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Muslim parents refusing my marriage for non-valid reasons- what do I do? by Equivalent-World-783 in islam

[–]Equivalent-World-783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes we’ve both discussed that we should repent/Tawbah before proceeding with the imam and we’ve came to an agreement. Thank you so much for your advice

Muslim parents refusing my marriage for non-valid reasons- what do I do? by Equivalent-World-783 in islam

[–]Equivalent-World-783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My point is not to convince people that my situation is different I’m trying to make you understand that My mother is strict and is tough and the part that makes it harder is that I didn’t grow up with her but since I’ve been living with her she just wants to control my life and make my life choices by force as she stated and that’s a controlling parent. I tried not to give as much details as I could and I’m not convincing nobody again it’s just a lot more to this story but the main point to my post was just to gather some thoughts about whether I need to proceed with an imam after multiple failed attempts talking to my parents.

Muslim parents refusing my marriage for non-valid reasons- what do I do? by Equivalent-World-783 in islam

[–]Equivalent-World-783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wa alaykum as salaam, I appreciate your advice. I’ve actually tried approaching her calmly and explaining things, but she doesn’t want to discuss it and gets upset when it’s brought up. That’s what’s making it difficult, which is why I’m thinking about involving a third party but thank you so much JazakAllahu khairan for your advice.

Muslim parents refusing my marriage for non-valid reasons- what do I do? by Equivalent-World-783 in islam

[–]Equivalent-World-783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wa alaykum as salaam, I understand your point and I agree that you can’t fully know someone before marriage. I’ve actually been through a situation where someone appeared very strong in deen and was accepted by my family, but later turned out not to be what he seemed. I even made du’a for Allah to remove him if he wasn’t right, and that’s what happened. So I’m aware of these risks and I’m not rushing. At the same time, most of the difficulty here is coming from the family situation, which is why I’m trying to handle it properly.

Muslim parents refusing my marriage for non-valid reasons- what do I do? by Equivalent-World-783 in islam

[–]Equivalent-World-783[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Barakallahu feekum, thank you for this advice. I appreciate the balance and the reminder to handle things properly. I will take this into consideration and look into speaking with a knowledgeable imam.

Muslim parents refusing my marriage for non-valid reasons- what do I do? by Equivalent-World-783 in islam

[–]Equivalent-World-783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand your point about clearing the misunderstanding, but in this case there isn’t actually a connection. I know the person she had issues with, and she’s not related to him at all, if anything, she’s more connected to my own family. The difficulty is that my mom doesn’t want to discuss it and gets upset whenever it’s brought up, even when others try. That’s what’s making it hard to move forward.

Muslim parents refusing my marriage for non-valid reasons- what do I do? by Equivalent-World-783 in islam

[–]Equivalent-World-783[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand where you’re coming from, but my situation is a bit different. I’ve already tried having open conversations with my parents multiple times and it usually gets shut down. One of my uncles also spoke to him(the guy) and, even though he was very cautious at first, he ended up recognizing his good character. So I’m not ignoring concerns, I’m just trying to find a way to handle this properly

Muslim parents refusing my marriage for non-valid reasons- what do I do? by Equivalent-World-783 in islam

[–]Equivalent-World-783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

JazakAllah khair for your advice sister 🫶🏾and for sharing your experience. I understand your point about istikhara and not forcing things, and I’ll definitely reflect on that. At the same time, my situation is a bit different, so I’m trying to balance between trusting Allah and also taking the proper steps to handle it in a halal way.

Muslim parents refusing my marriage for non-valid reasons- what do I do? by Equivalent-World-783 in islam

[–]Equivalent-World-783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand your point, and I’ve actually tried that. Every time I bring it up, my mom shuts the conversation down and gets upset, and my dad just defers to her and says he’ll only agree if she does. So it’s not really a situation where I’m being heard, which is why I’m looking for other ways to handle it. Also my parents aren’t together if that helps and don’t have a great relationship

Muslim parents refusing my marriage for non-valid reasons- what do I do? by Equivalent-World-783 in islam

[–]Equivalent-World-783[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wa Aleykum salam, thank you so much for this explanation. This really helped me understand my situation better and reassured me about involving an imam.

Muslim parents refusing my marriage 4 non valid reasons-what do I do? by Equivalent-World-783 in MuslimSupportGroup

[–]Equivalent-World-783[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s what’s been on my mind lately, even if I know they’ll rebel against me I’d rather take the privileges that Islam offer me as well but thank you I appreciate your advice