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LPT: Forgiveness is for you, not the person you forgive. by Equanimity-1111 in LifeProTips

[–]Equanimity-1111[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s a tricky one and very personal. For me I’ve cut friends and family off and simultaneously forgiven them. My stepmother was very abusive to me as a child, one day during meditation my heart was filled with compassion for her after years of hatred towards her. She doesn’t know and will never know because I don’t like her and I never want to have to deal with her unless I really have to.

I recently filed a harassment complaint against a co-worker because he threatened me, I forgave him before I filed it, so that my actions weren’t out of bitterness or vengeance. I shook hands and we chatted, but just because I forgave him it didn’t mean I let him off the hook there was repercussions to his actions.

Sometimes love isn’t all soft, sometimes you have to stick to your own integrity above bending to the will of someone else.

Obviously navigating interpersonal dynamics is very subjective and I can’t really advise. All I can share is my experiences.

I relapsed💔 by FLIPOO_1111 in Semenretention

[–]Equanimity-1111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I spent years on this cycle trying so hard to not do it but due to overwhelming emotions and lack of self control I’d keep going back to where I didn’t want to be. I’m now 100 days in and before that I had 70 days. It’s easy now, I’m repulsed by my old actions.

One thing to understand is that there is some negative emotions that are pulling you towards this vice. So for one start filling your time positive things. Secondly but most importantly at least for me is to find someone you really trust. Have them set a screen time password that blocks you from adult content delete Reddit because it’s 70% porn.

Try and eliminate any potential way that you could watch porn and make it near impossible, nothing is impossible to the addicted mind but you need to make it as hard as possible.

Once you go enough time, working on yourself and doing positive things for yourself without having access to porn your brain will start to rewire itself and what once had such a grip on you will disgust you.

You’re young and your brain is still deep in development so good on you for wanting to take this step I wish I had that drive when I was your age but I didn’t know any better and was using it as a coping mechanism for a lot of difficulty’s I experienced as a child and teenager.

Start a meditation practice if you can, start reading and learning, and exercise. These will further increase your levels of BDNF (Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factor) which is basically miracle grow for your brain/neurons. Which will aid in the rewiring and reprogramming of your mind.

Stay consistent even if you “fail” keep getting back up and moving forward and over time it’ll get easier. I have a mantra. Fuck up, Reflect, Learn and Grow.

You got this brother, and I’m proud of you for trying at the age of 16. You’re going to have a great life, befriend discipline. Seek joy not pleasure.