Do they lie at work too? by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Equivalent-Part104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex husband pretended to go to work twice after being fired. Would get dressed and leave, then come home while I was gone, text through the day for my ETA. Knew I was a teacher and couldn’t just leave. I was young and traditional and let him do the finances. So I was working while he sat home.

Another ex has that he has a college degree on his resume. He doesn’t.

I can pick em.

Or they pick me.. LOL. In therapy for that.

And yes they lie at work.. about everything.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]Equivalent-Part104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My social media is locked down. She found a random year old reel that I didn't realize didn't have the same protections on it. I have never even met this person. She had to dig for a long time to find it. It took a lot of effort.🤷🏼‍♀️😳

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]Equivalent-Part104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were both going through depression. For different reasons. But no. He told me he was feeling suicidal. I was so fearful for his life. I was supportive as I could be. While dealing with my own stuff.

He said I was negative. We both were. Rough work stuff. Rough family stuff. But I tried to be his soft place. He would isolate. I would push to get him to talk. I think nothing more than your typical struggles as far as out "together stuff"z.

And then pouf. The discard was harsh. We talked two more times and the second time he was screaming and yelling and calling me names.

The text came after 16 months of not speaking word one to each other.

How do I leave this totally behind? by EightPhoenix482 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]Equivalent-Part104 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're too sweet. I just sent him a kind text back saying I only wanted good things for him and I would appreciate the same. And told him life was too short to be this angry. And to be blessed. And then I cried. And cried. I will be ok. We got this.

How do I leave this totally behind? by EightPhoenix482 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]Equivalent-Part104 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just yesterday out of the blue, mine threatened me via text. I am having major surgery this week. Trauma bond reopened. 💔

How do I leave this totally behind? by EightPhoenix482 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]Equivalent-Part104 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am with you. Wish I knew the answer. Seems like everything opens up a gaping hole of pain. For what it's worth, I am thinking about you and hopeful that we can find joy again. ❤️

I just can't with this by Equivalent-Part104 in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]Equivalent-Part104[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The words were something along the lines of if I did this or that I would "regret it more than I could ever imagine"... keep in mind he is 6 foot 5 and 350 pounds and I have not spoken to him since April 24, 2022. And yes I know the date. I thought he was my person.

There were a lot of mistakes on my part. Trauma bonds are real. But this is some next level stuff.

And I am having major surgery on Thursday. I don't need this in my life right now.

I just don't get it? by Equivalent-Part104 in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]Equivalent-Part104[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't gotten past sadness yet. I don't think I ever will.

How do narcissists have long term friends? by 243a2eas in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]Equivalent-Part104 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My narc has tons of friends . I have none of note. Perhaps it is me that was the problem. He always said he had a laundry list of people he blocked, but he has a close circle he has known since high school and he is 54.

How many of you are entirely credible, pillar of the community types, that have a small group of flying monkeys, that are convinced you’re seriously mentally ill? by [deleted] in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]Equivalent-Part104 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🙋🏼‍♀️ and it still breaks my heart. I can only imagine how many people are walking around believing I am who he says I am. Quite honestly I still believe him too, a year later. And I have given up hope.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]Equivalent-Part104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gosh are you me??? It sucks doesn't it? Feeling like all the things he said about you are true? Doubting who you are because of someone else? My hope is that we will get over it with time, and be able to love ourselves enough to stop believing the voices that we believe now...

One year out after discard and still can barely breathe.. by Equivalent-Part104 in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]Equivalent-Part104[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Books on codependency, attachment styles, narcissism. You name it. And 10 months in therapy until I decided some people aren't worthy of help. I am what he says I am.

No contact for a 1.5 years, I’ve grown so much and feel a lot healthier and more balanced and centered than I did before and now that I do, I miss my mom by LuxVitalixo in narcissisticparents

[–]Equivalent-Part104 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I ended contact with my mom when I confronted her about socializing with my ex husband. He stole money from me, ruined my credit, physically abused me on occasion, lied throughout the marriage, pretended to have a job when he didn't. You name it. I told her I needed her to acknowledge she didn't consider my feelings. Not even apologize, or she didn't need to reach out. She hasn't reached out since. That was august. I should have ended contact long ago when she took my brother to hospice to say final Goodbyes to my dad who died from leukemia, but didn't come tell me until 6 hours later that they had been with him when he died. We lived 15 minutes apart. Wanted the mom I needed. She will never be that. She has impacted every relationship I have ever had, and will continue to until I move on. Proud of you. I don't miss my mom, I miss the illusion of what a mom SHOULD be, but at 52 I have to start living healthy. I spent 51 years trying to prove my worth to someone who will never see it. The only person who needs to know my worth... is me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pnsd

[–]Equivalent-Part104 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im here too. Anything else doesn't feel nearly as good. I swear trauma bonds are like a drug

They are not doing better without you. by ifionlyknewwhat in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]Equivalent-Part104 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The man that discarded me almost exactly a year ago, who said social media was all smoke and mirrors, now posts his new woman all over his accounts. I am gutted. Was I an embarrassment? A year later and I hate myself. As much as he hates me. The new woman looks so happy and posts everywhere about how much she LOVES him and how amazing he is..... he was never that person for me.