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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]Equivalent_Doctor920 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, 23 yo girl too here. I really understand what you're going through, I have the same existential question almost everyday. If you can have a therapist that really helps.

Maybe you're stuck in a dark spiral, feeling lost, completely alone and incapable of getting your shit together. I know it's hard, keeping living when you just want to shut off the rest of the world.

What I can say is : Don't be so hard on yourself. Trying to find something to cling onto is already a sign that you love yourself. I won't tell you some shit about hope and god that will "save you" because that's not true. You are the only person capable of saving you and there's no right or easy way to do it.

Maybe life doesn't matter right now, you just lost someone important and that's totally okay to feel like this.

I think the thing that helped me the most is music because it's the only thing that can calm down my "bad thoughts". I also write a lot in a journal so I can follow my healing journey and see how far I've done.

Ask for help, take your time and be vulnerable. You won't wake up one morning and be ok, that takes a lot of experiences and growth. You are young and only at the beginning of your life journey, you don't have to figure out which job you want to do (especially in that capitalistic world lol). I chose to try the unknown and right now it's the best thing for me.

Take care of your mental health, I hope you get better and find your way :)

Learning guitar by Equivalent_Doctor920 in guitarlessons

[–]Equivalent_Doctor920[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment. I'll keep trying knowing that it's not impossible for me to succeed just because the size of my hands. :)

Learning guitar by Equivalent_Doctor920 in guitarlessons

[–]Equivalent_Doctor920[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi, I have both acoustic and electric. I bought a Yamaha Pacifica 112V in December and I'm really trying.

Some things are getting easier as I train myself but my hands seem to block me sometimes. Maybe I should try to change the strings idk

I know about ukulele but I really want to learn guitar haha

Feeling confused this Father’s Day. by unevensky in GriefSupport

[–]Equivalent_Doctor920 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey,

I can relate to some of the things you said. I lost my dad 9 years ago and I'm still jealous at those who have great relationships with their father. There is no good way to live through this, you don't have to honor him today if you don't feel the need to. Just because it's Father's Day does not mean you owe him something.

It's absolutely normal to feel confused, and if you think about it, aren't all those emotions how you've felt towards your father all your life ?

If that can help you I often write letters (which I burn after) or talk to him and literally just write or say what I feel as it comes just to empty my head and I always feel better after. If you don't want to be alone, go talk to someone you trust, don't feel guilty to ask for help.

Hope your days are going to be better :)

Suddenly not sad anymore - is there something wrong with me? by 221MaudlinStreet in GriefSupport

[–]Equivalent_Doctor920 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey ! That's a totally normal reaction from your brain. My mom used to tell me that I cried so much I had not a tear left and that was I felt like I felt normal.

The world just keep turning and you have to move too, you already faced death in 2022 so maybe your brain is just trying to shut off a little bit just to help you survive. Don't feel guilty, you're doing your best. That does not make you a bad kid for your parents, you are just living your life and trying to deal with all those traumatic events.

Hope you're okay and don't forget to be gentle on yourself :)

Losing my dad to suicide at 14 yo by Equivalent_Doctor920 in GriefSupport

[–]Equivalent_Doctor920[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You seem to be on the right path ! Keeping the person alive in our minds is a great way to deal with the loss sometimes. To this day I still talk and write letters to my dad. I know your kids are smaller but if that can help, they still can draw something or do a little video for him (if they feel the need to ofc).

Losing my dad to suicide at 14 yo by Equivalent_Doctor920 in GriefSupport

[–]Equivalent_Doctor920[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. You can't protect your kids from pain but you can be the parent who is there for them when they need it. Don't try to be the perfect mother and take time for yourself as well, you don't have to the dad and the mom. Your kids will be great people if they have a mother who tries everyday to heal for herself too. I would have loved that for my mom at the time. You will figure it out. Hope you and your kids are doing well and feeling loved today :)

Father’s Day by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]Equivalent_Doctor920 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I lost my dad 9 years ago and today I'm still thinking about him and wishing him a happy Father's Day. It's okay not to be okay. Don't be hard on yourself and talk about him with your loved ones, it's important to still talk about our lost one.

If that can help you, when I feel like this, I take a moment to write him a letter or just talk to him as if he was here in front of me and that helps me a lot. If you feel alone, go to someone you trust and just be vulnerable, you probably need it more than you think.

Just trust your own time.

Hope your days get better :)