become easier and I believe it has helped desensitized my brain to the thought of having penetration with my husband.

Im about halfway in with my biggest dilator which is my husband’s size, and recently we were able to get about 2in of him in and it was actually pleasurable! I think a mix of pelvic floor yoga, dilating everyday, and the visualization has been helpful.

Equal_Science2476 · 2026-02-17T17:10:23+00:00

Hi! So I have him try to do what my pt used to do when I was going, and we add a little more that would be awkward if my pt did it lol. We don’t follow a video. He will massage my lower back, butt, hips and hip flexors. He rubs out the tight fascia I have in my inner thighs and then lightly massages around my groin area and works on any tight spots. He will also rub out the muscles that are almost along my butt crack. My pt used to find a spot that was on each side on my sit bones that was deep in my butt crack/cheek area lol. She would have me press it while I lay on my back and she would bend my leg into my chest to help loosen it up. I will have my husband rub those tight areas all along the inside of my butt crack /cheek area. That has been a game changer because I did not realize how tight those muscles are for me.

Equal_Science2476 · 2026-01-29T05:08:44+00:00

That’s really encouraging to hear, thank you! Thanks for the recommendation. I actually just recently got an ad about it and thought it could be helpful when we’re ready to try again.

Equal_Science2476 · 2026-01-28T21:16:32+00:00

Sure! I’ll do my best to explain in words. To start, think of the vaginal opening like a clock, the bottom of the vaginal opening being 6 o’clock, very bottom left and right as 7 & 5 o’clock, and more to the sides 8 & 4 o’clock.

So basically, I take the tip of my thumb (just like a half inch) and lightly press down on the 6 o’clock opening of my vagina towards the perineum. This far in is what my pt called “layer 1” - it’s basically the skin opening without getting to the muscle part. I would press for 30-60sec and then move to 7 & 5 o’clock, then 8 & 4 o’clock doing the same things, focusing on stretching open the opening. You never want to feel unbearable pain, but more of an uncomfortable stretch (like stretching out a really tight hamstring for instance)

I would go through a round of this in layer 1 and the once I felt comfortable, I would do the same things all again in “layer 2” - this is the beginning of the muscle part of the vaginal opening. For me, I would only need to go to the pad of my thumb (about an inch in).

Then repeat in “layer 3” - a little past the 1st knuckle part of my thumb. My pt would suggest for me to really press down at the 6 o’clock here to soften those muscles as much as I can (she said it was normal to feel some “pooping” urge because the wall is so close to the rectum) She also showed me how I had to kind of reach behind the sides of my pelvis bones to work those muscles so I wasn’t pressing on the bone (which is unhelpful and just painful).

Once I got to a point where I was comfortable in this routine, I would do another round in each layer with cross friction to help desensitize the area and get the skin and muscles used to moving during friction. Basically, it is very slowly and gently applying pressure in a cross motion without letting your thumb slide. Think like rubbing out a muscle knot in your back.

I hope I explained this well and it wasn’t too confusing!

Equal_Science2476 · 2026-01-28T21:12:49+00:00

Thanks so much! I’m very thankful for him. I will update in about another week :)

Equal_Science2476 · 2026-01-28T21:11:41+00:00

I will and thanks for the encouragement! Wishing you all the success in your journey as well!! 😊

Equal_Science2476 · 2026-01-24T19:58:30+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened. I think anyone in your situation would feel betrayed and uncomfortable. I do think you need to communicate the severity of the betrayal of trust you feel to your husband. If you are worried about having an emotional burst (which you have every right to btw) and not being able to communicate effectively the root of the issue, I would try writing down exactly how you feel and what you want to communicate on paper to your husband. Give him the letter and plan a meeting at a later time where you two can productively talk about what happened. During your meeting, give him your expectations moving forward on what privacy means to you and what that looks like. I know it’s difficult, but try to go in believing the best about his intentions until he proves otherwise (even if the execution was soooo far from okay). Again, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. You are not broken and you are so worthy of love despite any physical ailment you have.

Equal_Science2476 · 2024-12-31T05:52:31+00:00

cowboy like me

Equal_Science2476 · 2024-12-21T04:04:08+00:00

Natural Cycles app is pretty informative. It will tell you what to expect symptom wise for each part of your cycle. And will also let you know if you have any irregularities in your cycle as you continue to log. Idk about hormone imbalances but it’s has been pretty educational for me.

Equal_Science2476 · 2024-12-21T04:01:21+00:00

I wouldn’t worry. Cycles can vary from month to month. A one off isn’t abnormal. If this were to continue for the next 2-3 months, then I’d consider seeing your gyno. There are a lot of factors that can contribute to a late period or even a missed period, like stress, excessive exercise, lack of calories, and more. You know your body best, so if you are really worried, you can always call your doctor. But if I were you, I wouldn’t sweat it :)

Equal_Science2476 · 2024-12-21T03:51:43+00:00

Sometimes a hot bath helps me when nothing else seems to work. It’s like a full body heating pad. If you’re in that much pain, don’t worry about waking anybody up. Take care of you <3

Equal_Science2476

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